Call Of Duty Doesn't Need A New Engine, It Needs Hot Chicks!
Forgive me, I'm in kind of a weird mood.
I swear this article has a point, though. Just bear with me. And try not to spend too long ogling the picture; if the girls I saw who signed up for the army looked like that, I'd probably be stationed overseas right now.
Anyway, everyone keeps saying Call of Duty desperately needs a new engine. And it does, of course; you can't keep using the same one forever and although the developers have gotten a surprising amount of mileage from the engine that debuted in 2005, it's definitely showing its age. I think that much was obvious in last year's Modern Warfare 3. But wait a minute; let's think about this...maybe the franchise is missing the one thing it needs to vault it into yet another stratosphere.
Yeah, hot chicks. Hot military chicks in fatigues or something. Look, ask any Hollywood director; if you're going to make a movie geared toward the 18-35 male demographic, and it's all about flashy brainless action, it's inevitable that one must also have a hot girl somewhere (or several hot girls, preferably in a hot tub at some point). It's a standard rule in cinema, I swear. So basically, forget about the time, effort and resources required to create a new engine, and just adopt a few God of War-like scenes for the tired war veterans. Take a break from the battlefield and hang out with certain scantily clad vixens. Hey, it's kinda realistic.
What, you think women aren't part of the deal with these guys? What else do they have to do with their downtime? The horrors of war and surviving death must be tempered by soft flesh, yes? Heck, after asking the Hollywood movie guy, ask a colonel about the necessity of morale, and what often heightens morale. So not only would such an addition be strategically sound from a marketing standpoint, it would also make sense.
The most absurd article I've ever written. I'm glad you were here for it. ;)
3/27/2012 9:00:45 PM Ben Dutka