Attention Gamers: Hot Girls Aren't Beyond Your Grasp
See that over there? It's a picture of pretty girls. For gamers, especially veteran fans of the hobby, it can kick off a series of emotions that range from fear to anger to sullenness and everything in between. But I'm here to tell you that despite the common differences, the world still loves the often-disproved theory, "opposites attract."
But first of all, let me clarify that although I have experience writing dating and sex advice pieces (name and publication to remain confidential), my personal track record concerning women isn't anything even remotely impressive. You know how there are plenty of divorced marriage counselors? Yeah, same type of thing. But in focusing on the topic at hand, we must first admit to the standard differences between your usual gamer and your run-of-the-mill hot chick. It can be painful, but we need the truth:
1. Hot girls are hot. Gamers often aren't.
2. Gamers are often relatively intelligent. Hot girls...not so much.
3. Hot girls went to the parties in high school. Gamers didn't. Contra represented a Saturday night.
Now, while these three things can be considered major obstacles, there's one thing I've noticed that has been dragging gamers down for years. Look, we're just not confident enough. I worked at EB for several years, and of course, I spend plenty of time in GameStop, considering the work I currently do for PSXE. What I see is depressing: I see gamers of all ages who simply can't look someone in the eye. They mumble, stare at their shoes, look off in the distance, do weird things with their hands, and in general, appear very awkward and uncomfortable. Now, I'm here to tell you that this - this, right here - is #1 on a list of what women find unappealing in a man. And it's not that they associate this behavior with the word "geek" or "nerd" (although that may be the next association); it's that they immediately assume that a lack of confidence equates to a lack of...well, every other social skill.
You don't have to believe me. Look around; read those horrendously insulting fashion magazines. Eye contact is always one of the most important aspects of speaking to women, and as far as I can tell, gamers can't even look a cashier in the eye. The psychology of this phenomenon is simple, and it's not the gamer's fault: as you didn't go to those parties, and you didn't circulate amongst large numbers of people in social situations, your social growth was stunted. Sadly, you just don't have the charm and charisma required. But here's the good news: while looks, intelligence, and money often can't be easily acquired, charm and charisma is something absolutely anyone can learn. Want to override the aforementioned three differences? Want to know the three steps that may allow you to clear those hurdles? Look here:
1. Look people in the goddamn eye and speak in a clear, calm, affable voice.
2. Confidence comes with experience. Just try it more often.
3. Learn to relate to different people.
Oh, and let's not forget: learn to deal with rejection. Even the most successful men still get shot down 9 out of 10 times, but guess what? They talked to that 10th woman that night at the club; they didn't give up after the 6th flopped. It's a matter of honing your personal skills and before long, the large gap between hot chicks and gamers can be bridged. So the next time you and your friends are planning your weekend, and all the options include a TV, speak up and give yourselves a chance to learn. Go out. Go to where singles congregate. Wander around and talk to people. Think it's any more complicated than this? Think you need to watch that silly Player show on VH1 with the dude that looks like a chick? On your way to the club, purchase a spine, and do your thing.
I hesitate to quote "Swingers" lines, but this is for the benefit of all my fellow gamers: "you're so fu***** money and you don't even know it!"
P.S. Just because the PSXE boys own 350Zs doesn't mean that nice sports cars are required...but we have to admit...they don't hurt.
2/25/2009 Ben Dutka