: Editorial: A Breach Of Dating Etiquette?

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Editorial: A Breach Of Dating Etiquette?

Well, this is a new one.

First of all, if you're wondering about the pic, I'm trying to avoid this situation. If I do end up in this sad predicament, it'll probably be due to the fact that I didn't handle the conundrum correctly. As some of you know, I went out with this chick - the one who just found my job to be so very novel and exotic - and she's the same one who loved LittleBigPlanet. If you need a refresher course, check the Special Features and find the last couple of editorials I did (that aren't Week in Reviews). The subject's fictional name is Ms. Courtney, but now, there's another name: we'll call her Ms. Amy. Ms. Courtney and I will probably go out again tomorrow night; it will mark the second official date, and I figure things are progressing normally. Ms. Amy is one of Ms. Courtney's friends; one of the girls I met in the first editorial ("Stuns Gal Crowd"). Two hours ago, Ms. Amy calls me...

One might assume she called to find out how the first date went with her friend. It's a little forward and perhaps stepping over an invisible gal-pal line, but I've certainly seen it done before. But Ms. Courtney goes unmentioned and Ms. Amy is just talking to me like we've been old friends for years. For the first minute or so, I really had no clue who it was; when I found out, I hadn't the slightest idea how to respond. Things got foggier when she asked if I wanted to get a drink at a club at midnight tonight. ...what world am I living in? What's going on? I just talked to Arnold, and he believes it may be a test, which is a fair assumption and one I have to consider. On the other hand, it could be exactly what it sounds like and if that's the case, I don't have a ghost of a chance of emerging from this mess unscathed. No matter how I approach it, I have a feeling I'll be the ultimate villain. So unfair. Seriously.

Anyway, as it's 12:04 a.m. right now, it's fairly obvious I didn't meet Ms. Amy for drinks. I just said it's short-notice and I'd have to take a rain check, but I appreciated the offer. I didn't mention her friend, Ms. Courtney, simply because I wasn't sure what the hell was going on. I suppose some of you will simply ask, "well, which one's hotter? Go with that one!" Eh, this is more complicated than that; like I said, it'll be difficult to come out of this without a scar or two. So as Arnold suggested, I think I'm going to call Ms. Courtney tomorrow and simply tell her what happened. If it's a test, I pass with flying colors. If it's not, I may unfortunately drive a wedge between two long-time friends (they went to college together), and there's not much I can do about that. But what happens afterwards...? Like I said, this is a first. And I don't like it. So, what do the readers think? I'm screwed, aren't I? :(

5/1/2009 Ben Dutka

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Comments (77 posts)

Phoelix
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:18:19 PM
Reply

Heh, you are screwed.

Maybe they're competing for you. Maybe she just wants to play LittleBigPlanet, too.

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Scarecrow
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:59:59 AM

Hah!

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Oyashiro
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:21:24 PM
Reply

I say good call on not taking her up on the offer. Never good to lie to a woman, they will always find out and then there will be hell to pay. All in all, I think your taking the right path.

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EddPm6
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:40:32 PM

yeah for sure not good to lie. sure if it was a test you passed. But if it wasnt i dont think its that bad that they get mad at each other. Because if your best friend is lying to you then they arent your best friend, are they? Especially when it comes to dating.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:23:28 PM

No lying. I don't do that.

Well...little WHITE lies...maybe. ;)

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Akuma07
Sunday, May 03, 2009 @ 12:39:47 AM

what about little black ones?

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The_R0gue_Ninja
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:22:01 PM
Reply

I think Arnold's assumption is reasonable, that Ms. Amy and Ms. Courtney set this up to test you.

There is no doubt in my mind that two girls, who are best friends, wouldn't give a guy a test like that. I think its pretty obvious... but that's just me.

Last edited by The_R0gue_Ninja on 5/1/2009 11:22:38 PM

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Reccaman18
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:25:29 PM
Reply

Not necessarily. Just play it smooth and I think you'll be fine. You might just be reading too much into this. Maybe all she wants is to see if you are right for her friend. I hope all goes well for you, though. Hang tough, Ben!

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The CEO
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:44:29 PM
Reply

You should have just told her you and a friend had plans but she was welcome to join the two of you to hang out. Then since a friend was with you he could have helped you scope the situation out without getting in trouble.Plus you could have explained it off as you were just trying to set your friend up with Amy lol. My guess is she was testing you though. I would tread lightly when you tell Courtney lol. You just have to love the deviousness of women whether she was testing you or hitting on you. Good Luck!

