: Once Upon A Time, A Gamer's Waitress...

Members Login: Register | Why sign up? | Forgot Password?

Once Upon A Time, A Gamer's Waitress...

It's the return of my very personal "Once Upon A Time" series, due entirely to popular demand. For those of you who are unfamiliar, this began on a sudden whim late last year, when I decided to trust our excellent community with the retelling of a personal experience that I thought would be interesting. The response was amazing, so I continued it, and most of you probably know what came of it...quite the little adventure, but things have been quiet since.

So I was talking to Arnold last week, and I brought up the question of age regarding relationships. You guys will have to help me out too with your own opinions (what, you think I do this just for you?), so feel free to speak your mind. The reason I presented the question is because, now that I'm over 30, I'm starting to consider age difference for the first time in my life. So perhaps you may be asking, what prompted the consideration in the first place? Well, it stands to reason that if I go where most single people hang out (bars, clubs, etc.), I will typically find females that are a good deal younger than me. Now, I don't have any issue whatsoever with ladies in their mid-20s (uh, how could I?), but might they have an issue with me? I'm a man...I can handle bad news, so let it fly, if you must.

For the record, my last girlfriend - yep, the unwitting star of my previous editorial series - was only 24, so clearly, it's not an issue for every girl. But I'm starting to talk to girls where 30 is pretty much their "limit," and it's starting to worry me... It concerns me because when I encounter a supremely cute waitress who can't possibly be any older than 21 or 22, I balk at the romantic request. The good news is I've never really had any difficulty talking to women; that's not bragging, because a lot of times, I don't have enough sense to realize when I'm making a fool out of myself. But I never worry about talking to any of them, no matter how hot or supposedly intimidating they may be. What's the worst that can happen? Yeah, I make a fool of myself...oooooh, no, whatever am I going to do? Go home and hang myself? Really, who cares?

But for the first time, I hesitate talking to this girl, and it's entirely due to the age thing. Arnold tells me I'm over-thinking it - as I tend to do - and he's good at simplifying the issue to the point where I realize I should laugh at my overly complicated methods. But really, age does factor in somehow...doesn't it? It has to. Maybe it only alters what I have to say in regards to the opening line and first conversation. Maybe she wouldn't even guess that I'm that much older than her. Look, I've done this enough where I know for a fact that 32-year-old women and 22-year-old are very, very different, and you can't treat them both the same way. Thankfully, I've talked to enough where I have some experience with many ages, but now that I'm the one considering an age barrier...well, it's kinda freaking me out.

I'm human, not a demigod. No matter how much I've always wanted to be a character like Cloud (yep, still a nerd), I'm really not. LOL

2/21/2009 Ben Dutka

Put this on your webpage or blog:
Email this to a friend
Follow PSX Extreme on Twitter

Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Google Share on MySpace Share on Delicious Share on Digg Share on Google Buzz Share via E-Mail Share via Tumblr Share via Posterous

Comments (109 posts)

LegendaryWolfeh
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 11:30:21 PM
Reply

I'd had situations like that...only...the other way around XD both my girlfriends were older than me. And I would always think about it and be like ":( I wonder if she wishes I was older" cuz my current...kinda...ish... gf Also tells me she likes guys older then her and then i'm just left like.. "WTF?" so yeah. But I dunno Ben, I mean women do date superly old men lol all over the news =P so I don't think it's really a big deal, until...you're 40 =P

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

LegendaryWolfeh
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 11:30:51 PM

HAHAHAHAHA ps. FIRST XD epic lolz

Agree with this comment 0 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:04:47 PM

kinda ish, superlol.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

bigrailer19
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 11:48:13 PM
Reply

yea im with legendary until u encounter that woman or girl that makes u feel like ur too old id say the boundary is 40 even then if u got money your ok so... Hugh is doing great but hes legend so... and even when u do get hit with a curve ball and u swing and miss with one get back out there u still got 2 swings left if were speaking baseball but i wouldnt worry bout it unless a pattern turns up. do your thing Ben! (im obviously no love guru)
can i get back to my ps3 now! ;)

