Does Gaming Affect Your Social Life?
View Large ImageIt's a question no gamer wants to ask another gamer, as he's often afraid of the answer. However, although we all recognize just how mainstream the hobby has become over the past few decades, the question is just as relevant as ever.
What would be interesting to know is if an avid gamer would be willing to sacrifice an evening out to play his new title. Over the years, I've realized that certain stereotypes simply don't die; even though most will acknowledge that gaming doesn't automatically translate to "geek-dom," they still think that gamers have out-of-whack priorities. They will freely accept your chosen hobby and won't make nearly as many assumptions as they used to back in the day, but why do so many people believe that only one thing matters in a gamer's life? Certain minorities don't make the situation any better, either: a buddy I know works with a girl who is married to an EverCrack addict, and for the most part, it's a non-existent marriage. Unfortunately, for the uninitiated, they don't see any difference between that dude and me (for example). Hell, I work as a video game journalist so I must be even worse, right?
I think that's the problem I'm running into more often than not. "All gamers are nerds" is almost extinct, but many still refuse to make any distinctions in the gaming crowd. I still don't start off conversations with my job because of this, and not surprisingly, when I do make it known to my discussion partner, they seem downright shocked. And it's not always because I don't fit the so-called "mold" - like I said, the nerd/gamer association is dying out, thankfully - but more so because I'm there, talking to them. Wouldn't I rather be home playing my favorite game? There's nothing wrong with that, they may add, but they just figured the big gamers did that. Now, I have been known to sacrifice time out-of-doors to play a game, but it's not often; it often revolves around the weather and the nature of the "out-of-doors." If it involves people I have no interest in, why torture myself just so I can say I was "out?" I'm too old to deal with adolescent priorities that put "appearance" at the top of the list.
Did I skip college parties to play Final Fantasy Tactics? Yep. Did I avoid the club on a freezing, snowy night to play Prince of Persia? Yes, I did. However, have I ever said "no" to doing something social I wanted to do so I could stay home and play? Nope. Perhaps that's the real question: is gaming keeping you from doing things you would otherwise do? Socially? And if you're older, has it changed? Did you do this at one point, but don't do it any longer? I'd be interested to see the responses.
4/10/2009 Ben Dutka
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Comments (60 posts)
Jackyl
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 7:22:01 PM
But then again some people use it as a crutch. Thinking they don't have a social life so they might as well just play video games instead of trying to put themselves out there. Going to a bar, club, paintball, whatever might perk your interests.
I admittedly don't have much of a social life. For me it was enough to just interact with my fiance at home and play my video games when she's doing her own thing. But it is a funny coincidence (with this article) that lately I've been craving more social interactions.
Recently I went out to a nice local bar/grill and rather than sitting at a table, I saddled up at the bar to enjoy a beer and some really good food. I wasn't expecting to but before the night was through I was making jokes and having fun with a bunch of total strangers.
This week I'm looking at checking out this bar with, instead of a karaoke night, a Rock Band night. I think I'm bound to meet some fun people there.
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shadowpal2
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 10:27:44 PM
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But it really depends on the game. I know that when I get my hands on FF Versus XIII...I will talk about it with few people...but never play with another person since FF Versus XIII is more of a solo kind of game...most RPGs are.
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WorldEndsWithMe
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 10:33:06 PM
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I will go out if it seems fun or I could meet girls, but like you said why torture yourself to say "oh I went out" Like I'm home tonight and it's friday, well there isn't anything to do ya know. But I'm going out tomorrow because I'm positive it will be a good time, and if I come away with a phone number yay for me.
As far was age goes, yeah the closer I get to 30 the more I appreciate a comfy chair, a big TV, and my free time when nobody needs me except my faithful canine companion, a coca cola, and maybe a sweet game.
Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 4/10/2009 10:38:06 PM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 10:48:46 PM
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JofaMang
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 2:23:44 AM
I turn 30 in about 2 weeks, and I have noticed a shift in my priorities, though to be fair, getting married was the biggest of those. We are both gamers, which works well, but we both lost interest in the MMO style game not long after getting married. Console gaming gives the right range of fix depending on what I am looking for.
Now it is more about playing a game I can fit into my schedule, instead of finding a schedule I could fit around my gaming (being a regular raider in EQ required a lot of social sacrifice). It seems console developers have gotten good at designing their titles for a range of playtimes and styles, and most new AAA titles find use in my entertainment centre, whether it be for 15mins or 3 hours.