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superjew
Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 11:46:27 PM
Reply

Tell her you're interested in Courtney and that you don't think it's a good idea. I think you'll be screwed if you tap dance around it because if they're playing games with you that's a lot of BS to deal with after one date. I can't even imagine how annoying it's going to be if this goes somewhere.

Be straightforward with Courtney, tell her what happened. Oh, and, it's just assuming you actually care about this Courtney girl, if you don't, bail on both of them. Playing BS games like this is just a giant waste of time.

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OutOfHisSkin
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:00:24 AM
Reply

I find myself in a similar yet a probably much more convoluted situation. I have posted on here in the past but erring on the side of precaution I chose to create an new ID. Some details and names will be of course changed.

I've been with the same woman for almost 5 years and we are engaged with no set date for marriage. This year has proven to be the toughest in our relationship yet. Without getting into too much detail she started pushing me away and as a result I've reflected on our years together and found myself unsatisfied. No longer do I feel that this person is the right one for me and through our talks I know she is unsure of her feelings for me anymore. We seem to be heading towards a mutual breakup that will hopefully turn into a lifetime friendship as that seems to be what we are better suited for.

Now within the past couple of weeks, quite awhile after all that happened between me and my fiance, we'll call her Kathrine, I started chatting with this other lovely girl, we'll call her Jessica.

Jessica and I knew we shared an instant attraction and kept everything light and flirtatious, but that has grown into a full on infatuation. Jessica knows of my current predicament with my fiance as I was always upfront about it.

However Kathrine does not know of Jessica. As I've said I see us gradually moving towards a mutual breakup and I don't want to rock the boat at this time.

I certainly don't want to be "that guy." The cheater or whatever else. I know I am a good person who has found himself in a situation where most of the decisions he would have to make would fall into a morally gray area. It is a new situation for me and I'm just dealing with it in what I find to be the best way possible. I'm not some guy following my dick, just my heart and my pursuit of happiness.

With that all I can suggest is to do the same. While some may get on their high horse and insist you follow the moral high road, I believe you need to do whatever it takes to find your own happiness.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:00:16 PM

Man, I don't envy you at ALL. But here's hoping things all work out for the best...if there's one thing I know, it's that being the WRONG person for an extended period of time must be miserable. So make sure you're sure. ;)

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slackernz
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:03:47 AM
Reply

Why choose? :D

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Scarecrow
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:03:29 AM
Reply

Ben's life is like an anime haha. Or an awesome Spanish soap opera :D

Anyway you did the right thing by not going. But if I were you I'd keep quiet(though Ms. Courtney read your last article, so she might read this one) so you kinda have to tell her what happened.

I'm the kind of guy who goes with what came first, first come first served. So if you feel chemistry between you and Ms. Courtney, give that a shot. Ms. Amy might still be around later down the line if anything goes wrong with Ms. Courtney.

I don't think I've ever said "Ms" so many times in a day....

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Oyashiro
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:53:52 AM

Haha, all this need is the little sister, the childhood friend and the mysterious girl. Then we just sit back and start a count on how many nosebleeds Ben gets XD.

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sunspider13
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:57:01 AM

Lol.

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MadKatBebop
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:14:02 AM
Reply

What ever you do don't hurt the one your going out with, have you ever been chased by a girl with a pot of hot grits? one of the scariest moments of my life!

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BikerSaint
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:17:11 AM
Reply

Hey Ben,
I figure it's 1 of 3 scenarios

1. Ether they're both plotted a set-up to check
on any trust & loyalty issues Courtney may have.

2. Or Amy has taken it upon herself to safeguard her G/F on the same issues above.

OR,

(the worst case scenario.....)
3. Amy's making her own sneaky-behind-the-back play for you.
And if this is the case, then Amy is a "SNAKE" that can't be trusted.
If she'll go behind her G/F's back, then also think of this too....If you decided on Amy, you'll surely never be able to trust her to not go behind your back with another guy later on.

Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/2/2009 1:19:14 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:03:59 PM

Yeah man, if it's scenario #3, I'm going to be looking for the safest exit. I wouldn't mind either of the first two, but I'd still have questions...question I may not what answers to. LOL

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SplendidBlended
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:37:58 AM
Reply

Ben, as another female I can tell you exactly what she was thinking... er... I have no idea!
I can't comprehend the female mind.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:03:05 PM

Lies. Don't all women have the same hard-wiring in their head? ;) j/k

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jaybiv
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:08:58 AM
Reply

B Dukat you dodged a bullet that most mortal men would have taken for the team.

