Editorial: Casual Dating Confusion
Maybe it's because I spent the vast majority of my college days playing RPGs (22 in 4 years, baby). Maybe it's because my work and lifestyle hasn't really had room for long-term relationships (that, and my brain has difficulty finding room for them). Or maybe it's just because this situation really is as weird as it sounds. All I know is, I remember hanging up the phone with Ms. Courtney, sitting back in my chair, staring out the window, saying: "...well, this is new.
I don't pretend to be an expert on much of anything besides video games. I really don't. I've got some sports knowledge, I love to read so I've read many of the literary classics, I play a little tennis, I'm a pretty good speaker, and I suppose I have a basic, working knowledge of the opposite sex. But this is well beyond me. If you're coming late to the party, you're going to have to check the last few installments in this mini-saga of mine; this isn't like a "To Be Continued..." TV show where I can remind everyone of last week's production with a quick set of snippets. So go ahead and catch up, but if you're already caught up, read on. Now, as far as I can tell, the world may be playing some sort of colossal, cosmic trick on me, although it seems highly unlikely. What exactly did I do to invite the wrath of the heavens? Is it because I don't believe in astrology? Or just 'cuz the very concept of space baffles me no end? There must be a reason.
So: Ms. Courtney did indeed know about Ms. Amy calling me, but played it off like she didn't...at first. Then she told me she did. I ask why. She says it's because they both find me interesting. I say something like, "...what?" Ms. Courtney says she doesn't really want to talk about it, and yet, we should definitely go out tomorrow night and talk about it then. I ask if Ms. Amy is going to pose a problem and if the two "friends" aren't so friendly. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. Ms. Amy, on the other hand, is quite willing to talk about it. Apparently, it was her idea. The two had talked about it and they figured maybe the only fair way to resolve the issue was for each of them to spend a little time with me, just to see who "fit" better. Originally, I was never supposed to know...although how they expected me to date them both without ever asking any questions whatsoever is, as I said, beyond me. They said neither would hold a grudge provided both kept things casual.
At this point, am I allowed to say, "WTF is going on?" Or would that be the words of the uninitiated? Does this happen often in the dating world? I wouldn't know; it's why I'm asking. The only good news is that, apparently, this entire thing is up to me; whomever I feel more comfortable with; whichever of the two women "fit" me better, I can just choose her and the other will back off. Their agreement is that when this happens, there will be no bad feelings anywhere. But really...how long can I keep spending time with both before one of them starts to get pissed? Seriously? They say there's no time limit and that is the biggest lie I've ever heard. It may, however, be a white lie, simply stated so I wouldn't feel any pressure. It didn't work. I suppose I can deal with this but I have a baaaaad feeling. It's like wandering through a bunch of very bland hallways - no way to find your direction; nothing on the walls, etc. - and there are invisible trip wires around every turn. It's a little nerve-wracking. Or maybe I should just relax and do whatever...sex, I have learned, is part of the trial equation.
Yeah. Like that won't cause any problems. 'rolling eyes' Okay, I'm done. Oh, I chose that pic because it kinda looks a little like Ms. Amy.
5/8/2009 Ben Dutka