Last edited by bigrailer19 on 2/21/2009 11:50:00 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Dridion
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 11:49:49 PM
Reply

Srry for getting of topic but its comments like these:

http://gear.ign.com/articles/955/955499c.html#comments_top?p=5&s=ASC

and sites/posts like these:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/88145-PS3-Is-Dying-On-The-Shelves

that truly piss me off. WTF is wrong with the gaming community. Its as if the world was dominated by the xbot fanboys. These reasons made me, realize over the weekend, that it's true and ign is, most definitely, getting more gayer by the second. Every site except this one seems to down sony for unlegit reasons. What I can't seem to realize is WHY? Call me fanboy, but this is totally unacceptable. I just want to be the one to bask in the ambiance (with you all XD) of sony's triumphant comeback, as it's starting to happen already, so I can laugh in the faces of all the traitors who abandon Sony (that goes for the guys at ign as well). I have officialy made this site my home being that all the members here seem to have a brain and there isn't any place purer where you can find information at. Well enough of the rants. This was a little extreme. TO PSXEXTREME!!! FTW!!!

Agree with this comment 4 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Banky A
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:38:53 AM

TELL me about it.

I'd think people were starting to witness the sheer awesomeness of the PS3 but some are as arrogant as ever. I hate those people =D

I'd also like to think that many people just make fanboy accounts to have funny time with friends. That would be okay for me.

:(

Agree with this comment 4 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:12:46 PM

Mark my words my friend, after the 360 sinks and the PS3 is THE console to game with, all those haters will pretend they were on board the whole time. And when this happens, i will vomit and force them to eat it.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Joe_III
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 1:14:16 PM

quit whining. based on # consoles sold, attach rates, and just about every other possible factor, the 360 is winning. You really can't get past that fact.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 2 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 2:52:49 PM

Yeah but there's gonna be a tipping point in a little while man.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Akuma07
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 11:58:34 PM
Reply

im so glad im a decade away from this sort of thinking. =]

i can just kick back, and enjoy the scenery.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Banky A
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:47:13 AM

Me too.

=D

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:58:44 AM

Don't get too comfortable, young man. One day you're 19, just walking in the mall in you're band new kicks and flashy threads, catching eyes of hunnies, with not a worry in the world. The next day you wake, up, clothes faded, hair's thinner, pushing 40, and the hunnies walking around happen to be yesterday's hunnies' children.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:02:57 AM

Btw, I'm not 40, and I don't go to malls to gawk at young girls.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:14:07 PM

I'm 27 with the health problems of a 90 year old and rocking some kinda Grey white mans Afro, Aftab is right, take nothing for granted.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 10:05:28 PM

I know what problems you're talking about, WEWM. We both have relatively sedentary lifestyles (I'm in IT and you are a writer). So you have to make up for it with some kind of exercise regiment. Don't sweat it too much. 1 hour 3 days a week regularly should do just fine. Weights and cardio.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 10:29:31 PM

Oh, and what you eat starts to matter, too. Plenty of protein after workouts. Don't over do it on the carbs, and keep away from excessive caffeine and nicotine.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

infekt
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:29:46 AM
Reply

Age has nothing to do with finding the right girl. Do your thing and leave your worries behind. Though, you might want look elsewhere too. How about the library? Weddings? Gym? Girls at bars tend to be.. well.. I'm not going to get into that. Have faith bro. Its all in your head.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ZubraZap
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:50:00 AM
Reply

Age ain't nuthin' but a number!

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 1:15:41 AM

Well...no, I mean, yes...it is just a number. But that number tends to be inherently linked with a certain amount of wisdom. A 32 year old dating a 22 year old would demonstrate a large gap in wisdom and overall experience.

This is why it's considered a faux-pas for someone in their early 30s to date someone in their early 20s. But it's not a faux-pas when those numbers are 40 and 30. The playing field eventually levels out considerably the older you get - there's simply too large of a wisdom gap between a 20 year old, and a 30 year old.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Phoelix
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:47:49 AM

I agree with Arnold.

