: Once Upon A Time, A Gamer Dated This Girl Who...

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Once Upon A Time, A Gamer Dated This Girl Who...

I've often said that although gaming has become mainstream, the thoroughly out-of-touch remain annoyances and even hindrances in the lives of gamers. For this editor, tonight was a prime example of how far we've come...and how far we have yet to go.

So I'm at the mall - not a place I necessarily wanted to be, but I needed to pick up something before the weekend - and although I anticipated a crowd, I figured I'd just run in and run out. It'd be a pain-free endeavor and if the mob wasn't too bothersome, I'd even stop by GameStop to consider an impulse purchase (which likely wouldn't happen, but humans have the tendency to make plans that never come to fruition). But on the way to my initial objective, I feel a light tap on my shoulder and I turn...lo and behold, it was my ex, who was looking all radiant in a bright red sweater, tight-fitting jeans, and long black hair held back in a loose ponytail. The cold had reddened her cheeks and two thoughts hurtled toward each other in my head, on a deadly collision course. Thought 1- "Damn, she looks great." Thought 2- "Damn, when she turns to walk away, I'm going to trip her." The result? The two thoughts collided and I was left smiling and shaking her hand like an accommodating idiot.

Now, although I hate to do it, I need to break off on a wee tangent so the reader can fully appreciate this encounter. We were together for a few months during the summer, and throughout that expanse of time, things were relatively relaxed and laid-back (I don't do it any other way). She never really understood what it was I did for a living, but at the very least, she accepted it and was even willing to learn more about it. She is not the kind of girl that grew up with video games; she was the Homecoming queen of her high school and went to college in Florida. She's now a legal assistant and of course, has aims of becoming an attorney in the next few years. Thing is, I don't really date much, but "smart" and "beautiful" don't typically go together, and besides, she's the one who first pursued me. Arnold knows more about this story, and he also knows basically why we broke up. I'd rather not get into it, but let's just say another guy was the catalyst.

He was only one of the people she considered a friend who I absolutely abhorred, primarily because they all slowly poisoned her mind throughout the course of our relationship. The lawyers she surrounded herself with, perhaps not surprisingly, looked down on my certain position in life, and most certainly believed she should be with someone better. They continually made "polite" insinuations that it "wasn't healthy" for someone my age to still be playing video games - a sentiment that makes me seethe more than just about anything - and in the end, I couldn't combat the deluge of negativity. She saw these people every day, especially this one guy who I met briefly, and although she said they never had an impact, I knew they did. So anyway, this one guy in question - we will call him Mr. Pretentious Jackass for now - had the gall to talk down to me the entire time we all went to a movie together. I won't repeat some of what he said, but one thing was when we were leaving and he saw my 350Z. He paused and said, "hey, you know, when you're doing better, I can give you the name of a Mercedes salesman who's really cool."

I'm not a violent person, but he's lucky he survived that comment. Not only would my Z have toasted his slow-ass E-class, but I could've twisted this idiot in knots... The mere fact that he figured he could torment me, despite the size difference, was a testament to his supreme state of mind: "I'm a lawyer; he can't hit me." My ex didn't really think any of this was a big deal, which is what eventually ended the relationship. So anyway, back to tonight, she's standing there and we're making small talk (the kind of small talk where you want to wince and die, just because it's so trivially stupid), and guess who shows up by her arm? Ah yes, Mr. Pretentious Jackass. His first words- "hey...still playing with your toys?" It was actually comical. He says this, nose in the air, looking up at me from his slight 5'9, 170lb. frame, me contemplating the sound of broken bones as I look down from my 6'3, 230lb. - and may I say at this point, quite powerful - frame. I've been an avid weightlifter for 7 years and this guy has never picked up anything heavier than his briefcase. Which, by the way, probably held nothing but crackers. Idiot.

So yes, no matter what I did, I could not battle the stereotype that, quite honestly, had a hand in actually ending a relationship. No matter what she saw, no matter the evidence...I was still just an 11-year-old in a 30-year-old's body in their eyes. My past didn't even factor in. My Psychology degree, my publishing history that involves four newspapers, one magazine, three websites, 100+ feature articles for places like FOX, industry experience in music, comedy, and television, and high-profile celebrity interviews; it was all irrelevant. I even had the upper hand going in, as this girl honestly didn't have a problem with any of it, but the power of suggestion from that circle of legal geniuses permanently altered her outlook. She didn't even blink an eye when the "toy" comment was uttered, and that simpering smile still sat plastered on her face. Her Armani-wearing friend there didn't even have the respect to laugh or eye me nervously; it was a legitimate shut-down insult designed for no other reason than to injure.

My response to this whole thing? Eh. If this was 5 or 10 years ago, I might've reacted differently, but when someone is my age, one should be content with their lot in life. Or, if not content, at least secure in who they are, and I walked quietly away from those two, firmly acknowledging the following facts:

A. I've worked hard to forge a writing career for myself, and while I have many more goals, I am proud of what I have accomplished so far.

B. I've rubbed elbows with certain people Mr. Pretentious Jackass has probably only had wet dreams about.

C. Physically, I'd own that fool. Mentally...I'd own that fool.

D. She came up to me, and I broke up with her.

Yeah, that's right. Bitch. ;) The rest is all quite obvious: although I'd like to say that game journalism is as equally respected as any other writing profession, it's not. Sadly, we still have a loooong way to go.

11/28/2008 Ben Dutka

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Comments (115 posts)

WorldEndsWithMe
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:15:13 PM
Reply

Good story Ben, and a perfect example of how the holidays can suck. Too bad you couldn't reasonably have popped his little head like a zit, but there's no sense getting sued. What a tool.

