Editorial: Casual Dating Confusion

Maybe it's because I spent the vast majority of my college days playing RPGs (22 in 4 years, baby). Maybe it's because my work and lifestyle hasn't really had room for long-term relationships (that, and my brain has difficulty finding room for them). Or maybe it's just because this situation really is as weird as it sounds. All I know is, I remember hanging up the phone with Ms. Courtney, sitting back in my chair, staring out the window, saying: "...well, this is new.

I don't pretend to be an expert on much of anything besides video games. I really don't. I've got some sports knowledge, I love to read so I've read many of the literary classics, I play a little tennis, I'm a pretty good speaker, and I suppose I have a basic, working knowledge of the opposite sex. But this is well beyond me. If you're coming late to the party, you're going to have to check the last few installments in this mini-saga of mine; this isn't like a "To Be Continued..." TV show where I can remind everyone of last week's production with a quick set of snippets. So go ahead and catch up, but if you're already caught up, read on. Now, as far as I can tell, the world may be playing some sort of colossal, cosmic trick on me, although it seems highly unlikely. What exactly did I do to invite the wrath of the heavens? Is it because I don't believe in astrology? Or just 'cuz the very concept of space baffles me no end? There must be a reason.

So: Ms. Courtney did indeed know about Ms. Amy calling me, but played it off like she didn't...at first. Then she told me she did. I ask why. She says it's because they both find me interesting. I say something like, "...what?" Ms. Courtney says she doesn't really want to talk about it, and yet, we should definitely go out tomorrow night and talk about it then. I ask if Ms. Amy is going to pose a problem and if the two "friends" aren't so friendly. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. Ms. Amy, on the other hand, is quite willing to talk about it. Apparently, it was her idea. The two had talked about it and they figured maybe the only fair way to resolve the issue was for each of them to spend a little time with me, just to see who "fit" better. Originally, I was never supposed to know...although how they expected me to date them both without ever asking any questions whatsoever is, as I said, beyond me. They said neither would hold a grudge provided both kept things casual.

At this point, am I allowed to say, "WTF is going on?" Or would that be the words of the uninitiated? Does this happen often in the dating world? I wouldn't know; it's why I'm asking. The only good news is that, apparently, this entire thing is up to me; whomever I feel more comfortable with; whichever of the two women "fit" me better, I can just choose her and the other will back off. Their agreement is that when this happens, there will be no bad feelings anywhere. But really...how long can I keep spending time with both before one of them starts to get pissed? Seriously? They say there's no time limit and that is the biggest lie I've ever heard. It may, however, be a white lie, simply stated so I wouldn't feel any pressure. It didn't work. I suppose I can deal with this but I have a baaaaad feeling. It's like wandering through a bunch of very bland hallways - no way to find your direction; nothing on the walls, etc. - and there are invisible trip wires around every turn. It's a little nerve-wracking. Or maybe I should just relax and do whatever...sex, I have learned, is part of the trial equation.

Yeah. Like that won't cause any problems. 'rolling eyes' Okay, I'm done. Oh, I chose that pic because it kinda looks a little like Ms. Amy.

5/8/2009 Ben Dutka

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Comments (83 posts)

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GuernicaReborn
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:30:27 PM
Reply

Nothing good will come of this. Good luck Ben.

3 up, 0 down

NoSmokingBandit
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:16:05 PM

Thats the spirit!

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somethingrandom
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 10:46:25 PM

LOL he should see if they'll go for a threesome! jk...

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Zaben
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:37:16 PM
Reply

Wow. I'm glad such a conundrum hasn't yet fallen upon me. They say that there won't be any bad feelings but... it doesn't really work that way too often with women. And they left you without a right answer to your situation. Therefore, I would choose the "just relax" option and see how things unfold.

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kevinater321
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:38:05 PM
Reply

If that's miss amy and you can't choose between the two theni would love to see a miss courtny ;) wow ben for a nerd you got some hot chicks falling for you

1 up, 5 down

Scarecrow
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:04:41 PM

Nerd? This guy owns a badass car, has muscles, and goes out...

Games /= nerd

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kevinater321
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:23:49 AM

I'm all jokes man. Ben is the coolest

3 up, 0 down

darxed
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:41:57 PM
Reply

uhmm two women liking one guy and being rational about it... I sense a bad omen looming in...