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Banky A
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 4:48:57 AM
Isn't it fascinating how life unfolds?
=D
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JofaMang
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 1:40:23 PM
To say that MMOs are anti-social is a bit of a conundrum, since thriving in an MMO environment is a VERY social thing. On a daily basis, I would interact with dozens of acquaintances, not coworkers or neighbours, but people I had gotten to know fairly well through the game.
I guess my point is that the definition of being a "social person" has, and still is changing with technology and each generations interpretations of how to use it.
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MadKatBebop
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 11:02:15 PM
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Oyashiro
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 11:35:52 PM
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Last edited by Oyashiro on 4/10/2009 11:36:12 PM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 12:55:28 AM
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Alienange
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 2:19:35 AM
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JasperLoons
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 11:39:16 PM
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sunspider13
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 11:52:04 PM
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But if there's nothing to do and if a game just came out I want to play, then hey, cold water, a cancer stick, and my joystick and we're good to go.
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ThugNificent101
Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 11:53:20 PM
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Like tonight for instance, I went out with some friends instead of playing games simply because i was interested in associating with some people and having a bit of fun in the process (good hearted fun ;)) and it was well worth it.
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twenty8nine
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 12:41:37 AM
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Common Cence
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 12:42:13 AM
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Back when I was a younger games used to be my social life in my elementary days I was so used to being a manipulative little kid that I rarely received any form of rejection not from friends not from adults, as I grew older I started becoming more and more afraid of rejection and to some extent I still am somewhat afraid. I played games back then day and night and I felt the more I played the more I lost the chance to actually learn how to socialize. Gaming was the only way I felt "safe" so yes I used to skip any outings with a game even if it seemed interesting to me at the time.
No because after my sophomore year I look at myself in the mirror and I promised myself I would change, I wanted the name calling to stop so by my Junior year I found myself a group of gamers/musicians and although I wasn't a musician 2 of the 5 used to be some of my elementary friends so it was an easy transition, eventually I grew more and more confident and now I have quite an amount of friends.
Now if I buy a new game I would play it the moment I get a chance but anytime my group or my other friends have an outing that is what I'll go to first I enjoy the changes I have made with myself and eventually I believe the fear of rejection would diminish between little to none
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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 12:59:46 AM
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JasperLoons
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 1:16:37 AM
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Scarecrow
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 1:16:49 AM
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On the other hand, have made many cool friends through gaming!
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slackernz
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 2:05:46 AM
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Last edited by slackernz on 4/11/2009 2:07:05 AM
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Alienange
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 2:32:11 AM
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Belazor
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 4:35:15 AM
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And the fact that if I came back home from spending a night out with mates, the dragon (A.K.A. "mom") would give me the Gestapo 3rd degree :p
I swore to myself when I started playing WoW (been clean ever since Jan 2009 and have no abstinences) that I'd never let it or any other game affect any form of relationship, and I intend to keep that promise for the future.
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Banky A
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 4:54:46 AM
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Only my attitude and personality can affect 'my' social life.
Which is kinda' bad because my personality is a bit too unique for the 'cool' crowd that I recently was (still am) a part of.
>=]
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Banky A
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 5:00:03 AM
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Gaming has done too much for me, Final Fantasy VII taught me how to speak/read English when I came to NZ ;)
I shan't let it go =D
Now it's giving me the pleasure to listen to some of the most refreshing and beautiful music that no pop song on TV can ever pleasure me to hear (did that make sense?). As inspiration for my music career.
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Random_Steve
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 6:04:16 AM
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Skatejimmy5
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 7:16:24 AM
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darthLegion
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 7:38:55 AM
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dveisalive
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 8:45:06 AM
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rjmacready
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 8:47:40 AM
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If there's something social to do with my friends, or if the wife and I go out, of course I'll go do that, and I'll have a good time. More times than not though, I love staying home, spending time with them, watching sports, and playing the Playstation. Fun fun!
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dante_zero
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 8:59:08 AM
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In response to the question you pose, i found in previos console generations it has been more of a solo experience and found my self not going out as much because i to wasent interested in doing certain activitys and would gareentee more fun was to be had with the final fantasy series. However this generation i find myself wanting to play games online more and more as it seems to have become a social activity. Alot of my friends who live a distance away from me now use there PS3s to catch up with me and do social gaming things.
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Robochic
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 9:49:07 AM
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The older i get the more i just want to sit back relax and enjoy a good game or movie.