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Tim Speed24
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 11:56:12 AM

I run into that all the time. I'm a 40 year old gamer but feel ashamed when I mention I own a PS3.

I would have tried to turn this on the Lawyer and say that he's been missing out on some great entertainment. What does he do, watch TV.

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MetalHead09
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 2:28:37 PM

timster never feel ashamed of being as gamer. those fools out there have no idea what their missing and not to mention we probly are a part of one of the most technilogically advanced and fastest growing industries on the planet. be proud man. i dont hide that im a gamer, i wear a cheat code central shirt sometimes and if i had a PSXExtreme shirt id wear it to. hold that gamer head high dude.

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Buckeyestar
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:26:38 PM
Reply

I am not a violent person, I'm a pacifist actually, but I would have been hard pressed not to just pop that guy or at least put him in his place. Kudos to you. You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

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ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:41:17 PM
Reply

I can't believe you didn't make mince meat out of him. You should've said something. Dammit, go on AIM. Now I'm pissed off. Hahahaha.

Last edited by ArnoldK PSXE on 11/28/2008 10:41:44 PM

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chilker
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:42:33 PM
Reply

Mean people suck.
I hope you find/have found someone who can respect what you do.
Good luck.

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eLLeJuss
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:43:54 PM
Reply

Nice story. So Arnold is a lawyer??? hahahaha.. just playin Ben :P. i wouldnt have restrained myself if that sorta thing happened to me..

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ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:48:44 PM

Funny you say that. I actually got my Bachelor's in Political Science, but chose not to go to law school. I am rather well versed in the field, but ultimately decided it isn't for me.

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eLLeJuss
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:55:27 PM

awww.. If i made it that far i would've continued to law school. But yeah, doing something your not really interested in is pretty hard.

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AntDC
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 10:46:08 PM
Reply

Shot Ben. Lawyers hate being ignored. Walking away was probably the most effective thing you could have done. And I can totally relate to the "kind of small talk where you want to wince and die, just because it's so trivially stupid".

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eLLeJuss
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:00:31 PM
Reply

LoL. Ben, you should've told him this part "this guy has never picked up anything heavier than his briefcase." when he said the thing about the toys..:D

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jaw2008
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:03:09 PM
Reply

Why in hell do people think "Gamers" are always the fat ass people who do nothing in their life.

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eLLeJuss
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:07:06 PM
Reply

ok ben, give us a picture of him. And we'll handle the rest. bwahahahahahaha

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:39:15 AM

That'd be entertaining. ;)

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eaglebaize
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:22:48 PM
Reply

Kudos to you for walking away. I know it's hard, but there's no point in wasting your time with idiots like that. Sure, he can say, "Well I have a degree in *blahblahblahblahblah*," but really, a formal education in law or whatever doesn't always make someone "smart." In plain English, he's just a cocky person that's possibly insecure.

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Jed
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:30:22 PM
Reply

I think I went to high school with that guy...

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:46:00 AM

I think we all did.

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Schmitty
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:31:28 PM
Reply

i would of punched that b**ch in the face... i freakin hate lawyers....and the thing is lawyers arent cocky and insecure ther just cocky they think ther hot sh**....

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Schmitty
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:31:58 PM
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sry for language but people like that piss me off

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HUSO
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:34:33 PM
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hehehe would have loved to see u break a ps3 over the fool's head :D

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tlpn99
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:03:04 PM

What a waste of a PS3 lol but would have been funny to see.

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tlpn99
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:03:31 PM

Fair play to you though Ben for being calm and restrained. I know it's something I would not have been able to do I would have chinned the cheeky bugger lol :)

Last edited by tlpn99 on 11/29/2008 2:03:43 PM

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:10:49 PM

I, myself, would've used a 360. But, point taken.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:13:14 PM

Nah, the PS3 is heavier. But I'd rather get rid of the 360 first. LOL

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QuasarSquirrel
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 9:11:52 PM

After seeing all the punishment a PS3 could take on that X-play episode with the Human Wrecking ball guys, I'd use it. I'm sure it'd still work afterward.

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Arkhon
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 @ 5:46:48 PM

Break a Gamecube over the guy's head, then give the PS3 to me. Seriously, I need one. I feel like a noob.

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BigT_1980
Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 11:59:55 PM
Reply

So Ben you should told this tool to take his Amercronie & Fitch wearing Giorgio Armani cologne bathing Super Cuts hair cut wearing douche bag to go home go home before he misses his favorite episode of One Tree Hill.

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King James
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:12:13 AM
Reply

He couldn't come at me like that, Ben. You betta than me b/c I don't tolerate no one talking to me like I'm less than a man. But I guess that's that extra 8 years of living u got on me. I may have not gone straight to the hands w/ dat a-hole, but I would've definitely beat him up verbally. Then as soon as he touched me..."Two pieced his face w/ the biscuit and the pepper on the side"!...LOL

Ahhh, Words are weapons.

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:36:38 AM

I prefer the London-kissah !!!(aka "head-butt")

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Kiengo
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:30:01 AM
Reply

I never pictured you in my mind as a weightlifter. Cool. Maybe you can give me a beginner's routine through PM or email. Anyways, I'm sorry the trip to the mall was such a negative one. Your actions showed class though, and that's a lot more important than being a lawyer. Remember, we love ya!

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The_Chimeran
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:39:52 AM
Reply

Haha. Good read, I've always said that knowing your the better person is best.
It actually kind of reminds of this vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpog1_NFd2Q
you guys should check it out (It's the best argument against a lawyer I've seen).

