The Gamer's Oreo: Two Cookies, But No Cream
View Large ImageThink what you see in that pic is every man's dream? Sure. It is if women didn't have faulty wiring upstairs.
I was going to just let this slide as it isn't the most earth-shattering conclusion to the story, but everyone keeps asking so after putting it off for a few weeks, I suppose I should provide you with the finale. Sadly, it's not what some of you shoot-for-the-stars types had hoped for, although I will say it got a lot closer to the stratosphere than I had ever anticipated. If you remember, I was away for the weekend a few weeks ago, and yes, it included the two girls in that mini-saga (if you need a refresher course, just check the Special Features section). One of them was going to a Memorial Day/Weekend party thrown by her company up in Boston, and her good friend planned to tag along. They asked if I wanted to go, and only because I didn't have to drive (haaaaate getting into Boston) and didn't have to worry about paying for a hotel room, I decided I may as well.
For the record, Arnold didn't think it was a very good idea, but as it turned out, he was neither right or wrong. I just decided to go with the flow: hence, when Ms. Amy said it'd be perfectly fine for me to stay with Ms. Courtney (after all, I had already slept with Ms. Amy and the deal between the two, contrary to all reason and rationale, still existed), and so I did. And so...we "did." I'm not about to get into details but the next day, weird sh** started to happen, and it wasn't the weird sh** I would've expected. No, we were hanging out together for the weekend so there was a lot of joking around, and immediately after that night with Ms. Courtney, Ms. Amy got very playful. She was actually the first - and last - person to even bring up the word "threesome." The proper response was to laugh, which I did, but Ms. Courtney seemed taken aback. Ms. Amy tried to tell me in confidence that it was just a big act, but if it was, she's effing Meryl Streep. Ms. Courtney positively didn't like the idea and worse...
Ms. Amy may not have been joking as we assumed from the start. She just kept bringing it up. Finally, after another day, things came to a head on Sunday when Ms. Amy sat herself down in my lap in the hotel room, turned, and gestured to Ms. Courtney. It was the cusp of.......nope, too bad. Ms. Courtney considered, laughed, and promptly left the room. Ms. Amy rolled her eyes. The only song playing in my head was Disturbed's "Down With the Sickness." Ms. Courtney hasn't spoken to either of us since and Ms. Amy is all happy-go-lucky and convinced that her friend is just playing "hard-to-get" and that I shouldn't disappear. Throughout all of this, I had little to no input. It was like watching the most effed-up play in existence. Women aren't from Venus; they're from another universe entirely; they often relate to one another in a series of bizarre ways that leave men speechless. The entire weekend made absolutely no logical sense, and the worst part was, all three of us had to drive back together...yeah, that was awkward.
And so, this is where things stay. I've seen Ms. Amy since but not Ms. Courtney who only e-mailed me to ask "how things were going." I believe my response (in my head) to seeing that message was precisely this, "...how are things GOING? What the FU** is UP with you women?!" Don't know where to go with this; don't know what to do. All I know is that both these women may be borderline crazy, and there seems to be a perfectly nice dental hygienist who I met this past week (part 2 of the root canal) that may actually be normal. Or, then again, probably not. Bah. Nutjobs. Fruit loops. They've got retarded squirrels juggling knives in their heads! All of 'em!
P.S. I did get them both, though. Not at the same time, but hey, I played by the rules, damnit.
6/5/2009 Ben Dutka
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Comments (89 posts)
Oyashiro
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:16:52 PM
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4 up, 0 down
Riku994
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:21:42 PM
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0 up, 0 down
WorldEndsWithMe
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:22:55 PM
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Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 6/5/2009 11:23:19 PM
6 up, 1 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:40:26 AM
Oh wait, I used it too. Okay, we all have to stop using that word in relation to females. ;)
12 up, 1 down
Dooby_Scooby
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 9:28:33 PM
When they get married and have a kid, before that they really are completely and utterly unbalanced hormonally mentally physically..
They want but they dont want.. They dont want but they want.. The No is actually a yes and a no and a maybe.
They don't want guys that are just players, but they put you into shi**y situations that mean that you have to play "the game" and if you refuse good luck, because she will be in bed with the guy that chatted the sh** she wanted to here in her ear..
Screw trying to work out their logic.They are all crazy your absolutely right, they really are.
0 up, 0 down
Akuma07
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 3:59:49 AM
My girlfriend is the nicest sweetest girl i've ever met.....but when her best friend is around....BAM! shes a completely different person.