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GuernicaReborn
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:54:59 PM

Definitely. If these two are friends, and you end up with one, you'll still see the other one when they hang out. That'll be awkward. And lets assume you choose Ms. Amy. Don't you think Ms. Courtney will be A.) A little resentful towards you because you two starting talking before Ms. Amy, and B.) A little jealous of Ms. Amy for getting with a guy that Ms. Courtney was talking to first? And if you reject Ms. Amy before anything happens and take your chances with Ms. Courtney, she'll be all "What, my friends aren't good enough for you?" Then lets just assume for a second that you do try the whole dating two pseudo-friends at the same time scenario. Do you take both out at the same time? If not, which one do you go out with? And you say sex is in the equation. Which one do you have sex with first? Because women talk, Ben. And whichever one you have sex with first, you better race on over to the other one's place and get the deed done before she finds out that she's runner up to the prize.

4 up, 0 down

Nerull
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:44:39 PM
Reply

As much as I see what you're saying, do you realize you're complaining about having more than one woman pursue you?
That's a few steps down of whining about not knowing what car to buy after winning a lottery.
It does seem a bit odd though. I don't think 2 male friends would ever do this sort of thing, not when 1 had already been dating her for a while anyway.

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jaybiv
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 10:49:38 PM
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B Dukat, you are the Bachelor. Sweet! If you were on the full blown show, I would say have fun with the skanks and then settle down with a good girl. In this case, while you've fast forwarded past the good part, you are in a no lose situation. I heard that the Year of the Pimp and Player has passed B Dukat. Pick the one you vibe with best and don't look back. Good luck!

2 up, 0 down

Scarecrow
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:03:43 PM
Reply

Ummmmmmm what the heck is this? lol....
I don't know what to tell you Ben

On one hand I'd say "man you're a lucky dude." I'd love for two babes to be that into me to say "you can choose." haha that't awesome

The bad part is that they're friends and one will ultimately feel bad/sad.

Well if anything have fun *grins*

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:16:45 PM
Reply

Oh, I know there's no way out of this without something bad happening.

I could just turn a blind eye to the inevitable and have a little fun in the meantime. ...but it'll be like having your fun with an anvil hanging over your head.

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GuernicaReborn
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:54:50 PM

Ben, there may be a way out, although it may not be the most fun route. You could bring one of your friends into the equation. Was anyone interested in Ms. Amy? Just think of the insane Love-Square you'd have going on. It would rival Jack-Kate-Sawyer-Juliet.

Last edited by GuernicaReborn on 5/8/2009 11:57:49 PM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:18:04 AM

I don't have any friends who aren't engaged, married, or involved right now. ...shows you my age. ;)

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BikerSaint
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:26:22 PM
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Hmmm, You had best beware.....
I'm afraid it now sounds like there's gonna be a bloodletting in someone's future, Ben!

(and that ceremonial sacrificial lamb being led to slaughter isn't going be Courtney or Amy either)

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Jed
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 11:53:03 PM
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All I can say is that I wish I had two attractive women chasing after me. If that ever happens, (not likely), then I guess I would start thinking of what bad things could come.

Anyway, we hope the best for you Ben.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:04:03 AM
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Okay this is a rare time I have to bust in without finishishing the other posts.

You are FARCKED, old man. You're done, broke, busted go to bed, take a pillow and a long sleep. As horrible and shortly as i've been involved in female relations, i know a bit. I was the last and only guy to tell you this was no "test". You can't come out of this alive. If you wanna be a pigman you can pick one for physical relations periodically, but you are gonna fall from any kind of grace if you try to have both or be "King" of this kind of sh*t.

2 up, 0 down

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 4:59:03 PM

Sadly, this could be very, very true. :(

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fluffernutter
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:11:53 AM
Reply

I was in a somewhat similar situation in the past. Here's the short version. Met a group of girls while I was hanging out with my friends. End of the night, Girl A asked for my number and I gladly gave it to her. Not realizing it until later on, Girl B was eying the number and myself even though we talked the least. I get a call a couple days later and Girl B introduces herself, tells me that Girl A was just asking for the number because Girl B was being shy. (Red Alert should have sounded there) I went with it, dated Girl B. Ran into Girl A while with Girl B and the claws came out. Got the truth later on and Girl B ended up being quite the psycho and very, very territorial. It was fun (the physical part of it) but the head games and drama were pretty lame and immature.