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aaronisbla
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:42:48 AM
Reply

I have been in that situation ben, with my wife and a co worker of hers. When i asked her to marry me and she told her co workers about it, all were happy except one guy.

He knew i play games as a hobby and tried to fill her mind with all types of garbage. So one day while i was picking her up, lo and behold, this guys walks right in front of me and says congrats, not knowing that my then fiance told me everything.

So i confronted him, im not 6'3 but i sit at 6'0 around 260ish. It was one of the few times i just had to use my size advantage to mess with the guy, those who know me know i wouldn't fight unless it was needed. I scared him pretty badly but i didn't hurt him.

Last edited by aaronisbla on 11/29/2008 12:43:37 AM

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aaronisbla
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:44:22 AM
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also if she is hot, id say you should still go for it.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 12:50:26 AM
Reply

Thanks for the responses, peeps. While I know I did the right thing, I've been fuming all night. I had to go blow sh** up in Dead Space (that boss at the end of Chapter 6 ruled, but 2 of my 4 weapons were useless against it so it was tough).

Arnold, I'll still be pissed same as you tomorrow. So I'll be around...there's a small follow-up to this story I gotta tell you about, anyway.

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Tatsujin
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:21:06 AM

Lol, take it easy Ben :P Who gives a flying rats ass about anything (If they were in your shoes) you got a bad ass career that anyone would probably want (even that twig of a lawyer) and your the one thats making the fame...

Hes probably just insecure about himself ;), anyways nice story and peace!

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DIsmael85
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 4:08:09 AM

Crazy story Ben. My girlfriend of about 8 years broke up with me just a month ago. Scarecrow on here knows I talked about her a lot, loved her with all my heart. I never could figure out exactly why she did it, but maybe my gaming habits may have had something to do with it, Im not 100% sure. It hurts like hell to think about it, and I try my best to move on. Coming here and reading what you write is awesome, and these types of things are inspiring to me. Even though I dont know you personally, you seem like a damn good person and would be an awesome friend. There's this girl who is new at work, and she's pretty cool, and after about a month of not making friends with the opposite sex, I'm thinking it's about time I see other people, so Im thinking to ask her out, especially to make up for her birthday she spent alone. Life can be cruel, but we all make it. It's funny that way as well.

Last edited by DIsmael85 on 11/29/2008 4:09:17 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:31:03 AM

8 years? Wow man...although I'm qualified to be a marriage counselor (rather kill myself, but whatever), I can't say I know what it feels like for such a long-term relationship to end. All I CAN say is - and I'm sure this comes as little consolation - is that time really DOES heal all. The rule is proven in this way:

Even when people are absolutely crushed after a break-up and could never fathom in a million years that time won't help much, they're the ones that quote this same piece of advice to you a few years later. ;)

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:16:43 PM

Ismael, if it's just been a month after 8 years, don't. Figure out yourself first, otherwise your past will show again, only the new person will call it "extra baggage".

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Phoelix
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:18:58 AM
Reply

As much fun as it would have been to jack the lawyer in the jaw, that would have been the worst path of action. All of you guys encouraging violent acts upon the man are just proving that gamers really are neanderthals. That's not what we want to tell people, is it? The best way to get video games considered legit is to make ourselves legit. I applaud you for your actions, Ben, but I advise you not to waste another second of your time on that girl or that guy. There's a reason why you broke up with her.

As far as gamers go, we're all oppressed here; my mom is livid when I buy a game, but doesn't care if I go to the movies, eat at a restaurant, or spend my money in any other way. She also wouldn't care if I just laid on the couch and watched TV all day. Just as long as I'm not playing video games. But I can't just get mad at her and fight her over it. That's just make the situation worse.

And I would like to add that, yes, it is ridiculously easy to, when confronted with a man who thinks he's smarter than you, want to clean his clock. It's just instinct. Just don't let it get out of hand.

Last edited by Phoelix on 11/29/2008 1:20:41 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:32:48 AM

I wouldn't get mad and yell in your situation, but I would most certainly try to calmly educate my mother on the matter...

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MRSUCCESS
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:19:43 AM
Reply

Ahh running into ex-girlfriends. It can truly be very awkward and leave you wondering "why did I run into that ****?" all night long.

Dead space huh? I'd just play Warhawk and do what I do best, kill others on land or air. Don't let it consume you though, I'm sure we can both agree you're better off without her.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:25:50 AM
Reply

Sounds like he's lacking in a certain department, I just saw a TV commercial for a gift you could send him. Gift wrap a bottle of Extenze and mail it on over :)

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:33:12 AM

LOL Gift wrap!

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:39:18 PM

Classic.

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Jed
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 12:00:13 AM

That would be fu**ing awesome.

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Scarecrow
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:48:29 AM
Reply

Girls are dumb and indicisive, specially in the US.

In countries like japan trivial stuff like hobbies don't get in the way of relationships I'm sure.

The US culture is messed up, sad, very sad.

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Reccaman18
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 3:50:34 PM

Thats why I love Asian girls! lol

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:29:02 AM
Reply

"Still playing with your toys?"... I would've been like, "Nah f*ckhead, your playing with them, now. Enjoy... I know I did." But that would've made me the bad guy, too.