I do go out a lot with my son to the park and stuff like that but once he's in bed and my daughter is too it's me time and i don't feel like going out. When it comes to family activities I NEVER say No even when i really don't want too, family is forever.
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 10:32:16 AM
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It seems a lot of people will say, "well, yeah, I did avoid social things to play games when I was younger, but now..."
I think the bottom line is that...well, we all have to grow up at some point. Heh. Not like that's going to stop me from playing games; I'm just saying.
Last edited by Ben Dutka PSXE on 4/11/2009 10:32:35 AM
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dante_zero
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 10:41:07 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 10:51:41 AM
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www
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 6:37:28 PM
All my dudes drink.
I remember one time i was late to the drinking party,my friends asked "what will you take" and am like "bottled water",they were astonished,the next minute i saw others ordering the same bottled water,how influential i can be.
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TheUglyBassist
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 12:59:22 PM
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tlpn99
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 2:27:09 PM
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Anyhow I would have gone tonight but with the exception of a few things
1) I have no money to get there and back via taxi, I spent todays money while watching the footy (soccer) in the pub.
2) The new epsiode of Dr Who and Red Dwarf are on tonight and I cannot trust our recorder to record them as they are both broken but work fine manually. There is no one else in the house to use the recorder so I said sod it im staying it, money plus 2 of my fave shows are on tv. Good enough reason for me to stay in.
If I had the money I may have gone later.
Sometimes money can be a factor. Plus I wouldnt drive anyway if I had a car as then I wouldnt be able to drink. So driving there is a none option too.
As a kid I grew up on my games I hardly ever went out but as I got older I did go drinking with mates etc and to a few parties etc so for me the answer is as you get older you get comfortable with being at home in your nice comfy chair, few drinks in the fridge be it alcohol or soft drinks and some nibbles. I go out when I can but after a few hours I start thinking about heading home.
I still game. The majority of my spare time is spent on gaming unless I am watching a tv show or a film. I do go out but always return to my gaming.
A few of my friends too have fallen off the radar/map as they are married and some have kids too. We still get together when we can but it's not like when your single you can see your mates every night. :)
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LightShow
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 4:25:08 PM
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caddillac
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 4:30:56 PM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 5:11:30 PM
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Gregory Freeman
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 12:07:30 AM
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Deleted User
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 5:21:59 PM
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BTW, those guys who play on that other console, it doesn't affect theirs, either. Spending all day online talking on their mics IS their social life.
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ShamRock
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 6:34:30 PM
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Dogswithguns
Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 8:15:30 PM
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Gregory Freeman
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 12:06:14 AM
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"I don't need to GET A LIFE, I am a gamer, I Have Many Lives."
lol
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fundando
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 3:04:54 AM
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Robertson99
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 7:27:18 AM
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Naga
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 8:35:19 PM
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But if I had purchased an new game I wouldn't went out if it wasn't important to me
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KevinCairo
Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 9:23:56 PM
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The big problem these days is that social life, school, and work get in the way of gaming. Work mornings, school all day, skatepark and/or gym in the evening, homework/habitual internet (rss feeds, social networking), bed.
I hate the lack of time, but summer's almost here!
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smileys_007
Monday, April 13, 2009 @ 9:32:21 AM
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BikerSaint
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 @ 12:55:07 AM
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My motto's "F*ck The World if they can't take a joke".
Anyways after working, running my club, & forever hunting down used games & VHS/DVD movies for my collections, I've got enough to keep me home & happy the rest of my life.
Hell, I'll even bet that I've got more than enough movies & games to keep my ass occupied, doing imitations of a glorified couch potato till the year 4317.
Last edited by BikerSaint on 4/14/2009 12:57:56 AM
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Vargur
Monday, April 18, 2011 @ 10:10:00 AM
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Now me i play a mmorpg, i play it alot and almost everyday, but i still spend time with my famaly and enjoy going out with freinds, but i live in a small town were all everyone wants to do is drink and then drink somore and im not into that so yea.. i chose to stay in and play my game, and asfar as im concerned im pretty social, i have a group of ppl who im always talking to in vent or something like that. ontop of that my girlfreind enjoys mmorpg's as well so we get together for game nights at 1 of our houses and get a few ppl over and have a blast.
i guess it all depends on what you call social.. if social is going out and getting wasted until you cant remember who you made out with and why ur in ur front yard naked then thats your call, but in my honest opinion, being social is having fun with freinds doing something u all enjoy and will hopfully remember tomorow..
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Morals
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Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 10:24:28 PM