My girlfriend is about 3 months younger than me, so I'm right on the money. I think relationships are best whenever both parties grow together. I think this happens most often when the two halves are roughly on the same chapter of their lives.

However, I'm a believer that love can cross all boundaries. I don't there should be any hard-and-fast rules (other than the obvious respect of the other party, etc.) when it comes to a romantic relationship.

I would definitely look for someone else who's in the same milestone of life. Then again, sometimes the harder we look, the less likely we are to find.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:37:30 AM

Tis true. Though, depending on culture, that gap tends to narrow.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 8:45:36 AM

True, there is a wisdom difference. But, as the man in the relationship, you're expected to be the leader, thus the wiser party anyway. Therefore it makes sense for women to date older men. Now, if the woman is an idiot, that's a different thing all together. But, if she's simply inexperienced, it's perfect that she's with an older man that can provide guidance. And in my experience, women need lots and LOTS of guidance.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

aaronisbla
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:32:53 PM

most of my female friends are in relationships with older men, although they may say there is a wisdom gap, i do tend to think females can be wiser than their age will let on to. Same way how you still have some older guys who act like they are in their teenage years.

Ben at your age you can probably get more action from the 21yrs and slightly older crowd with no problems, they tend to go for older guys, you would be surprised. Weddings, church ( if thats your kinda thing ), parks, grocery stores amongst others are also good places to meet some. Gotta love a women who wants to eat healthy, i see so many of them in the produce section at grocery stores

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 12:35:25 AM

Phoelix: "Then again, sometimes the harder we look, the less likely we are to find."

I'm a firm believer in that. It's why I don't look so often...and no, it's not a dodge. LOL ;)

Troy: I'd rather not have a woman who needs "guidance." I really can't stand that. I want someone who is secure in who they are, who doesn't need constant advice and vindication; I just love firm independence in a woman. You know?

aaron: Well, yes and no. I do tend to get a lot of attention from the 21-year-olds, but it's typically only for one reason. ...not that that's a BAD thing, per se; I'm just saying. :)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

laxpro2001
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 1:35:42 AM
Reply

Ben I love these personal editorials... gives us more of an insight on who you are...

Anyways on topic... I do feel to most people age makes a difference. One of my friends asked me how old I would consider (me being 19) and at first I said 32... but after her reaction and some thinking I realized that I wanna grow old with this person (not the only reason of course) I'm going to have to aim lower.

I ended up setting 24-25 as my limit.

Also Ben... when you say you are a nerd for liking Cloud, I think you are mistaken. A nerd is someone who is extremely smart, while a geek is someone who is really into the videogames and what not.

Not saying you can't be both though as it seems like you are ;)

Last edited by laxpro2001 on 2/22/2009 1:38:03 AM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 12:38:10 AM

Well, I think we all have our own definitions of "nerd" and "geek." Let's just say I'm a nerd that fits the mental label but not the physical one. LOL

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Vivi_Gamer
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 2:43:38 AM
Reply

Top of the range gaming news *****/*****

Agree with this comment 0 up, 2 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:18:15 PM

please... man... with the trolling...

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aerifale
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:21:38 AM
Reply

The girls are'nt all that gr8 in ireland lol
plus i seem to have a problem where i end up being stuck in the "just a friend" stage *sigh*
guess i shudn't get too down, around here u basically get the girl for the nite an move on next day (i just realised how bad that sounds lol) thankfully gaming has become very mainstream now (at least here anyway) saying i'm a gamer seems to just pass over as girls head. is it the same for u guys or do they still refer to gaming as a hobby for nerds? :)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Godslim
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:48:55 AM

ahhh the friend zone....its not a nice place lol

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:28:09 AM

Nah mate. Irish lasses are just fine. There's a good deal of variety for a small country, plus, and on average, they got more modesty, too. Regarding the friends-zone problem, trick is to keep a little distance, and a little indifference.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:34:25 AM

And regardng vgames, I feel they've become more mainstream everywhere. Even playing a portable, like a psp, I usually feel more self conscious, but ironically, riding the train, or at a coffee house, I get even more passes from girls as if it's like an attention struggle for them. Wierd. Am I only the one who feels that way?