But, Ben, you are a gentleman, and proved you are the bigger man (in more ways than one). The guy was just jealous, and furstrated which shows the benz, the suit, the girl can't make up for certain short-comings. And you know what? The look he gave you shows that he was afraid, and still wrestling with a past which the girl had that he can't get rid of. Those guys try to compensate for certain insecurities all their lives, until even the ones they live with get sick of it. Believe it or not, secretly the guy envies you: You live your life as you like, and by your own terms. It's a f*ckin' rat-race, and anyone who is not stuck in it is admired by everyone who is, including the girl, and even him. You are free, and they are envious. And lawyers hate lawyers. At the end of the day, the last person anyone wants to come home to is someone who reminds you of work!!!!
Now regarding the girl... you've been saved. Nothing against professional women, but a lawyer can only be a part-time spouse, at best. Now if you broke up with her, she was trying to show you off. Which means she didn't even give a f*ck about the guy she was with (because it wasn't a nice situation to put him in, either), and she was still thinking about you...Now, if it was more of a mutual thing, means she still wasn't over you... Most likely, it was a mixture of those two scenarios, cause in life, it rarely is just this or that. Either way, forget about them. Since you did what you were suppose to do, you are allowed to do just that.
No matter how modern this world is, women (and people in general) fall into domains. Don't waste your time with girls who've already been taken...and I'm not talking about by other men. Their defiled, spoiled goods, in just the same way. And for God's sake, keep away from artificial, ostentatious f*cks. And never share a female friend, even platonically. People relate with their like and women relate with women (even the competitive b*tch types)...if she isn't it's because she's confused, or suffering from the "only-child" syndrome... Either way she doesn't know her intention... And that's the biggest waste of time.


Last edited by Aftab on 11/29/2008 2:30:26 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:27:57 AM

Well thought-out. Good boost for my somewhat deflated ego, too. ;)

I suppose the real bitch of the matter is that I really thought this particular girl was different. I know every guy always says that - it's like the default excuse these days - but I pride myself on being able to spot people like that from a mile away. She had me fooled, even if it was only at first.

In all honesty, I think that's what annoys me the most.

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:17:32 PM

I know exactly what you mean. And you know what? You were probably right about her on who she was, and who she is to some extent. But the fact is, personality doesn't entirely decide who we are or will be. Our choices do. Because of that, you can never predict to 100% accuracy what a person will become. The best one can do is either find a woman who's found her lot in life, or look for certain traits that generally don't change...

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:15:56 PM

Very true. Perhaps dating women who are in their early 20s just lead to problems for me. If they're older, I would expect them to be more secure in who they are and what they want. It's just...many early 20s chicks are ridiculously hot.

So sue me. :)

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Aftab
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 12:21:54 AM

Younger is better in many ways (biologically, psychologically). One just needs to know where to fish (not hunt). I know it sounds obnoxious, but it's true. In America, it's becoming increasingly difficult to find that spot, though. Everywhere else in the world, your window of opportunity would be a referral from a family friend, or friend of a friend from the local village or neighborhood, or just the general social network. This is happening less and less these days especially here in the US, due to university, career, and geographical expanse. So what happens? These, school and work, are the same places that become those social circles. I don't count the bar or the club, because certain decision are better done sober. I don't count the mall because people are either with friends and distracted, or alone and in and out. I don't count the internet, because of the blocking of too many of nature's signals. But really it can happen, anywhere. Owing to the uniqueness of your situation, you're not riding the commuter rail, where you might bump in to her. You may not be at the office (thank God) where you might bump in to that coworker (despite the legal risks, it's happening more frequently these days)... Travel if and while you can. Sight-see. And move into the city if you haven't already. Point is one must be in the midst of things, for a healthy pool of possiblities to open up. At that point, live your life as you normally do, don't sweat it, and let nature do it's job. Call it what you want: cupid, or pheramones, or whatever...but there definitely is a force at play more powerful than chance, or anything we can do by ourselves. And big key to all my fellow bacholor's out there: know thy self. And know thy intention. Figure out these things before you decide what you want. Don't let anything (including career, relationships, or videogames) other then you make that decision for you. This can save one many, many years.

Last edited by Aftab on 11/30/2008 12:29:16 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 12:36:10 AM

Well, for now, I'm really just focusing on accomplishing more personal goals. I'm really not interested in trying the dating thing too much until I'm more satisfied with what I've done and what I can offer. Honestly, the only reason I got with this girl is because, as I said, she sought me out at a party. Not places I typically go, either.

But whatever. I'm not sorry for the experience. Nobody should ever be sorry for experience...in a not-so-profound analogy, this is the same reason I never once ran away from battles in FF, even when my characters were thousands of points away from leveling up and the enemies I encountered offered 1 Exp. each. ;)

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Aftab
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 1:11:09 PM

I hear you. Mad props on the exp points. Spread the points well as you level up. Just one more thing. If you like the younger women, time is a consideration. Keep it, not as a goal, but as consideration, nonetheless. Peace out and be strong.

Last edited by Aftab on 11/30/2008 1:22:16 PM

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Advent Child
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 3:38:03 AM
Reply

You know what Ben. All I can say is that besides my immediate family I look up to you and respect you more than any other single person I know. And really I don't know you, but your personally shines through in your writing.

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FallenClyro
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:14:47 AM

Exactly what I was going to say!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:35:17 AM

I'm flattered, but trust me when I say, I have more faults than I can count. LOL I do appreciate it, though...I wouldn't have written this here if I didn't know our readership was the kind that appreciated a bit of personal interaction with the authors.

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sabitrulz
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 4:12:37 AM
Reply

5 of ma glafrnds left me cuz i love vdo gamez more than gals....but w/e i still do love vdo gamez.....ps3 looks sexier than ma current galfrnd!

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BigT_1980
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:08:44 AM

Honestly I wouldn't blame them Sora. I would never put video games over any of my obligations. I always put work, family, and friends before playing video games. Video games is a just a hobby you should never put it in front of life. Sometimes I would would love to put video games in front of life and social obligations but I just can't do.