1 up, 0 down
Troy Powers
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 9:11:47 AM
0 up, 0 down
therabbitkinge
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:23:14 PM
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5 up, 0 down
Fane1024
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 2:34:40 AM
Or she wanted to get rid of her and has watched a lot of Seinfeld.
p.s I have two friends who ended up in menages and neither situation ended well.
Last edited by Fane1024 on 6/6/2009 2:38:31 AM
1 up, 0 down
Sol
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:27:58 PM
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1 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:41:42 AM
3 up, 1 down
GuernicaReborn
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:44:49 AM
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iPwn_3G
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 10:57:14 PM
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Troy Powers
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 9:15:12 AM
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Jiggy
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:32:30 PM
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1 up, 1 down
Scarecrow
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:39:01 PM
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I really admire you. No no just 'cause of the "fun" parts. But the way you analzy these women hehe *clears tears*
Sounds a lot like me and my friends, seriously babes have weird brains, sometimes I wonder how the f*ck humanity is actually alive. Women's minds are a puzzle beyond anything lol. Sure one can get with them and have fun and all, no problem in that. But actually STAYING with them for long periods of times can 'cause some mental damage hahaha :D
Anyway thanks for the update hehehe
Ben reminds me of the guy from Grand Theft Auto III :D
1 up, 1 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:43:27 AM
That's what's in every woman's brain. God help us all if we ever solve it. You just better hope THEY can't solve it, either.
Last edited by Ben Dutka PSXE on 6/6/2009 12:43:41 AM
2 up, 1 down
s360s
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:42:19 PM
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edit:
Very good read though.
Last edited by s360s on 6/5/2009 11:47:20 PM
3 up, 0 down
GuernicaReborn
Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:54:19 PM
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The drive home sounded great. Did they make you sit in the back, or did you sit with one of the girls? I would have told them that a threesome is the ultimate multitasking option. Why spread something out over two nights that can be easily accomplished in one?
0 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:41:03 AM
It was a loooooong ride.
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LegendaryWolfeh
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:16:12 AM
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Highlander
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:00:26 AM
Last edited by Highlander on 6/6/2009 1:00:35 AM
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GuernicaReborn
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:05:50 AM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:18:36 AM
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Highlander
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 2:53:40 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 10:36:08 AM
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mastiffchild
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 6:31:20 PM
Every chance they get they'll have pawed over their second hand name infamy to find out what you think and how they look esp Ms Amy if the deal was hers with designs of the fullest surf and turf available.
You really think these girls are well afjusted enough to let you just write what you like without even checking it?
That's some great big chunks of naive you been swallowing! And threesomes? You had a lucky escape-generally not the greatest idea even if it does seem a fantastic idea at the time. Besides, I chafe real easy!
Sack 'em both dude, though, in my head Ms Courtney now seems less likely to have been behind much of this and may actually just have wanted to get to know you-possibly much more than her mate.
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jaybiv
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:04:53 AM
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3 up, 0 down
GuernicaReborn
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:08:37 AM
0 up, 0 down
ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:15:03 AM
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These bitches are fuckin crazy!
6 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:17:07 AM
3 up, 0 down
Jian2069
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 9:18:09 AM
1 up, 0 down
somethingrandom
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:30:04 AM
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1 up, 0 down
fluffer nutter
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:32:53 AM
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1. Do not try to understand them. They do not want to be understood and this should not be attempted by any sane man.
2. Repeat no. 1. No, really. Read that again. Inscribe it into your brain.
3. Women are another species. Now, to all of you haters, this works as a compliment, as well. Don't think so? Then you prove me right. ;)
I have dated many women and friended a lot of them. This isn't bragging, but the many interactions with groups of women have enlightened me on many things and have taught me A LOT. You can be literal with a woman when saying something but she will always take the most oddball approach and will assume that you meant something very outlandish. Try this out. Tell her you bought her some calcium pills because she's over 25 and needs to start helping offset osteoporosis because you want to spend a nice, healthy long life with her. What's she going to think or say? She's going to think that
1. You think she's old.
2. You're telling her she's old and this somehow implies that she's very boring.
3. Not only is she old and boring but you're now interested in someone else.
4. Now, she thinks she knows what other woman you've been aiming for and starts to get extremely upset that you would even think of doing this.
5. She's thinking of ways to skin you alive in a very, very painful manner. (Is there a non-painful manner? I mean, really.)