This is a tricky one B Dukat. Amy could be feeling you out/testing you for her friend. Perhaps Courtney is passing you off to her?? Doesn't sound like you've had much of a past with Amy. If you find out how Amy got your number, it will probably give you a better idea regarding her phone call.

Broach the subject with Courtney by telling her it caught you by surprise and you felt that she should know (assuming she didn't give Amy your number). Good luck with this one brother.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a relationship expert. I'm just playing one on this message board.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:19:51 PM

why do u call him Dukat?

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Banky A
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 4:42:03 PM

I guess to switch the T and K to make Ben's name sound cooler like kool kat/cat.

;)

But probably not?

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aaronisbla
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:44:21 AM
Reply

Smells like a trap, the "!?" should have appeared over your head like guards on MGS4.

If she didnt get your number from you and she isnt in your cirlce of friends, chances are ms courtney gave her the number. If its for a setup test or not is up to you to decide.

I'm glad my wife didn't play these games back in the day...

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sunspider13
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:59:17 AM
Reply

Women and their tests...j/k. You made the right call.

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cheng
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 4:10:54 AM
Reply

Actually u can bring up ur image to Ms.Courtney(i persume shes the 1 u prefer since u've gone out with her twice)by accepting Ms Amy's offer, then phone Ms Courtney n let her know that ur going out with Ms Amy, n ask her TO join u(NOT if she wanna join u).

Ur letting her know that u want her to be with u, n she will mostly think that ur an honest n dependable guy...

Anyway i think u handled the situation good, keep posting man!!

Oh btw this was all my personal opinion n dont blame me if anything goes wrong :P

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BikerSaint
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 10:20:05 PM

Ohhhhh, I think you just wanna hear all the details of a good wild catfight, LMAO

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www
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 6:05:23 AM
Reply

Yea it might be a setup.At the same time maybe ms. amy really has a crush on you.

Ben,you sound like you're really liking ms. courtney a lot and don't wanna do anything to screw up but at the same time you know ms. amy is hot and you're astonished at the sudden call and interest.So, you're left in a dilemma.If it's not a setup, then you should also test the 2 of them,see which one likes you best and start dating.Like you said,you've no intentions of long term relationships, so it's freewill.

Last edited by www on 5/2/2009 6:06:31 AM

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Banky A
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 6:34:32 AM
Reply

Well it's pretty simple..

Which one's hotter? Go with her.
No brainer.

LOL!

>=]

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Deadman
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 7:42:14 AM
Reply

Sounds like they are confused about the types of GAMES you like to play Mr. Ben.

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Riku994
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 8:01:32 AM
Reply

Ben, I had a problem like this about 2 weeks ago, and turns out one of the girls just told me she didnt even want a relationship so I'm essentially in the clear. However youre what, 20 years older than me? And I doubt teenage horomones still affect you or your colleagues, but if youre as lucky as me one of them will just call it off...And if not, you're screwed. But if I know anything about women and their friends, this is a test. If I don't, again, you're screwed. I say take the high road and stick with Ms. Courtney, you'll hurt less feelings that way and judging for your editorials you seem to like her (I think?). Anyway, if worst comes to worst, you end up with no girl and maybe some bruised balls, wounds heal. It'll all be good.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:01:55 PM

I don't think either girl wants a long-term relationship right now, which is fine by me. But I always try the "high road" if the opportunity presents itself.

And damn it...I'm only 30. You can't be 10. ;)

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Riku994
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:12:44 PM

Fine youre 14 years older than me but my point remainds valid!

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Gone
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 8:23:53 AM
Reply

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Last edited by Gone on 5/2/2009 8:24:29 AM

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Gone
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 8:48:35 AM

Ben, don't say anything to Ms. Courtney. Just pretend it didn't happen. If it was a test then Ms. Amy will go back to Ms. Courtney and say you didn't respond. If it is not a test then don't respond to Ms. Amy and ignore her. You won't break their friendship up. Silence is Golden.

If Ms. Courtney reads this article then you are screwed.

Sorry again, edit button disappeared.

Last edited by Gone on 5/2/2009 8:51:00 AM

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HighLife
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 8:28:08 AM
Reply

If she was asking you out and it was not a test, she is not a good friend at all. You did the right thing by not going. Good Luck with your conversation today!