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xtreme
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 5:10:21 AM
Reply

Hmmm, i've never met someone like that (Never want to either) I guess you've taken the very mature way about the situation I respect you ALOT for that. If i were in your shoes that dude would be hospitalised by now I hate it when people belittle me. I supose theres always some jackass around that thinks there better than you.

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Deleted User
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 7:06:21 AM
Reply

Ben you need a backbone. All the girls I mess with know I play video games. THEY CALL ME. When I'm playing and I'm on the phone with them they know im ignoring them. And I make them repeat EVERYTHING they said when I ask them to. When one of them is talking and a cutscene comes on I say hold on, and silence immediately befalls. As for "another dude" I couldnt really sympathize with you on that because no girl wants to downgrade. So if they dont defend you in situations like the one you brought up AND THEN leave you for that same dude, you have to get your "game" right buddy.... You get the picture. So if you wanna learn the ropes just ask and I'll teach you how to stunt.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:36:47 AM

Even if you are telling the truth, this ceases to work with adult girls. Just a forewarning.

Secondly...if you had any idea what kind of feature articles I used to write for FOX, you wouldn't bother to offer this kind of machismo advice. Heh.

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Deleted User [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:39:11 AM

i guess youre right. u the man ;)

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Bugzbunny109
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:33:07 PM

Bleck sorry to say, but you sound like a condescending jackass:) I would never treat girls that way!

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Sir Shak
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 8:30:48 AM
Reply

nice article ben......something similar happened to me 3 years ago except the issue wasnt gaming and mr. pretentious jackass was my best friend at the time .
since then i have never been in a serious relationship and have become indifferent towards people .

@huso.....you should come to india gate tonight to pay tribute to the people who laid down their lives in the past three days .

Last edited by Sir Shak on 11/29/2008 8:31:55 AM

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empathy
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 8:51:19 AM
Reply

Ah man that sucks. Great/infuriating story. I have a similar relationship with my ex, but it had more to do with music than games. I still kinda/sorta/maybe love her though which drives me crazy since I kinda/sorta hate her. -_- Anyway, I don't care how old I get, I would have borderline murdered that guy. Seriously, you should laid him out and ignored the inevitable lawsuit.

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pavlovic
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 8:55:16 AM
Reply

A lot of hate words to the lawyers... we are not all the same. Honestly!!!!!

But being a lawyer and a gamer had me a lot of that type oc commentaries Ben's talking about.

My ex always said that she prefered me to stay at home playing videogames that going out with my buddies. So she encoraged me to play videogames LOL.

Well done Ben, you should be proud of the excellent work you do everyday. Don't let anyone tell you different.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:38:47 AM

Well, at least you've proven that not ALL lawyers are jackasses. I was hoping someone in here would do that, because it's silly to assume the theory is true...as true as I WANTED it to be last night. LOL

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:23:42 PM

Haha, Pavlovic. Guess there're exceptions to every rule. You da man.

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ActionJackson
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 9:22:50 AM
Reply

Just flash the whole, "I have a degree in Psychology, I think I would know better than you" - thing in their faces. Seems to me like the perfect rebuttal if anyone thinks playing video games is "unhealthy".

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Deleted User
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:41:20 AM

then he would get laughed at. A degree doesnt make u money. Its the job.

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cheng
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 11:51:34 AM
Reply

He paused and said, "hey, you know, when you're doing better, I can give you the name of a Mercedes salesman who's really cool."

Me:"Oh no my AUDI R8(or Ferrari Enzo if u want) was sent to the garage few days ago, had a little problem with the exaust, this one here's my friends car, thanks anyway but...... who drives Mercedes anyway..."

Dont let Mr pretentious Jackass influence you in ANY WAY ben, u did the right thing n i'm pround to be your readers :)

Last edited by cheng on 11/29/2008 11:53:30 AM

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monomilkman
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 1:14:30 PM
Reply

my heart goes out to you but in the future lawyers hopefully gamers and snotty lawyers can change this, I for one hope to

I am currently a senior in college majoring in Political Science, Minor in Psychology working on all my law school apps now, and no matter what I intend to make time later in life to continue playing video games, I figure it will be a nice way to de-stress, has worked well so far

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FLYING_APE
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:15:52 PM
Reply

My girlfriends friends do the same to me. I have a 2 yo kid with her which they wanted her to have an abortion. Apparently a 19 yo who is a carpenter and plays video games is simply not good enough. I think cuz i play games they see me as a stupid nerdy kid.

the ps3 browser is useless for commenting

Last edited by FLYING_APE on 11/29/2008 2:19:52 PM

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Aftab
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:29:20 PM

Flying_Ape, I thought that sh*t only happened in the US. Anyways, if you take care of your kid, right, then you are a man in full...so enjoy your past time as you like.

Last edited by Aftab on 11/29/2008 2:29:39 PM

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mrgraves
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:46:07 PM
Reply

This is an Onion article, right?

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:16:31 PM

What's that?

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WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 2:43:36 PM

Political satire mag. Not sure how it's relevant here.

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Wage SLAVES
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 2:49:56 PM
Reply

Ugh...I hate snobby people. At least your making an honest living. He is a vulture making money at someone else's misfortune (sorry Pavlovic). You've gone on to make plenty of online friends around the world that would love to be around with you. A lot of us do look up to you, in all age groups.This guy is just trying to be important. How many people REALLY care about him...

I've been in the exact position. Every guy should be weary of that "single" guy friend. They are the serpent at the ear of our apple wielding women...

Last edited by Wage SLAVES on 11/29/2008 2:51:01 PM

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CH1N00K
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 4:25:46 PM
Reply

I would have asked him if he was still keeping his toys up his ass..