She may vocalize some of this (or all) and you laugh because of how outlandish it is. Now, you've laughed at her (no, not at what the context is or anything that just transpired) and she's going to go even more berzerk. So, you tell her she's just being a woman AND do not even try to help dig yourself out of the hole that you somehow put yourself in because she's dead set on what she thinks is right.
You read this and wonder who are the fools? Us, men... because we love us some booty and all the fixin's. Ha ha. There's no hope. No hope!
Last edited by fluffer nutter on 6/6/2009 1:36:02 AM
3 up, 0 down
SkantDragon
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:49:19 AM
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Here's my advice. If you're Mr. Vanilla (and it sounds like you are), Ms. Amy probably isn't for you. Kinky people and vanilla people aren't really compatible. You'll end up more and more disgusted with her taboo behavior, and she'll end up frustrated with your vanilla'ness.
You might do better to call it off with her and look up Ms. Courtney again. From what you've described, she may be more your speed.
1 up, 0 down
superjew
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 2:54:54 AM
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By the way, is it just me or are female dental hygienists always hot?
1 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 10:36:58 AM
I wish I lived near a dentist school or something.
4 up, 0 down
SarahPalinMILF
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:49:06 PM
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kevinater321
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 7:02:41 PM
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Sir Shak
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 6:39:39 AM
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Whatever happens , you sure are one lucky guy .
1 up, 0 down
Mr Bitey
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 8:44:47 AM
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A close friend of mine had that luxury once. Believe it or not... he didn't enjoy it. He was dating the one girl steadily for a while. Adding another girl randomly for a fling, just made things weird and complicated.
0 up, 0 down
shadowpal2
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 9:24:26 AM
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Swavey
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 9:34:49 AM
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Fonzo
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 10:30:17 AM
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SplendidBlended
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 11:29:33 AM
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Lol wait. I already knew this.
And, I know this is going to come as a shock to all of you, but not all women are dumb little sluts like MIZZ COURTNEY and MIZZ AMY.
Find someone with a brain, Ben.
And, it's not our fault you all have an emotional range of a teaspoon.
5 up, 3 down
HeXeN
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:00:55 PM
2 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:54:02 PM
In no way did I say all women are like this, and in no way did I try to force anyone's hand at any time. This is ALL the two girls' doing. Now, you can be upset about that because it reflects poorly on your sex, but don't take it out on me. As for my "emotional range," I wouldn't dare compete with me in that category. That's one area I don't lack in.
I LOVE how all women assume scenarios like this are somehow always the fault of the man. In my experience, my dear girl, the people I've met who only care about sex and nothing else are FEMALE.
Last edited by Ben Dutka PSXE on 6/6/2009 12:58:34 PM
7 up, 0 down
Sir Shak
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:52:53 PM
That said , wats up tutz ? / jk
3 up, 0 down
Mr Bitey
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 3:34:10 PM
1 up, 0 down
NiteKrawler
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 11:44:57 AM
P.S. We don't see women as just things to sleep with. By the way, is that you in your pic? If so, you're cute. Wanna sleep with me?
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BikerSaint
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 12:20:21 AM
Er...not all of us are slugs, but I don't mind riding a few hawgs now & then!
(just as long as it says Harley-davidson on the tank).
Oh, BTW I only use the teaspoons to sugarcoat my coffe cup.
But my emotions are big enough to fill a turkey baster(although I've never tried).
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pillz81
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 3:03:54 PM
"Hey Babe, you ever have your a&&h#le licked by a fat man in an overcoat?" Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
How's that for a teaspoon sized emotional range?
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fluffer nutter
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:57:04 PM
0 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 12:56:45 PM
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4 up, 1 down
fluffer nutter
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:05:43 PM
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I am pretty certain that you've already made up your mind and you probably will not look to reason why you would stay here. My suggestion would be to use the gaming aspect of this site, which it was designed for, and solely come here for that so that you do not find these offensive comments and get frustrated by what is presented in front of you. I added my comments in a comical, yet somewhat true, view but did not tell anyone or force anyone to believe that I am the authority on the subject matter here.
I welcome discussions with people that have their own views and my goal is never to force them to believe that what I type or say is right, but rather to get them to understand the other point of view.
Confuscious once said, "He who slaps a woman with one fish, gets a slap to the face. He who slaps a woman with many fish, better get a good head start."