Last edited by Aftab on 2/22/2009 5:38:03 AM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

The Stig
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:48:43 AM
Reply

Unless you always want to date girls in their 20s as you get older this will become more difficult. But generally speaking women tend to date men that are older than them. If you being in your 30s is an issue to a girl then she is probably too immature for you anyway. Like someone said earlier age is just a number, dont let it effect your confidence.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

Im The Man
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:53:22 AM

No but just like arnold said in response to that "age is just a number statement" a certain amount of wisdom comes with that number. So no its not just a number.

Last edited by Im The Man on 2/22/2009 11:55:37 AM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

aaronisbla
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:35:30 PM

But the wisdom with age isn't always true, at least here in chicago it isn't. You have some females that will always act the way they act, no matter how much older they get, sometimes it takes them having a kid for them to wise up

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

The Stig
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:29:32 PM

Im The Man, maybe wisdom does come with age but not always. I know girls in their 20s that are more mature than girls I know in their 30s. So age is just a number. Example, being 17 gives you the right to drive but does not always mean you are mature enough to do so.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Im The Man
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:50:59 PM

well im just speaking from percentages but in those cases yeah thats true sometimes.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 4:59:43 AM
Reply

"I've never really had any difficulty talking to women; that's not bragging, because a lot of times, I don't have enough sense to realize when I'm making a fool out of myself. But I never worry about talking to any of them, no matter how hot or supposedly intimidating they may be. What's the worst that can happen? Yeah, I make a fool of myself"

YES!!!.....that's just me.I don't give a crap whatever happens when i approach a girl,whether am humiliated,snobbed or not,i don't give a sh**!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:48:01 AM
Reply

I've noticed girls tend to gravitate to their older counterparts. Plus, being older, Idk if it's got to do with the inner bull being more tamed or what, but I've found that I've had more ease with girls and women in general as I've gotten older.

You don't want to get stuck "baby sitting", at the same time, too old is not good for biology. But either way, numerical age shouldn't be too much of a criteria, as maturity or readiness is a hard thing to actually measure.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:05:04 AM
Reply

But, to Ben, I'm right there with you. I had a similar shocking catharsis recently, but it's more of pain for me. Why? Because I'm not a strapping, big guy. I actually look like I'm 18, 21 max, save with a beard, which means I tend to only attract young girls, or older mamas, which sucks, either way.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:51:29 AM
Reply

These posts just remind me that I have been alone for the past three years, and I'm only 20 .

p.s. - how is my new nickname .

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Random_Steve
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:30:23 AM

its great, although, tbh, i cant remember your old one

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:00:37 PM

It was shak_44 .

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:19:03 PM

try one of these:
mister shak
boy shak
don shak
shatta shak

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:39:58 PM

My friends used to call me Sir Shak in school . It's a rip-off of Sir Shrek .

My real name is Shakti .

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:42:10 PM

Kaali ma! Shakti day! Kaali ma! Kaali maaaa!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:25:29 PM

I don't follow any religion , my late grandpa gave me the name . Where are you from ?

Last edited by Sir Shak on 2/22/2009 10:29:45 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:23:00 PM

HAHA Indiana Jones ftw.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:31:08 PM

oh.... I didn't get the reference at first , sad that guy is dead , was a pretty good actor .