Actually I had a similar situation with an ex once too. Looked down on for my career (at the time I was coaching a Snowboard team) I owned an old jeep, she left me for a guy with a souped up Lexus. So be it and Good riddance, But I think the guy had small penis syndrome though. He almost killed her and him one day just because he wanted to get by me on the way down from the ski hill. If anyone has ever driven a road in the Canadian Rockies that leads to a ski hill, passing on a narrow twisty two lane road in the middle of a snowstorm is never a good idea in a rear wheel drive Lexus. He rolled the car into a ditch. Luckily neither were hurt except for a few scrapes and bruises, but she broke up with him right there on the spot because she realized he was a tool. I gave her a ride home and left him standing on the side of the road by a wrecked Lexus waiting for a Tow Truck. She tried to get back together with me on the ride down, but I told her I had a career as a freestyle Snowboard coach to concentrate on and didn't have time for her. Never saw her again. Lol,

Now I have a girlfriend who loves to ski, Play video games, and loves going camping/offroading in my old Jeep. I'm happy and the rest of the world can go screw itself..lol


Last edited by CH1N00K on 11/29/2008 4:28:11 PM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:11:04 PM

LOL Ah, that story feeds the soul. Thanks. :)

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m2tbo
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 5:12:38 PM
Reply

An e-series Mercedes? Owning an e-series is like saying "I wish I could afford a real Mercedes." At least your car is stylish and sporty. Anyway, I don't understand why people can't respect others lifestyles. I'd rather play video games and write about it rather than brown nose clients and search for my next billable hour. Different strokes for different folks.

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Goten
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 5:59:17 PM
Reply

It takes real guts to walk away from a situation like that Ben and I applaud you, only a real bloke refuses to react to petty morons like that!

Having done the odd review for this site and others I can understand the ins and outs a little better than others. The amount of effort it takes to make a connection with the reader like these guys do is immense, especially if you don't have a natural talent for it, and it's something I struggled with and probably never got right (hence why I'm not a professional writer lol). Anyone who doesn't understand this doesn't really have any right to act like this turd did to you, but I guess that will never stop the morons.

Last edited by Goten on 11/29/2008 5:59:59 PM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:11:50 PM

Thanks. :)

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Bugzbunny109
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 6:40:12 PM
Reply

@ Ben- I never knew that you were nafarious at times! Well good job walking away, i would have done the same thing. I am not a violent guy but i love violent video games!

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somethingrandom
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 1:42:05 AM
Reply

I would have talked down to him and got him mad enough to punch you. The result would be hilarious. I have never met someone like that, probably because I'm 16, but whatever. I've also never had a girlfriend, but that's because I'm considered nerdy (I figure I'm not even close considering my passion for soccer and dirt biking). My school, being less than 400 filled with kids 5-18 doesn't have many lookers anyway.

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BikerSaint
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 2:26:01 AM
Reply

Ben,
you're a better man than I am, by walking away.

As for myself, besides being a 56 year old game player since the 1070's, I'm first & formost, a hardcore biker so I would've taken it much farther.
My motto is, "Respect gets respect, talk s*it, get hit". When somebody meets me they either like me or hate me(not a problem either way), but I guarantee they had better respect me, or else.

Anyays, if "legal briefs" had asked me if I was still playing with my toys, first response would've been "Nope, remember when I broke up with her? Well, guess who's playing the "hand-me downs" now?

And lawyer or no lawyer, 2nd response would've been to exact an "attitude adjustment" to the has-been's, flavor of the moment, on all the major particulars of what "RESPECT" means, just before hailing him a cab to the nearest ER.

As for lawyers.......I f**king hate them!!!!
Al the one's I've met are 2-bit clap-sucking leetches!!!!!(no offense towards real blood-sucking water leetch's). The last I used not only took the expected 1/3 from my $190,000 settlement, he then took another $85,000 on top of it for(inflated & padded) expenses(WTF, $150 charges each for each letter sent out, another $200 per phone call, etc, etc), etc. I'm just glad I never asked him for a cup of water, cause who knows how much more he would've gouged me for the H2O....and the paper cup).

Anyway, at least you can chalk up your experience as one of those little "puke hiccup's" in the history of life.

As for me, I'm taking solace in the fact that I've still got a whole lot more chapters to etch out in my "A-hole's Suck" Chronicles LOL

Anyways, thanks for sharing
Saint

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Deleted User
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 4:55:26 PM

The 1070's? Wow youre pretty old

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 1:08:15 AM

Hey, good to have a veteran gamer around. My father was a motorcycle mechanic for years and was actually offered a top position with Yamaha way back before my parents started another business. So bikes are certainly part of my family, although I've never really gotten into them.

Thankfully, I haven't had any bad experiences - besides verbal - with lawyers, the way you have. But...er...things can change. ;)

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ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 12:26:25 PM
Reply

Wow. This epic. Don't worry, guys...Ben and I are collectively planning something as retaliation. It's not verbal, nor physical, not even prankish. But Douchebag McGee will feel it one way or the other if it pans out.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 2:48:25 PM

Do my above mentioned prank on top of that :)

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Aftab
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 4:01:35 PM
Reply

Definitely. WEWM's idea is ingenius. Subtle, yet refined. The gentleman's prank. Won't take much effort, or risk. Plus, it's something Mr. Briefcase-crackers couldn't tattle about, without further being embarrassed. Go for it, and don't forget the gift wrap!