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mastiffchild
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 8:33:15 AM
Reply

Ben,fella, if it turns out this was a "test" of some kind just how insecure is the chick you're dating? Alternatively this could just show she likes screwing with your head. Neither of which are really attractive features so don't worry how you come out of this one at all.

On the other hand if her mate just actually wants to step on her toes then how much of a wedge does their "friendship" need putting between them?

Just tell her what went on and see what the result us-but don't think for one second that you should be woried about your own behaviour here. You should be more worried about one, or both, of theirs IMO. Trust me , if you end up getting grief over this it seems to me like you'd be best off getting shot of the pair of them-life's too short for reindeer games like this mate.

Last edited by mastiffchild on 5/2/2009 8:34:33 AM

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NoSmokingBandit
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 10:51:25 AM

If it is a test it doesnt necessarily mean that Courtney knows about it. Perhaps Amy is just testing because she cares about her friend and wants to know if Ben is a pimp or a gentleman.
Courtney may not know anything about this.

Last edited by NoSmokingBandit on 5/2/2009 10:51:42 AM

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DanicusX
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 9:14:00 AM
Reply

Run like hell man... and don't look back (I think you turn into a pillar of salt or something...)

Last edited by DanicusX on 5/2/2009 9:14:37 AM

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SarahPalinMILF
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 9:37:38 AM
Reply

bag n tag n both in the Book Of BEN

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Schmitty
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 10:43:48 AM
Reply

if this chick is testing you after the first date no offense but she is kinda crazy....

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potato
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:00:42 AM
Reply

bang both

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SplendidBlended
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:05:27 AM

You, potato, are disgusting.

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Riku994
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:56:47 AM

Agreed. (with Cobra I mean)

Last edited by Riku994 on 5/2/2009 11:57:03 AM

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MadKatBebop
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 7:11:10 PM

In the past I would've agreed with potato if I hadn't gotten chased by an angry hot girl with a pot of hot grits!

Last edited by MadKatBebop on 5/2/2009 7:13:13 PM

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fatelementality
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:54:22 AM
Reply

SCREWED.......nuff said.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:27:04 PM
Reply

I don't think it's a test, women try to sabotage each other all the time. They always want what the other one has. Amy is after you dude.

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fluffernutter
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:47:27 PM
Reply

Did anyone think that maybe she was 1. looking for a reaction because 2. wanted to see if this would get posted online because 3. Ms. Courtney (indirectly) may want to see just how much of her "life" would get put on these posts, threads, etc.?

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rcrodgers
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:40:35 PM
Reply

Forgive me for not being sympathetic, but some of us aren't lucky enough to even have one girl interested in us, much less two...

That said, the right thing to do is what you're doing, tell Ms. Courtney the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Let her work this out with Ms. Amy, as it may be something that has happened in the past, and/or she may be aware of Ms. Amy's interest as well. Neither one can blame you for being honest with both of them, and the worst that can happen (as far as you're concerned) is that one or the other might feel awkward with you and the other around.

Best case scenario is a menage a troi... But don't shoot for that, aim lower... ;)

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tlpn99
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 1:59:43 PM
Reply

Ben you could turn the tables on her friend get one of your friends to ask her out and see what happens then lol.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:18:26 PM
Reply

Thanks for all the input, guys. :)

I've already talked to Ms. Courtney about this, and she's either playing dumb or she really didn't know Ms. Amy was going to call me. She's almost as confused as I am...which doesn't really help matters.

As for if I actually "care" for Ms. Courtney; well, I don't mean to sound insensitive but we've been out only once. At this point, it remains open season to some extent, which I think she understands. But I doubt she likes what Ms. Amy did and I may find out tonight what's going on...

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Riku994
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:21:20 PM

Why do I feel like I'm watching a more adult-oriented version of 90210?

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 4:25:25 PM

Oh please God, NO. LOL

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sunspider13
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:28:28 PM
Reply

Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives *cue music*

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Ogibillm
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 2:43:08 PM
Reply

if it happens again in the future just go out and have a good time - in a completely platonic way.

the two girls are friends. nothing wrong with you being friends also.

i'll add that amy may have just wanted to go out to a bar with someone 'safe.' she may not have wanted to deal with getting picked up on by guys and didn't want to take someone else out that might be trying to a)get into her pants or b)leave her by herself to get into some other girl's pants.

who better than the guy dating her friend that she's previously met and had fun with?

i really think you guys are looking too deeply into it. women can be devious, but not always, and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

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BikerSaint
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 10:27:14 PM

<<<and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar>>>

Oh yeah?
Try telling that one to Monica Lawinsky, LOL

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Lairfan
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 3:07:38 PM
Reply

Sorry for sounding insensitive, but this is incredibly weird by my standards. Around here, its live, love, or break up, none of this "testing" crap.