Whatever you decide, Ben... it can only end in you being physically satisfied and the girls not making much sense through any of this. Think about it. If you're already analyzing all of this, and thinking of which would be the proper "steps" to take, it is way too much work for what the end result will be. As a wise old fisherman, at the end of an uneventful day, once said, "There are plenty more fish in the sea."

Last edited by fluffernutter on 5/9/2009 12:12:56 AM

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:00:28 PM

That's part of my issue: whatever I do, I want the final result to be worth my effort. So maybe I shouldn't over-think any of this, as I don't want the amount of work to override any potential fun I may have.

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pyrobomber70
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:39:59 AM
Reply

It is a simple equation: Go out with one for a week and then switch and go out with the other one for a week. Find out who is more sexually compatable with you and has the same interests. If one of them is more jealous that should just make it more easy. If they both want to have sex with you, do it and let both them know that your sleeping with both of them. In the end it is all going to end bad just enjoy the good part of the ride until it ends. HELL MAYBE YOU WILL GET BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER!

2 up, 1 down

kevinater321
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:32:16 AM

HELLZ YA

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:01:06 PM

Geez...let's not put THAT thought in my head. This is complicated enough.

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Jed
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:51:39 AM
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Maybe you could pick the one you like, then make the other one not like you. But since they are friends that could be complicated. Sh it I don't know,

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Swavey
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:06:20 AM
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dude just nail them both and say neither one "fits". thats the only way you are gonna come out with anything good. hell maybe you can get some kind of three way going on to see who is better! lol!

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kevinater321
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:38:12 AM

haha ya! Like a competition..... I just looked up competition on dictionary dot com and in it's example it said " both girls entered the competition. xD

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Jiggy
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:14:18 AM
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Uh....RUN! But run after you do your business with both. Might as well get something out this mess.

And I would love to beat you down in tennis someday. lol

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WolfCrimson
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:20:23 AM
Reply

Stuck in a bizarre situation? Find a bizarre solution, Ben.
Go for either both, or neither. All or nothing.
Really, do they expect you to walk out unscathed from this, those inconsiderate women?! (not saying all women are inconsiderate, just those 2)
So, here what you can do. You can go for the "all" option, that is, be as inconsiderate as them, and if they get surprised, tell them "what did you expect? you brought this upon yourselves". Although, you don't seem to be that kind of person, Ben.
OR
You can opt for the "nothing" option, which I advise, and say "Sorry, I can't do this. You think I'm gonna choose one of you? When BOTH of you agreed to put me through this? No thanks, I'm looking for considerate, nice women." (rephrase as required)
BTW, this is just my opinion, if you choose to follow it, you take full responsibility, alright? You're free to do whatever you want, m8, so good luck with whatever choice you make.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:02:42 PM

Eh, it's hard to say if what they're doing is "inconsiderate." I keep asking myself, "what would I do if I was in their position?" Isn't it best to talk it out with the friend in question and approach things logically? Sure, it puts me in a tough position, but I'd be in one anyway, simply because two women are interested...

I dunno. I may just be rambling. LOL

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Oyashiro
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:20:54 AM
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This is turning into a Anime! I'll pray you get the good ending... Although crazy laughing and lots of blood is cool too. :)

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LegendaryWolfeh
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:28:45 AM
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Change your name, assume a new identity, and try again XD if they notice similarities play it off, lol. Maybe the second time will work out better.

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YesterdysRising
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 1:50:31 AM
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I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else and say that you're FOWNKED!!! I would say, forget about both of them, name your left hand Ms. Courtney and your right Ms. Amy, or whichever way you prefer and call it a day.......

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Ultimadream
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 2:08:13 AM
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Solve it on Jerry Springer.

4 up, 0 down

migabyte
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 3:21:13 AM
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I don't know....I'm 26, and I've had my fair share of girls. Both serious, one night stands, and everything in between (I don't even know my number, but it's above 30). I just think that they will work it out. They talk, they know what's going on. One will be "more" interested, and the other will be OK with it.

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GamerKid123
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 3:22:36 AM
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Quite a predicament there Ben, i'm no expert, but i reckon you should wait for them to come back to you. They might sort this out themselves, if not.. well, choose whoever seems most like you / the nicer perosn.

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Aerifale
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:26:06 AM
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This is funny i suppose as i just went through the same predicament Ben.