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 11:34:23 PM

You got it, WEWM! Not bad! And don't worry, Shakti, the "filam" is quite old. Likan, apko Hindi samaj atiyea?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 @ 3:37:08 PM

haan

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

tramp
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 7:15:55 AM
Reply

i dont think it really matters and i would say it's more the other way,with women doing more worring.but im only 17 so i can only aim older or it's against so many laws:D

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 8:40:24 AM
Reply

Arnold is right. You're over-thinking it. Age is a factor to some women. To most women it isn't. I'm 31 myself (will be 32 in April), and I absolutely refuse to date any woman over the age of 25. I happen to love music and dancing, so I club a lot. Which means I meat a lot of younger women. If a woman gets to know you, likes you, and THEN finds out that you're older than men she would normally date, one of two things will happen. First scenario is that she won't care because she likes you. Second is that despite the fact that she likes you, she'll decide your age prevents things from going further. In this case, she's a flake anyway, and she's doing you a favor. Anywayz, that's only happened to me once, and the girl still calls me all the time to hang out, and we've gotten physical once.

TL:DR - Age isn't a factor to any woman that's worth dealing with anyway. It's all about how you make her feel.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:04:03 AM

Don't you have a daughter?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:09:50 AM

I do.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:25:42 AM

I just realized that I said I "absolutely refuse" to date women over 25, then followed that up by saying any woman who won't date a man of a certain age BECAUSE of his age is a flake. :D

In my defense, last year I did date briefly one woman who was 27, and another who was 32. So, I will break that rule for women who seem to be really cool. But, I've regretted the last two times I broke it, thus my current "absolute refusal," which, admittedly, probably isn't so absolute.

But, you get my meaning.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:02:17 PM

Yes, I do, but your daughter's like 2 years old, right?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Im The Man
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:12:52 PM

whoa aftab what are you getting at?

Agree with this comment 1 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:19:09 PM

Aftab don't you have a son?..........lol!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

Im The Man
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:38:11 PM

LOL!

Last edited by Im The Man on 2/22/2009 12:39:21 PM

Agree with this comment 1 up, 1 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:51:07 PM

She's 4.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

moose88
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:54:33 PM

I'm wondering if Troy meant to write 'meat a lot of younger women" instead of 'meet' :)

Around here we say, "You're only as old as the women you feel!"

But now I have 2 daughters ... note to self: Join the local gun club ;)

Anyhoo, I married the girls of my dreams and she's 8 years younger than me and we're a perfect match.

Ben, when it comes to age, just go with the song from The Sound of Music: "...You need someone older and wiser, telling you what to doooo!" hehe

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Aftab
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 7:05:34 PM

Come on y'all. I know this is all open to see, but I'm talking to Troy (www, I got no kids of my own, though I got plenty of nieces and nephews). So Troy, what I was getting is at, especially with you falling in the same age range as Ben and myself, and going through that big milestone of your first child at 27, is don't you ever get a little tired of it all, and just want to settle down?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 7:29:34 PM

Nope.

I was married for a little while. It was cool. Not to say that I wouldn't do it again, but it's not high on my list of priorities. If I meet (spelled it right this time) a woman that's friggin' spectacular and we hit it off, sure, I'd do it again. Until then, it's the single life for me.

But, I'm guessing if I had never been married, it'd be higher on my "to do" list.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

chaosrunner
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 8:42:01 AM
Reply

With one exception, every woman I've been at all involved with has been at least a couple of months older than me, so I haven't had a whole lot of time to form an opinion on this. But I think a lot of it depends more on where someone is in their life versus their age.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

HighLife
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:06:25 AM
Reply

When my wife and I first met it was on her 21st birthday and I was very close to 30. We just hit it off with age never being a question between us, but her parents on the other hand were not real sure about her dating someone almost 9 years older. When we met neither one of us was looking for someone to start a relationship with.

I had dated women with various ages and for the most part it was all fun, but you do different things with a 20 yo than you do with a 40 yo.

Good Luck and keep your eyes open you never know where you may meet the right woman. Just try not to be the male version of Anna Nichole.


Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

mastiffchild
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:24:50 AM
Reply

MY dad gave me a bit of advice when I was younger about just this kind of thing(shame the old perv couldn't stick to it and ran off with a girl younger thaqn me but still):He said that you were ok with any girl who is too old to actually be a reakl life daughter. This should allow you to date girls up to about 12 years your junior Ben(obviously depending on their personal maturity as in my experience a couple of the 20 year olds I dated have been as screwed on as the polder ladies I've had the pleasure of knowing well)and stop you over thinking anything as you'll have the cut off number handy.
I know people say that age is only a number and I'm very lucky to look much younger than I am and haven't yet started even thinking about baldness but to have a rough guide is priceless. People, trust me, look at men with women much younger than them as perverts of some kind whatever the situation that led to you getting together.
Over 30 means little(neither does over 40, as long as you stick to my simple rule!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Scarecrow
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:09:49 AM
Reply

Ben is my hero......

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

GuernicaReborn
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:25:59 AM
Reply

Ben, I'd love to comment on the whole age thing, but I really don't have any experience with it. I'm not 30 yet(I still have 6 years), and I've only had 4 or 5 girlfriends. I've been with the current one for 4 years. I've lived with her for almost a year, and we're getting engaged soon.

All I can tell you is that you can't let an age difference bother you. Each and every girl is different, and you all you need to do is find out if she's interested or not. If a girl likes you, she likes you, age won't make a difference to her. Therefore, it shouldn't matter to you either.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Robochic
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:23:19 AM
Reply

Age doesn't matter. I met my husband at a previous job i was 21 he was 18. He made me laugh, he was very confident and knew what he wanted. I've been married to him for almost 5 years and he still makes me laugh.
I think girls are just not seeing Ben for you, keep you're eyes wide open it wil be funny where you meet the right woman.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:35:36 PM

yea i reach orgasm quickly with older girls.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

N a S a H
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:49:42 PM

www, that's really crude.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ps92117
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:37:36 PM

wow www you are certainly open bout stuff.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 12:08:38 AM

We didn't need to hear that , without pics I mean .

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 4:29:43 AM

Robchic is a good friend of mine.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

King James
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:57:39 AM
Reply

Ben, I think u are kinda over thinking it. I'm 22, but I've always had gf's older than me. I blame it on my late birthday. I was usually the youngest in skool.

Anyways, of course the age factor does come into to play with women, but I think its no different from religion, race, nationality, etc. They can all be easily overshadowed by YOU.

If Jay-Z can do it, you can to.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:33:09 PM

Beyonce is young n confused,Jay-Z is only taking advantage with his old self.

I bet if another star was to approach Beyonce first n shown all the luv,that star coulda won her a long time ago.

Beyonce's situation is that kind of situation where a girl is soooo pretty,all the guys are scared to approach n one brave guy steps up and asks her out,and he wins regardless if he's broke & ugly.....cause he came first.

Seriously how many stars approached Beyonce?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Troy Powers
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:44:01 PM

How 'bout Jay-Z is just cool as hell? Not to mention filthy rich and a master of his trade? I don't think he got Beyonce just because no one else would approach her. I think he got Beyonce because hes the man!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:37:56 PM

I hear u, I was the youngest kid class, wasn't cool when it came to my power hour for drinking.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

THEVERDIN
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 1:00:16 PM
Reply

One word Eharmony. Good Luck!!!!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Reccaman18
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 1:43:24 PM

dating sites dont work. why the hell would you pay money to find someone, when you can just go out somewhere and do it for free? 40 bucks a month is a rip off, especially if you dont find anyone. Its just throwing money away.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:39:33 PM

I feel like a BIG LOSER dating online,not my cup of tea,like Reccaman said,it's free on the outside.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:38:44 PM

Dunno dude, my oldass uncle found his second wife on eharmony and shes much better than the first.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

tlpn99
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 2:54:01 PM
Reply

Anyow Ben regardless of the post you just put up which I am sure I will read eventually, does this mean you wont be putting up as is the norm your regular Ben's Week in review ? Man I like myself like many others looked forward to this regular spot each week, remember the week it did not get posted and the site was in uproar! Where was ben, What is up with Ben etc ? Why isn't he posting his usual weekly personal gaming update etc etc

If you can't post that, is there any chance Arnold could post his personal gaming update or John even lol ?