Last edited by fluffer nutter on 6/6/2009 1:07:28 PM
0 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:21:23 PM
Confuscious may have said that, but I say, "women don't ever stop, so don't encourage them."
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fluffer nutter
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:24:02 PM
0 up, 0 down
WorldEndsWithMe
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:44:54 PM
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1 up, 0 down
SarahPalinMILF
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:49:39 PM
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2 up, 0 down
Ultimadream
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 1:51:59 PM
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I wonder if ben's hussies read on this site...
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Robochic
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 3:20:29 PM
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1 up, 0 down
superjew
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 5:25:10 PM
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1 up, 0 down
Alienange
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 9:55:24 PM
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BikerSaint
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 11:16:22 PM
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My take on the situation is that Amy's just too much on the wild side for you.
And that it could wind up causing you many problems later on, especially if you are the more laid-back type as that lets the chips fall as they will(so to speak).
I'm getting the vibe that Amy has either always been BI, or at least BI-curious, so now she's concocted/manipulated this situation to her advantage, by putting you in the middle of it, using you to get into Courtney too.
Don't forget..Amy wedged herself right into the thick of things just by contacting you.
Plus the fact you already said that Courtney knew about Amy doing so, so that means that Amy had already told her ahead of time.
Sound like Amy has produced her own screenplay in her mind & then sat down in the director's chair too, placing you into the cameo male role and then yelled "lights, action........
"CAMERAS ROLLING" .
The only way I see this ending is that Amy kills you off(hopefully, only relationship wise) after she gets the girl, or that our hero walks away, fading right out of her cracked, broken, motion-picture frame for good.
Now Courtney on the other hand, seems to be a much better suitable match.
And remember, she was the FIRST to show interest in you, that should account for a lot of extra plus signs in your "good book".
I'd give Courtney a call-back trying to rekindle that first flame, & just maybe you'll both shine brightly in the glow of those prior sparks.
Now about that dental hygienist, NO, NO, NO, "JUST SAY NO"!!!!!!
That's definitely a bad thing if you two should hook up and then the relationship goes sour.
You'd have to start looking for a new dentist, cause you certainly don't want her to be grinding away at your tonsils with those miniature power tools if she's the slightly-deranged type who seems to enjoy holding long, long, long, grudges.
And I imagine that it wouldn't be the least bit funny what other body parts of yours could suddenly go missing while you're under the spell of laughing gas.
0 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 1:04:55 AM
I'm not really sure what to do right now. I'm hiding for the time being...we'll see what happens.
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fluffer nutter
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 1:17:14 AM
1 up, 0 down
twenty8nine
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 1:51:44 AM
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0 up, 2 down
fluffer nutter
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 2:27:25 AM
1 up, 0 down
Akuma07
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 4:02:13 AM
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BikerSaint
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 12:36:16 AM
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And who knows, maybe "in her mindset", either you didn't protest the 3some, or you didn't protest it enough.
Make the 1st move, call just Courtney and see if you can get her take on the situation now as it stands, and hopfully you can smooth out those ruffled feathers she seems to be harboring now.
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King James
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 12:54:50 AM
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Its kinda like watching a karate flick. Sure you know how the story ends, but you watch it anyway. For what? For the fight scenes, of course. For the action, the SFX, the CG effects! So Ben, with that being said...are you happy with these action scenes? lol.
You know its not done yet, right? There's still some movie left.
I say take the high road and leave them both alone. Or take the scenic route and drop Amy, and get at Courtney. Then see what happens...O and it will be "scenic". Trust.
-KJ
"True Kings Never Die"
Last edited by King James on 6/8/2009 12:59:20 AM
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COBB
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 1:30:37 PM
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Needless to say, embarrassed and pissed off altogether, I threw both the f'in psycho's out
P.S. This wasn't a drunkin one night thing, this had been brewing for a month or 2.
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Zapix
Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 4:48:57 PM
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Ben, all I can say is... Run while you can, while you have legs, while you're still in one piece... While headlines on CNN of "Gaming journalist wakes up like John Bobbit" or we all start calling you Benny Buttafuoco... After one tries to kill the other.
Eitherway, sounds messed up, but about right. As you said, women are not all there up there... But then, as I've said... We live in the same state, and the women around here might be the problem... Maybe.
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LegendarySai
Sunday, June 14, 2009 @ 12:46:06 PM
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Victor321
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Friday, June 05, 2009 @ 11:10:21 PM