Thankfully it wasn't that hard to resolve as one of the girls was obviously only in it for one thing (won't say it as there may be young ones reading)

The other however really cared about me. Safe to say we've just started to take things seriously and so far things are going well :)

Don't worry Ben, just follow your instincts and keep a level head. You'll be just fine.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:03:20 PM

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

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DarthNemesis
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 6:23:41 AM
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Just have sex with both of them,eat up their food and see what happens next.if they both get mad,then oh well.If they both are into the triangle,then great and maybe you can set up a threesome.

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kevinater321
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:24:47 AM
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I have one thing to say.......what would Jesus do?

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piratedrunk
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 10:18:53 AM

two chicks?

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Deadman
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:44:32 AM
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Ben its not as complicated as you think, as long as you remember dont be greedy. The situation is a dream come true but will swiftly turn into a nightmare if you get greedy. They both act like its ok now but after time of "test driving" both they will start to get attatched to you emotionally THEY ARE WOMEN they think and do everything on emotions not on rational thought. Sorry to any ladies here whom I maybe offending by that statment, but its true.

Or lol maybe you found the two out there that arent emotionally insane that you can do this with and everything will just workout for the best in the end with rainbows and kittens.

You are already in too deep just remember dont get greedy.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:04:41 PM

Oh, I'm not greedy. I just don't like balancing on the edge of the abyss... And yeah, I'd say women, on an emotional level, or most definitely different than men.

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Gone
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 7:54:57 AM
Reply

Dump both of them, they sound like trouble. Drama is a bitch.

Ms. Courtney + Ms. Amy = Ms. Chievous

Last edited by Gone on 5/9/2009 8:04:20 AM

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robinhood2010
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 8:16:07 AM
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I say have your cake and eat it! What will really happen if one/both of them get pissed off? You are back at square one, so nothing lost! And to be honest, most women I know would have ripped their friend to shreds if they knew they both liked me, haha!

1 up, 1 down

Troy Powers
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 2:59:51 PM

EXACTLY! Worst case scenario: You lose them both. OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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rcrodgers
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 8:31:28 AM
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Drop back 10 yards and punt. I'm not the most experienced man in the world when it comes to dating, and while they're telling you there will be no consequences for you from the situation, you're right to be seriously concerned about it... Feelings will be hurt, friendships will be tested, and a relationship with either will always be complicated...

Surely there's another path (woman) to the goal (a good relationship); just because you have two choices right now doesn't mean you have to take either.

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Riku994
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:15:28 AM
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Dude, with all due respect and in pure honesty, you're screwed. One of them WILL hold a grudge, it's how women work, and you're right, there IS a time limit, I'd give it maybe a month at the most, perhaps a little longer if you dont see one of them at least once a week. So either make your choice and then deal with the other being a b**** to the either for the remainder of the relationship, or just choose neither because the situation is too stressful. Good luck bud.

Last edited by Riku994 on 5/9/2009 9:18:12 AM

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www
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:21:43 AM
Reply

This don't really happen in the dating world.
Ben,you're in a dilemma,i sense that you like'em both.

At first you sounded like Ms. Courtney was ya choice now look at you putting up a Ms. Amy look-alike pic,i know this situation,you like'em both but you don't wanna hurt any one of'em but still you know you'd have to go with one.
Ben,i sense you eyeing Ms.Amy, at the same time you feel Ms. Courtney came first so it just wouldn't be fair.

Anyway i leave you in ya dilemma.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:06:05 PM

See? I KNEW this kind of thing didn't happen in the dating world. And there are definitely a bunch of factors to consider...

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piratedrunk
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 10:20:37 AM
Reply

You already know it's bad news.. But if you feel compelled to keep it going I would go with the one who is the most open and honest. Her willingness to talk about it is a good sign.

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MadKatBebop
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 11:42:47 AM
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I guess just choose the one you like the most, just try to avoid grit burns.

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rowdy
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:07:22 PM
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Yeah, I agree, the concept of space baffles me to no end as well.

One of the things that I don't get is that apparantly space is still expanding but at a decreasing rate because of gravity and eventually it will stop expanding at start coming back the other way until it implodes and there is another big bang.

Some of the s*** that these astronomers spit out is just beyond me at the moment but if you spend enough time thinking about it, it kind of makes sense.

2 up, 0 down

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:08:00 PM

Yeah. It's totally off the wall.