All I can tell you is that if you stick to what you know is right, then you'll know you've done the right thing, even if it's something difficult to solve like this. No high road or low road, just what you know is right.

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Scarecrow
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 3:29:15 PM
Reply

I'm sorry Ben, but I'm psyched!
Rooting for you man!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 4:25:39 PM

Heh. Thanks. :)

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Zaben
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 3:43:22 PM
Reply

I don't think this situation is too bad. It's too early in a relationship to get worked up over. At least until they both come up to you and ask which one you like better (which they most likely will). When that happens, Run and keep Running. There is never any right answer to that situation.

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godsman
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 5:23:17 PM
Reply

I've had a case where a woman, that i've only met once or twice, suddenly acting really friendly all of a sudden. Calling late at night to tell me about nothing, while I was eager to hang up on her, but there were no awkward pauses to give me the chance. Giving me overly friendly hug (and im not kidding), I can feel EVERYTHING through her thin t-shirt. Hinting for me to have one-on-one dinner with her on her b-day.

What happened at the end? I turned down everything, telling her I am busy, which is the truth btw. Eventually she just phased out of my life. Watch out for that Ben, if you want to stay as friends.

I've been told an idiot many many times to just not take the quick fling with her. I guess that's just the kind of guy i am.

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WNDRTWN1
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 6:16:07 PM
Reply

You go Ben, you sly devil you trying to act all innocent and stuff. You worked it well on Ms. Courtney and Ms. Amy, lol. Just kidding, but, I'm with Scarecrow. I'm psyched as well. Very interested in how things gonna turned out. Good Luck.

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Banky A
Sunday, May 03, 2009 @ 1:16:39 AM

Bardock's alive!!!

:3

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chicko1983
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 6:57:10 PM
Reply

If she was calling as part of a "test" I say ditch them both. If they can't judge whether you are trustworthy or not just by getting to know you then they are not worth it.
That said, don't take any relationship advice from me - I've been single for 4 years.

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N a S a H
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 7:03:23 PM
Reply

Play it cool and stick to Ms.Courtney. If you think about it, Amy can't be any good if you consider ANY senario you have.

If she really wanted to meet up for drinks then she's betraying her friend.

If it was a test then you can't have her in the end anyway.

Good Luck ;)

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:18:35 PM
Reply

The real question is: How'd she get your number?

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 11:30:51 PM

It's a damn good question and one that Arnold asked, too. I was so surprised when she called me, I never asked...and I still don't know. I just have to assume Ms. Courtney gave it to her, although I have no idea WHY.

As I just said in my Week in Review, I spoke to both women today. You would THINK that would clear everything up. Be all straightforward and simple and sh**.

Yeah.

No.

Infuriatingly vague. W...T...F?!

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fluffernutter
Sunday, May 03, 2009 @ 2:27:18 AM
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Maybe she found your phone number through Google? :O

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Shatterday
Sunday, May 03, 2009 @ 8:08:00 AM
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A lot of times a little jealousy and competition can show you whos more serious. I guess it depends on what type of person you are.

Say you had gone out with ms. amy and just had drinks. No big deal, did you guys have sex? orgy? run a train on her with all your buddies? no, probably not.

You wouldn't even have to lie to ms. courtney, you can just be like "yeah, we had a couple drinks" she can either be cool about it or she can get jealous and you might end up with a bj on your next date.

I think you did the right thing though. Unless courtney really isn't in to you, and amy was... wouldn't that be a b**** !

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OriginalSin
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 3:57:40 AM
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Yeah well this is a tricky one.... Been in similar situations before and none of them worked out all too well....

1st time: Similar situation where her friend asked me to join her for lunch as we worked close together. Sounded like a simply friendly gesture. Went for lunch... Ended up eating at home (If you know what I mean).... her friend found out and obviously all hell broke loose. Lost them both, but at least the take away was good... hehehe.

