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5 Games That Get You Into The Most Trouble With Women

You know how it goes.

Despite your staunch belief that your girlfriend or wife is totally cool with your hobby, and that she's not the "easily offended" type, there are still some games you try to play when she's...elsewhere.

And that's just because such titles are capable of starting arguments. Some can totally ruin the relationship if you let it, but that has more to do with mild gaming addiction. In general, though, here are five games you should just avoid playing when a woman is in your life.

5. Catherine

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "But it's very mature and quite intelligent; the subjects broached are complex and tricky." So maybe you're thinking playing this one in front of the missus would generate plenty of rousing, healthful discussion. ...big mistake. Even if it does, the subject matter is just begging to explode; it's like dropping a few matches into a big ol' box of fireworks, picking it up, and running at a charging bull. Sure, it might be exciting but the chances of you surviving the encounter are slim.

4. Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball

The problem here is that the focal point of the game is way too obvious. You can't hide behind, "oh, I'm playing this for the...uh..." Now, personally, I did have fun playing it because it was oh so relaxing and I actually enjoyed the gameplay, but I'm not stupid enough to try to convince a human female of that fact. There's quite simply no place to run. On top of which, you run the immediate risk of facing the dreaded, "So you think that's what women should look like?!" accusation, which never ends well.

3. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

This gets you into trouble for completely different reasons. Like World of Warcraft or games of that nature, Skyrim can steal your life away without you even noticing it. It's just so damn massive and engrossing that hours slip away like minutes and before long, you've roused your girl's suspicions. She's heard tell of this nasty thing called "video game addiction" and while you've never showed any signs of the malady, now she's starting to see 'em. And what's worse, you can't really defend yourself because you're having extreme difficulty looking away from the screen.

2. Lollipop Chainsaw

Problems everywhere. You may not have noticed, but many women accuse men of having the same fantasies...and a big one is the ditzy, big-breasted cheerleader who always wears her tight little cheerleader outfit and is quite obviously a world-class slut. Then you've got the general adolescent style of the game, which is intentional of course and should be taken with a tongue-in-cheek grain of salt. But your significant other might just see evidence of a guy who refuses to grow up and in addition, a guy who is just so predictably, quintessentially, depressingly, male. There goes your sensitive mature status you worked so hard to cultivate.

1. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Confused? Think about it this way- The girl looks at the screen and goes- "Holy fu**, how the hell do I compete with that?"

...oh come on, that's funny. ;)

Tags: video games, gaming culture, gamers, top 5 games

7/11/2012 9:03:54 PM Ben Dutka

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Comments (27 posts)

LimitedVertigo
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 9:41:18 PM
Reply

My ex grew up in a house without cable and internet....she viewed any game as a waste of time. I showed her!

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fatelementality
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 9:55:57 PM
Reply

I'm very lucky to be able to say that I have a beautiful girlfriend who likes to play games. We've went through many co-op games together. She actually likes Skryim as well (nowhere near as much as I do though :) She's a WoW nut and has tried to get me into it for years. My response is the same everytime. "Honey, do you have any idea how much lazier I would become if I were to play any MMO???" It's not that I don't want to (trust me, I do). I just don't have enough control to play a game that massive over a long span of time. Let's just say that I have three Skyrim characters and two of them have over 250 hrs a piece under their belts. I can only do one RPG at a time. Nobody has seen me for months. What year is this anyway?

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Sogi_Otsa
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 10:06:36 PM
Reply

If A girl gives me crap about ether. i'll tell her to play them first.

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Sogi_Otsa
Friday, July 13, 2012 @ 8:33:37 AM

DOA-X is crap btw. not much of a game anyway. I'll never add that one to my collection.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 10:14:03 PM
Reply

I tried to explain Catherine to a female friend of mine and she just called me a pervert. Psh.

DOAX is a great game and women should look like that, but the naked patch would probably give me away instantly.

Skyrim: the only safe place to get married :)

LPC is so sweet that it could be used as a girlfriend test, if she gets it then she's cool.

As far as Uncharted goes, how can anyone compete with Chloe?

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Jed
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 10:25:04 PM
Reply

HA

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kraygen
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 10:44:13 PM
Reply

Luckily I have a winning situation. I don't care for games like lollipop or dead or alive, so no problem there. As for Uncharted and Skyrim, my wife likes watching me play them.