Last edited by Aftab on 11/30/2008 4:07:49 PM

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N a S a H
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 4:54:49 PM
Reply

That guy is an idiot. Who wants an E-class over a 350Z?!?! It's like picking a 60 year old over a 20 year old.... BTW Ben, Weighlifting is a great way of getting rid of all that stress. xD

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 1:11:37 AM

Oh, I think it's painfully clear he knows nothing about cars. A Benz is the default lawyer prick car, that's all.

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ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 7:05:54 PM
Reply

I'll say. It's not like the douche drives an E55 or E63 AMG Benz, or something.

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Lordnicon
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 7:15:43 PM
Reply

While im going to have to give the slap on the wrist for the height/size comments (sue me im short), that ass was most certainly a douche and I too would have wanted to deck him if I was in your position. Its hard being in a position where general culture give's the other person the upper hand in sh*t talk/status chit chat.

And I cringe at feeling one must have knowing you used to stick it to that girl and she can put on a dumb smile - All the while ignoring completely how transparent the situation of your/ and their (his,hers & and colleagues) relationships relate and not seeing the d!ckheadedness on the part of the other guy. Lets not mention the fact that she tapped you - and for what? Stupid chit chat and a confirmation that either you or her "friend" is a loser (not that you would be but from a certain perspective someone might try to say that)?

The worst is when you think of good things to say after the fact.

Excuse my long winded-ness but screw that *expletive* *expletive* *expletive* *expletive* *expletive* *expletive* lol. Basically.

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FLYING_APE
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 8:40:09 PM
Reply

BEN your better off without her. I don't like woman like that

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BikerSaint
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 10:13:19 PM
Reply

Bleck
Yup, not quite as old as dirt itself, but.....
"Just old enough to know better, but not fu*ckin' care either"! "FTW"

And if you're a young one, also consider this.......I own 9 gaming systems, which I'm pretty sure at least a couple of my older consoles just might've been brought into this world before you were too.

Now, about those 70's, ya might've liked it back then, lots of free sex, free drugs & free rock & roll.......not all this "pay for play" sh*t for everything, in most of today's "it's all about me" generation.

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LightShow
Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 11:02:56 PM
Reply

meh. If a woman can be swayed by Mr. Pretentious Jackass' opinions and obvious stereotypes (not to mention complete lack of respect for those twice his size) she might not be all that intelligent after all.

i prefer the kind of woman who's violently opinionated and appreciates all the work that goes into my guns (like the girl i'm with now =D). That way i know we'll both agree when someone is a Jackass, that she'll understand when i send my head through the drywall powerlifting, and also that she'll never go into law =D

Last edited by LightShow on 11/30/2008 11:06:34 PM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 1:10:38 AM
Reply

And as Arnold said, this isn't over just yet. I didn't really expect to get this kind of response, but if something happens that's worthy of writing another story about, I won't hesitate.

Thanks again to all! ;)

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kiseliok
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 12:09:12 PM

ya, good story, Ben.
I'll be waiting for the "comeback" story. I want to know what you guys are planning for that mofo!!! and if needed, I'll come over during winter break and help you out. chaaaa. :D

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MetalHead09
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 2:57:16 PM
Reply

wow ben that sucks. idk if i would have bin able to act in the same way but you give gameing a good name, whether other people see it or not. i hope i dont run into the same type situation. my dream in life is to have a family so i wouldnt wish something like that on my worste enemy. good luck finding love man.

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BikerSaint
Monday, December 01, 2008 @ 6:55:41 PM
Reply

Hey Ben,
Thanks for the welcome.

Although I know next to nothing about metric bikes(we're a "Harley's only" club), I do know that the larger Yamaha's are closest to the Harleys(like the 1100), they're the only air cooled, "single crank", engine's like Harley's.

Don't want to get too far off-topic from this article here, but......
On your newsletter of Nov.15th, for your Editorial:"How "Golden" Was The Golden Age?",
I made my intro, and wrote my nostalgic, ramblings on my gaming beginning's over the years, on each system I own, & also what my own personal favorite games for each system are.

But I'm guessing, due to my own procrastinations, that nobody noticed it because I wrote it 5 days late, & a newer newsletter was already out too.

So, here's the link back to it if you're interested in reading it(and I made easy enough to to find, seeing how I'm the very last comment there too, LOL)......
http://www.psxextreme.com/feature/344.html

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 12:14:53 AM

Oh, I read it. I try to read all posts when it's obvious the poster put a lot of effort into it. But we have so many good ones, I can't reply to them all. ;)

And I won't repeat what my father says about Harleys...let's just say that as a fan of reliability in all vehicles, and someone who had to work on every type of bike known to man, he wasn't a fan. LOL No offense or anything.

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BrownBurmese
Tuesday, December 02, 2008 @ 4:23:09 PM
Reply

Hummm..., I consider myself relatively lucky to live among people who understand and respect the hobby of playing games (being a developper greatly helps make them understand too!). But you can't do much when you come across A-list assholes like this guy! There's one thing I can tell you though..., nothing spells revenge like a set of keys "gently" rubbed again a "beamer" or mercedes paint job...! Just watch out for surveillance cams! ;)

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 2:50:55 PM
Reply

LOL Ben, hey not a prob!

Although I'm not a great fan of metrics, I will respect the rights of any 2 wheelers, except for poser's, fake wannabee's, or the pretend "weekend warriors".

Yea, I know alot of the Harleys in the past weren't the greatest, they leaked oil & such, especially during AMF's years of ownership, but those H-D's were just marking their territories. And now they've gotten a hell of a lot better quality control since H-D bought em back.

My old touring bagger, a 87 Electra Glide Classic(FLHT), has now got a 100CI RevTech engine & if it wasn't for heavy traffic(and numerous speeding tickets)it'll run a smooth 110 MPH cross-country, like a raped ape with a nuclear cruise missle shoved up it's hemmoroids.