2nd Time: Similar situation but I just ran into my GF's friend at a function. We chatted and I could feel the chemistry but I didn't react on it because of what I've learned out of the first time.... Anyway we didn't hook up. Turned out my GF at that time was banging some guy on the side and the girl I felt the connection with was truly an awesome girl and I found out later she really had a full on crush on me. By that time she had gotten into a relationship with one of my friends so I decided to leave it at that... We still see each other (as friends) once in a while and I must say I made the wrong choice back then....

3rd Time: Long story short met girl, liked girl,girl crazy, sets me up with friend, friend crazy,crazy friend lie to crazy girl, crazy girl decide it's on and plays crazy friend, makes even bigger moves to prove to crazy friend she will get me, crazy friend doesn't like this idea, so she goes even BIGGER on crazy girl. Basically I was like a battle ground for two totally insane chicks... Any idea how scary that is? Then changed my name and ran away screaming...

My point is these situations come along just to F**** with our minds. Like we (men) don't have a hard time already figuring women out. And doesn't really matter what the actual story is behind what's happening with Ms Courtney and Ms. Amy the chances of actually doing the right thing at the right time is not up to you in the first place. The best thing to do is just ride it out and see what happens.

The less decisions you'll have to make in this situations the better your chances are in the end. Let it play out by itself....But that's just me.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 10:23:48 AM

I think I'm familiar with that third scenario, if only because I see the word "crazy" about a hundred times. I know aaaall about that. ;)

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Troy Powers
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 8:43:30 AM
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Late to the party, but I think it was a bad idea telling her about the call. Good job of blowing the chick off, but you should have left it at that.

If...

A) They were BOTH trying to test you, you pass the test, but the fact that you didn't bring up the phone call still keeps Courtney on her toes. It's like, "Okay, he's not a total creep, but he's not a total wuss who's gonna run back and tell me every little thing."

B) Just the friend was trying to test you, you pass. No drama.

C) The friend is really trying to get on, you pass. Again, no drama between friends.

See, the thing is, if there is some kind of rift between old friends, no matter how it plays out, the old college buddy is going to win over the guy she's been on two dates with. Which is why, personally, I would have just handled the situation by politely turning her down, and let that be the end of it.

Can't wait to hear how this plays out.

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PS3addict
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 12:40:18 PM
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Ben,

A little late in reply but here is how I see it;
Courtney and Amy are chatting it up and Courtney starts in on "I think I like him, and stuff". I bet cash that Courtney went to a different room and Amy got your number off of her cell.

Now the real question is why?

1) Jealousy: Her best friend will now have a great guy and can not spend as much time with her.
1a) Break them up by proving he is a cheating dog by asking him out.
1b) Get the man for herself. If she is going to lose face time with her friend, it is better for her to have the man instead.

2) Testing you out for her friend:
You hook up with a chick, and she is with a group of friends. She introduces you to her friend and then the friend gets a little too friendly a short time later. Take the bait, lose them both.

3) A rare number of girls are actually OK with being the sauce on the side. She may want to have you often, but not date you, 2AM calls are always worth ansering in this case, if you are willing live that life...

It is a hard situation. I have been in the same relationship for 11 years and always seem to end up out with friends and getting hit on by some pretty foxy ladies, it just seems too easy to get some strange when you are not trying to.

I swear being unavailable is the biggest turn on for a lot of women. If you ignore the hottest women in the bar, she will want to know why, and there is a good chance to strike up a conversation if you want to (I don't, but hey.)

It all comes down to the person you are, and what you are looking for.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 4:33:52 PM

Thanks. I'd say a lot of that is very possible...I will be interested to learn which is true. :) I still haven't found out, of course.

But as for the last part, where you said if you ignore the hottest woman in the bar and she'll want to know why...? Sorry man, but that's a myth. You can go to a club every damn night and ignore all the hottest chicks there, and I'll bet you every cent I have that not a one will give one flying fig why you're ignoring them. ;)

At the same time, you are right that unavailable men do seem more attractive to women, but I say it's just because the "unavailable" man has proven he can commit. I think that plays more of a role than the "forbidden fruit" idea.

Last edited by Ben Dutka PSXE on 5/4/2009 4:34:16 PM

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BikerSaint
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 5:30:16 PM
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@ BEN,
OK, if you talked to both of them & no body's said a damned thing about the situation, then it's probably a set-up by both, & not the 2nd or 3rd scenario I said said earlier

"BEWARE & BE VERY AWARE"!!!!

Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/4/2009 5:31:53 PM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 8:00:47 PM

Oh...I'm frightened. I admit it freely.

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