Like today for instance, I had 5 mins to boot up my PC and log onto something on the net as I was due out and thought I'll read ben's week in review later. So I downloaded my e mails, deleted what was crap etc and kept the others to read for later on when I am back home etc.

Few hours later I come home to find no Bens week in review :(

Please post a personal game review if possible sometime during the week. Even if you just say nothing new to post guys I am still getting the etc levels on such and such a game.

I am sure one will be posted next week as Killzone 2 will be out then and Halo Wars if you are planning to play that.

This weekend for us in Uk was what Streetfighter 4 (which is getting traded in myself as I think it is crap to be honest and the Sega Megadrive Classics, which is being kept)

Cheers Ben for always keeping us informed :)

Last edited by tlpn99 on 2/22/2009 3:09:35 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:16:01 PM

Yea i also like the "Ben's week in review".
Arnold's weekly review coulda been cool,but you shoulda noticed he's more of a gamer than a writer.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:12:23 PM
Reply

Hey.....our generous writer chose a waitress over his weekly "week in review".....great!
*This isn't sarcasm*.....Really,a gamer needs to get laid from time to time,playing games is not an easy task!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

tlpn99
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:19:11 PM

Has Ben found a new coffee shop to go to before work then do you think ? lol :)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

tlpn99
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:16:51 PM
Reply

Ben in reply to your post when I am out my mates are always telling me to calm it down etc or whatever if I wanna try pulling etc. I personally do not care I am myself when I am out with the lads.

If I see a girl I like in the bar I go up to her if I am interested and try to talk to her no cheesy lines, no cheesy stuff whatsoever. I am me and if no one likes that then tough lol.

By the way I am 34, be 35 in April. As long as your not being a T*t when out with your buds you can come away quite normal when approaching a girl etc. In reply to your question does age matter, then that would depend on the age of the girl your trying to talk/chat up to would be if you were my age and she turned out to be 16 then yeah your way over the age odds. If she is mid twenties and your mid thirties then thats fine go for it!

Last edited by tlpn99 on 2/22/2009 3:18:27 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Alienange
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 3:23:20 PM
Reply

Sorry Ben, not as interesting as throwing lawyers into trees lol! And if I can say something... these "girls where 30 is pretty much their limit." Why would you give a rats ass about what they think? Since when does an over thirty guy give two hoots about a twenty year old's opinion? Take a look around my friend, there are women 28 and over who are the hottest things on this planet.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

karneli lll
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:33:37 PM

Nail on the head as always Alienange

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 3:23:33 PM

Oh, I know. I'm just saying; the majority of single women I meet are younger, that's all. I have no problem whatsoever with women my age or slightly older.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Dridion
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:33:53 PM
Reply

Everyone all ready said it, age really is nothing but a number. Its all about mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter but than again this whole post is because you mind so I guess this is useless =D


[url=http://www.playfire.com/a/widget_click/1/Dridion][img]http://pfcdn.net/site/trophy_widget/psn/Dridion.png[/img][/url]
[url=http://www.playfire.com/a/create_widget]PS3 Trophies[/url]

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

N a S a H
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:52:50 PM
Reply

I think that people put too much thought into age but it does matter... This is really ironic but I JUST watched "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" and it taught me something about age. It taught me that age doesn't matter but it has to be the right time for BOTH people. I never realized this but Age and Time are really, two different things. Good luck Ben!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Victor321
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 6:55:07 PM
Reply

Nice article Ben! However, where is the "Ben's week in review" article? I love them! Unless this is the week in review article...which I don't think it isn't....

Last edited by Victor321 on 2/22/2009 6:55:25 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Scarecrow
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 7:24:02 PM
Reply

If it was me I wouldn't care how old she is.