And besides, I've heard more than once, of a few metrics leaving small puddles of rice under their bikes when parked too, LOL

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 4:28:50 PM

Oh, my father never really had time to own or ride anything but dirt bikes around our woods. He just worked on all street bikes for a job for many years, and these days, he has even less time with the store and everything (which has nothing to do with motorcycles).

I just remember him saying when I was younger that he could work on Harleys and nothing else and still make a living; much like with the Jaguar back in the day, you had to own two Harleys...'cuz one would always be in the shop. Heh. I don't ride myself. A different generation, I suppose. But I was well acquainted, having spent plenty of time around my father and his friends when I was a kid. ;)

Last edited by Ben Dutka PSXE on 12/3/2008 4:29:23 PM

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 9:01:50 PM
Reply

<<<<I just remember him saying when I was younger that he could work on Harleys and nothing else and still make a living.>>>

I had one even worse than a Harley, a 1999$25,000 Road Warrior made by CMC(California Motorcycle Co, re-invented into the Indian's of 1999-2000's) which wound up being even less than crap.

I had named my CMC "Trailer Whore" cause everything that could go wrong did, including trans, & the motor, and in only 3 years time.
Since the CMC's/newer Indians got such a bad rep, I couldn't even sell the POS, so I wound up junking it in a salvage yard for $8500, & then bought my old 87 H-D for $9500.
And haven't had a problem with it since I got it.

As for cars, I like yours(and Arnolds), but haven't owned a auto since 1984, I just keep upgrading to new Ford F-150 pickup every few years.

But.......if I really had the extra bucks to own my dream car, I'd have to either hit the lottery. or have a long lost dead uncle who really liked me, cause I want one of VW's supercars, the Bugatti Veyron 16.4

It does 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds, 0 to 125 in 7.3
seconds, 0 to 187 in 16.7 seconds, & 0 to 250 mph in 55 seconds. It even stops from 250MPH to 0 in 9.8 seconds!
ALL THAT AND...it's only a mere $1.5 million).

http://www.diseno-art.com/encyclopedia/vehicles/road/cars/Bugatti_Veyron.html

OR......

http://www.bugattipage.com/ride.htm


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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 9:08:23 PM

LOL Oh, I think Arnold and I are well aware of the Bugatti. That thing is sick. We can't nab one of those (and I'm pretty sure I have no rich uncles), but we're happy with what we have. Might want to upgrade to the new 370Z in a few years time, though.

I think my father and you would get along pretty well, despite the Harley discrepancy. LOL You'd have a lot to talk about. Him and a friend worked at restoring old Indians for a few years and I'm POSITIVE he despised THOSE. He still thought they were cool, though. Even though he always stressed reliability, he never liked to admit that he loves working on things that are broken. That love just never rubbed off on me. :)

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 10:58:20 PM
Reply

I'll have to Google the 370Z to see what it looks like,

A co-worked of mine bud of mine totaled 2 350Z's already, so me thinks he needs to find himself different a vehicle with a bit more exterior heft(like maybe a 2009 Brinks armored truck, or a surplus, triple-plated Abrahms tank).

Yeah, I'd probably have fun talking with your dad, but I'm sure I couldn't hold a lick to his mechanical expertize, cause you put some serious tools in my hand & I can turn anything into a great big pile of hot steaming sh*t in 3 seconds flat.
And as all my mechanic'stell me, I truly am their "Saint" & savior, LOL

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @ 11:44:51 PM
Reply

Well, just checked out the 370Z's site & found some episodes of "Need for Speed;Takedown" there, very cool!

It looks like it's gonna be 1 hot car, but really not my style, people would take one look at this middle aged guy driving a 370Z & think that I'm just another guy in mid-life crisis....

"Ohhhh snap, I am in mid-life crisis"... but crap, I don't care, especially if I'm ever seen in that Bugatti!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 04, 2008 @ 3:44:34 PM

I say you're not in a "mid-life crisis" just 'cuz you want to have a little fun. ;) My father isn't ALLOWED to drive my car anymore, because he can't help himself...oh, how fast does it go 0-60? What's that top speed? Let's find out! Yeeeaaaah...that car's too fast for his mentality. LOL

Anyway, thanks again for signing up and posting. We can always use veteran gamers...and now I don't have to feel so old (no offense). haha

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BikerSaint
Friday, December 05, 2008 @ 3:58:24 PM
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Vroom, Vroom, I think I resemble your dad's same thinking.

(but I did slow down to a mere 80MPH when driving inside the old style circles.(or round-about's in Euro-speak) that N.J used to have.

Thinking back now, Whew....I'm just glad I never collected as many speeding tickets, as I did games, or I'd be doing more time than O.J. just got.

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Arkhon
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 @ 5:55:43 PM
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My dad is around fifty years old (he won't tell me) and he was the one who got me into gaming in the first place. The first time I played a video game was Unreal Tournament on the PC at one of the LAN parties he and his friends had every weekend. I think I was about 8 at the time...

I don't know anybody in my high school going into law. I know twenty people going into various sciences and me going to ITT Tech for an associate's in Software Applications and Programming. I'm glad to say I don't know many people like that, which is lucky because if I did, he would die. The police would arrive two hours later and find me still jumping up and down on his charred, eviscerated, and pee-stained corpse (not sure about that last part).

Last edited by Arkhon on 12/10/2008 5:59:06 PM

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Sol
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 @ 6:47:40 AM
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Man, even if I am quite a bit late I do so enjoy the stories of your life.

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