I know I'm lucky, that's why I tell people how awesome she is.

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MyWorstNightmar
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 11:19:21 PM
Reply

My wife teases me that I have a bromance with Nathan Drake.

When I got the Vita, she asked (irritated) "why did you get that when you already have the PS3?"

She saw I was playing Uncharted on it, and said "oh, of course you got a Vita".

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SmokeyPSD
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 1:57:30 AM

Awesome :)

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CrusaderForever
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 8:16:57 AM

This^

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shadowscorpio
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 3:41:45 PM

@ WorstNightmare

I literally laughed out loud!

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Jalex
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 @ 11:54:48 PM
Reply

2,3 and 4 I definitely agree with, but it's not a problem personally. I don't play games like 'Dead or Alive' or 'Lollipop Chainsaw', and I moderate the time I spend with any game, but especially the open-ended ones, as it can be difficult to know when to quit.
She knows that even 'Uncharted' can't compare (heck, even 'Metal Gear' can't compare), and I don't imagine Her having a problem with 'Catherine.' Actually, Her main issue is violent video games, which I understand.

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Beamboom
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 12:28:55 AM
Reply

Hehe!
There is actually one game that I seriously avoid playing when my missy is around; Saints Row 3.

Both my coop buddy and I got female characters, and we did not hold back during character creation. They are *hot*. Dang. And the stupid talk going on between him and me during gameplay, combined with the two foxy ladies on the screen that us two grown up men control, well it's simply too much at times.

That, and I never trust what kind of outfit my buddy might come up with changing into next. He's got an eye for sluttywear, to put it that way, and his wardrobe is huge.

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SmokeyPSD
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 1:57:50 AM
Reply

My partner actually thinks Catherine is astounding as a game haha.

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ethird1
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 5:53:28 AM
Reply

Uncharted = Indiana Jones wannabe punkypoo.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 9:55:43 AM

*nose punch*

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Clamedeus
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 11:34:49 AM

I second that World!

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Underdog15
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 7:09:51 PM

*pulls eyelids clear over head and tucks in bum*

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___________
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 6:10:31 AM
Reply

no shadows of the damned?
come on nothing is going to get you into more troubble than stupid lame d*ck jokes!
case in point......
a group of friends and i went to go see ted over the weekend.
the guys were pissing themselves laughing and the girls, well, yeah........
i got in a little trouble afterwards, all i said was well i told you it was directed by the guy who does family guy so what did you expect!?
i love you seth!

have to wonder though how he can make such a funny movie, but his shows family guy and american dad while entertaining, are about as funny as a stick of celery!
i miss the old episodes of family guy!
everything up to season 3 was so funny everything after that was crap!
lock and load brides of christ, ill never forget that episode!

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Underdog15
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 7:10:24 PM

Dude.... no one.... NO ONE... hates d*ck jokes.

Last edited by Underdog15 on 7/12/2012 7:10:40 PM

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___________
Friday, July 13, 2012 @ 11:20:14 AM

everyone hates di** jokes.
well at least those above the age of 10.........

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CrusaderForever
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 8:21:01 AM
Reply

Thankfully I know all of this already and stay way clear of games like LPC and DOAXV. My wife would be upset if she walked in on me playing these games. She'll watch me play Uncharted and Skyrim once a while. But it is always in short sessions. She really enjoyed watching Uncharted Golden Abyss. She thought the touch controls were really cool. Thankfully I have a man cave otherwise it would be tough to game with my PS3 in my house.

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gbhsiris
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 9:59:58 AM
Reply

In my personal experience, I've seen many more marital problems caused by Call of Duty than anything else. Granted the problem was not the content per-say, but the extensive time committed to playing with their friends and neglecting the spouse. Judging by their sales, I would say the incident can't be too isolated...

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jagstatboy
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 11:26:24 AM
Reply

LOL, number 3 happened to me. Put over 200 hours into Skyrim much to my wife's chagrin.

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Sol
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 7:45:55 PM
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I know quite a few women that love Uncharted 3 actually, so that one I find less believeable.

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VampDeLeon
Thursday, July 12, 2012 @ 8:26:05 PM
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Uncharted 3 would make your partner want to batch up and eat some popcorn while watching you play.

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Banky A
Monday, July 16, 2012 @ 5:21:16 AM
Reply

ive never heard of a girlfriend what are they?

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