5 Games That Get You Into The Most Trouble With Women
You know how it goes.
Despite your staunch belief that your girlfriend or wife is totally cool with your hobby, and that she's not the "easily offended" type, there are still some games you try to play when she's...elsewhere.
And that's just because such titles are capable of starting arguments. Some can totally ruin the relationship if you let it, but that has more to do with mild gaming addiction. In general, though, here are five games you should just avoid playing when a woman is in your life.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "But it's very mature and quite intelligent; the subjects broached are complex and tricky." So maybe you're thinking playing this one in front of the missus would generate plenty of rousing, healthful discussion. ...big mistake. Even if it does, the subject matter is just begging to explode; it's like dropping a few matches into a big ol' box of fireworks, picking it up, and running at a charging bull. Sure, it might be exciting but the chances of you surviving the encounter are slim.
4. Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball
The problem here is that the focal point of the game is way too obvious. You can't hide behind, "oh, I'm playing this for the...uh..." Now, personally, I did have fun playing it because it was oh so relaxing and I actually enjoyed the gameplay, but I'm not stupid enough to try to convince a human female of that fact. There's quite simply no place to run. On top of which, you run the immediate risk of facing the dreaded, "So you think that's what women should look like?!" accusation, which never ends well.
3. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
This gets you into trouble for completely different reasons. Like World of Warcraft or games of that nature, Skyrim can steal your life away without you even noticing it. It's just so damn massive and engrossing that hours slip away like minutes and before long, you've roused your girl's suspicions. She's heard tell of this nasty thing called "video game addiction" and while you've never showed any signs of the malady, now she's starting to see 'em. And what's worse, you can't really defend yourself because you're having extreme difficulty looking away from the screen.
2. Lollipop Chainsaw
Problems everywhere. You may not have noticed, but many women accuse men of having the same fantasies...and a big one is the ditzy, big-breasted cheerleader who always wears her tight little cheerleader outfit and is quite obviously a world-class slut. Then you've got the general adolescent style of the game, which is intentional of course and should be taken with a tongue-in-cheek grain of salt. But your significant other might just see evidence of a guy who refuses to grow up and in addition, a guy who is just so predictably, quintessentially, depressingly, male. There goes your sensitive mature status you worked so hard to cultivate.
1. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
Confused? Think about it this way- The girl looks at the screen and goes- "Holy fu**, how the hell do I compete with that?"
...oh come on, that's funny. ;)
7/11/2012 9:03:54 PM Ben Dutka