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Phoelix
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 12:35:54 PM
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Am I the only person that thinks that maybe the ladies really ARE going to be civil about who Ben chooses? I mean, they are friends, and they talked about it. How many people Ben's age would go back on their word like that?

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Fane1024
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 2:54:35 PM

Yes. I think you are. ;)

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Robochic
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 2:40:06 PM
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Hmmm i've seen this before.
All i know nothing good could come out of this, I'm a girl and i know how girls get extremely competive especially for a man attention. All i know u better pick one fast or the whole thing could BLOW up in u're face. BTW if u have sex with them let me tell u they will talk.....

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:07:25 PM

Oh, that's one thing I do know. They WILL talk. That's gonna be...uncomfortable.

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Diggity Dan
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 3:27:45 PM
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Run away from both...this wont turn out well no matter what.

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mastiffchild
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 3:35:45 PM
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Pair of oddos mate. Walk. Do it now and don't look back-how bothered can they really be if they're prepared to let each other have a go at you? I'd never be able to stomch being in their position if I actually cared about the person in yours(if you see what I mean).

Plus, if they're both willing to take this to the bedroom(and not in the "we're really cool lets all go together" fashion but seperately)just how cheap are you going to feel when you have to choose-and you will have to and it'll make this all seem way more important than it is.

What a dramatic pair you've seduced Dutka-I'm, just not sure about anyone who could easily allow you to sleep with their mate. Just how deep(and oddly mixed up) are their feelings. Walk I say!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:06:55 PM

Hey, I didn't seduce anyone. I didn't really "do" ANYTHING. LOL

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Powershifter
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 5:00:11 PM
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Yeah.. ahh.. In the immortal words of Han Solo, "I have a bad feeling about this." Actually, come to think of it (off topic!), I think that's the only line that shows up in all 6 star wars movies.

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rcrodgers
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 1:19:21 AM

That and possibly "It's not my fault."

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WNDRTWN1
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 6:14:14 PM
Reply

Ben, Ben, Ben, I knew you were a sly devil two chicks willing to let you chose who you want lmao. But, anyways my advice is and may sound like a softy or whatever people want to call it. Just be honest with yourself man, if you are really interested in both do what you feel is right for you. Either that being dating both and seeing which one is right fit for you or just say forget them both and don't even bother. Now I know if I was in your shoes I would sit both of them down together and see if they can be really and truly civilized about it. Then I would turn around after I sit down with them both I would sit down with each of them privately to see if either one give the indication if it is gonna be a problem. If I see if its gonna be a problem with either one I will just leave them both be (that's if I'm interested in both). But all and all be honest and true to yourself and to the both of them. That's how I would approach it. Good luck.

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Suapsycho
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 8:02:05 PM
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Let me ask you a question. If you found a ticking nuclear bomb and had a choice between cutting one of 2 wires, would you take the chance? If your answer is no, then apply that logic to this situation and run the fu** away.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 8:13:01 PM

Heh...there's something amiss with that analogy.

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Suapsycho
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 @ 7:14:36 AM

Yeah, it's all I could come up with on the fly after an overnight shift.

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LightShow
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:02:17 PM
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Let them both know that you think this little game of theirs is bullshit, and that you don't feel like being manipulated in any way. then walk off and leave it alone.

at least, thats what I would do

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CH1N00K
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:30:44 PM
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You should have started this article with "Dear Playboy, I never thought it could happen to me..."

Just kidding, You've got an interesting problem that's for sure. One that a lot of guys dream about being in...until you get in it then you realize that the fantasy is better then the reality of it..lol

I wish I had some words of wisdom to hand on to you, but I've screwed up more situations before I finally got it right. No matter what you decide, either way you're screwed...that could be good, or that could be very bad...lol

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Kangasfwa
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 9:55:28 PM
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My sister says to find out how Ms Courtney really feels if she "doesn't want to talk about it." I've never dated (20 years old btw) but this sounds like Ms Amy likes what Ms Courtney has and wants to "share."

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Reccaman18
Saturday, May 09, 2009 @ 10:30:33 PM
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Here's what I think: If dating either one will ruin a friendship between the two of them, then I say leave it be. I know it would seem stupid to turn down a woman, but you dont want anyone to get hurt now do you? Im not trying to play the guilt trip or anything like that, so dont misunderstand me. As much as I hate this analogy, I have to use it: "there are plenty of fish in the sea." Its just that some happen to be sharks! lol

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slackernz
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 12:07:07 AM
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What a twister... Go with your gut instincts dude and I hope you get a happy ending to this [pun not intended]

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ceedot
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 12:26:25 AM
Reply

Guess what?
Choose one and have them talk about how you used to see the other girl.