Though depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for like possible marriage then I'd think 'bout it seriously and probably ditch her if she isn't smart.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

LightShow
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 7:54:15 PM
Reply

I always take the cavalier approach. try to take the romantic approach, but if she's like "ew, this guy is OLD" then back off and let that be the end of it.

it's not like worrying about if the girl has an issue with your age will change her stance on it; if she thinks you're too old, shes gonna reject you whether or not you get all bent outta shape wondering if she will

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Shatterday
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 8:00:06 PM
Reply

Haha... Ben loled.

Anyway! Age is sometimes an issue. Although there are a lot of people who have strict age limits it's not always personal preference. I'm only 19 and the oldest girl who I hang out with and talk to regularly is 22, just to put things into perspective. A lot of girls I've known are afraid of older guys because of past experiences and how they were kind of brought up to stay away from stangers and... well, older dudes are creepy, right?

But as far as you having a problem with age, I think what you really need to work on is being a good judge of maturity.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 1:01:21 AM

Oh, I can judge maturity in a matter of seconds...that has never been an issue. :)

Unfortunately, my analysis leaves me depressed with so many 21 and 22-year-olds. LOL

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:28:40 PM

Love is overrated and the most exhausted tool for getting someone to do something .

Last edited by Sir Shak on 2/22/2009 10:31:16 PM

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ps92117
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:34:46 PM
Reply

fortunately I don't have this issue, any younger be illegal, so don't have much to say, only that if things go well than you should forget the rest. If you are able to have fun without thinking bout it than you are in the right place.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Orvisman
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 9:44:46 PM
Reply

Age is just a state of mind!

Until I married my wife (going on two years this May, together for four years), who is 12 years my junior (she was 26 when we married, I was 38; when we met she was 24 and I was 36), I dated women as young as 21 and as old as 30, so I never experienced any age barrier.

I guess that it doesn't hurt that I look much younger and that I take care of myself and exercise regularly. Most people assume I'm 28-30.

The two previous ladies I dated were:

A 21-year-old NYU journalism student in the U.S. from Brazil, who I met when she was the coat-check girl at a local Italian Bistro in my town; and

A 26-year-old Irish lass who I met at the Midtown Manhattan office of the New York Newspaper Guild when I was there for contract negotiations (I'm an executive officer of my company's NYNPG unit council, think shop steward.).

Fortunately, I had/have a lot in common with all three.

Besides, it is common knowledge that women mature at an earlier age than us guys Ben. So, your being older would just put you on equal footing with a younger honey! ;)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 1:00:34 AM

That's good to know. Success amongst varied ages in relationships...at least it's possible, right?

:)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Orvisman
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 9:43:27 AM

Yep!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Sir Shak
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:50:13 PM
Reply

Lots of married people on this site .

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

somethingrandom
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:25:12 PM
Reply

Ben, don't worry about it. One of my grandfathers is around 70 and he married my step-grandmother who is around 50. To solve any confusion, both of my biological grandmothers died before I was born, and my step-grandmother also came along before I was born.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:29:33 PM
Reply

You guys have had some good stuff, and I've always been cougar-meat so I may not be the best to ask so I won't wax intellectual on the subject, I'll just say this: It's funny you bring up Cloud, didn't his mother say something along the lines of "You need an older woman, one that can take care of you." And shazam, Aeris was older ;)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:33:17 PM
Reply

I'll take the time to respond to some of you individually, but I've got to get to some news, so give me a bit...

As for the Week in Review, don't worry, that'll be back next week. If I do "Once Upon A Time" pieces in the future, they'll be on Friday nights; the Week in Review will always be up for Sunday. :)

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Joe_III
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 1:15:04 PM
Reply

@ben

The only rule for dating ages: if there's grass on the field, play ball.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 3:22:51 PM

LOL

I like it.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Leave a Comment

Please login or register to leave a comment.

Our Poll

Did Destiny live up to your expectations?
Yes it did and then some!
Not quite but it's still great.
No, it's only okay.
Not at all; it's a huge disappointment.

Previous Poll Results