You're fucked either way.

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King James
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 12:42:19 AM
Reply

Didn't read any previous posts, so this may have already been said:

The best and most logical move is also the simplest, which is leave them both alone...*sighs* but we all know, Ben, that no one EVER does that.

We already know what you're gonna do. Whoever intrigues you the most will get chosen. You'll slowly neglect the other until, the three of y'all all know who you favor. But you'll play it cool and let whatever happens happen.

Since these women seem to know each other extremely well...I'd say stay as transparent as possible.

We'll see how this pans out. I doubt it will get messy, well maybe a lil' dirty.

Good Luck, Mr. Dutka ;)

Last edited by King James on 5/10/2009 12:43:12 AM

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Ultimate_Balla
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 7:33:49 AM
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... Kinda Looks Like Her, Or Is Her? Hmmmmm... Lol. Aaaaanyho, 22 Rpgs In 4Yrs? Did You Complete All Of 'em? :O

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 11:37:32 PM

Only looks like her, of course.

And yes, all 22 RPGs complete. :)

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Skatejimmy5
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 12:26:55 PM
Reply

I'd go for Courtney. Maybe that's because I always think of Courtney Cox when hearing the name, or it's because she was (as I believe) first.

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fluffernutter
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 1:28:11 PM
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I'd go for Courtney too if she's better looking than that picture of Ms. Amy. I know I'm being an ass but it's Mother's Day. It's my own personal humor. I hope you all have a great one with your sack... people.

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SkantDragon
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 1:55:06 PM
Reply

I'm not sure it's such a good idea to seek relationship advice from a public forum of gamer geeks. Hopefully, you're just skimming for ideas rather than taking any meaning out of any sort of consensus.

Lots of doom and gloom among the responses. Don't give in to that. The sort of thing you're describing can and does happen. And how it will play out depends on the people involved.

Yes, it could blow up. But so could any relationship.

Yes, it's getting complicated. But that's par for the course for any close relationship.

I think my best advice is to stick to your guns. Be honest and open. Any relationship has to go both ways. If either or both of them are making you feel uncomfortable with the relationship, it's up to them to show they give a damn about you, too.

Don't feel like you need to bend over backwards. We're generally taught that you have to do anything and everything to get a girl. And that's unhealthy. Any real relationship is bidirectional.

A lot of the responses you've received make huge assumptions about the girls involved. If they are stereotypical, then yes. One of them is going to end up being disappointed and possibly scornfully so until she finds someone else. But then again, maybe not. Maybe it will work out just how they say. Or maybe they'd even be comfortable with both of them playing with you. That's not just a playboy magazine fantasy, you know. I'm in such an arrangement myself.

Every relationship is unique. It doesn't have to and all too often doesn't follow a 'typical' pattern.

Hang on. Stick to your principles. Try not to panic.

And see where the rabbit hole goes.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 11:19:40 PM

Well, I just like to see what people have to say. I do value feedback of all kinds.

But as for the bending over backwards thing...well, I don't do that. I've been accused of being too indifferent and maybe not doing enough for women, rather than the other way 'round. ;)

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sunspider13
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 10:45:34 PM
Reply

Aww...I would rather nail my hand to a 2x4 than deal with that...good luck with whatever you do B, I have a feeling this will go bad no matter what you do.

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OriginalSin
Monday, May 11, 2009 @ 3:27:05 AM
Reply

Man I love this show....hehehe.

Yeah it is quite a predicament you're in. I'd take them to their word. See both for a while and really see which one is the best fit. Either way it will be a difficult decision in the end, so you might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts.

I know what I would do, but it will probably be the least "moral" thing to do. But situations like this don't present themselves to everyone. In my case it happened more than once and none of them had pleasant repercussions. But it was however worth it...

There are 3 options to go with. Each with it's own consequences. I think it's easy to imagine what the different ones are. Now the question is which outcome with be worth it?

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shadowscorpio
Monday, May 11, 2009 @ 11:36:16 AM
Reply

darxed i liked your comment. though it was so long ago.

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