How To Score A Chick: Gamer Rule 101
Perhaps it'd be egotistical - and certainly inaccurate - to say that any gamer guy can land a chick if he applies himself. Perhaps this isn't the case, especially considering the history of the hobby. For the most part, the pale, friendless virgins in the arcades weren't exactly burning up their senior prom, nor can they now considered to be master pick-up artists.
However, you guys need to strike while the iron's hot, and that time is now. Maybe you're not into the whole music/rhythm scene, but you can feign interest for the express purpose of getting closer to a hottie of maximum proportions, yes? Look, this explosion of Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and SingStar has appealed more to the ladies than any other innovation, revolution, or advancement in the video game industry. Take a look around. The aforementioned games are huge at parties these days, and these are the very same parties the geeks couldn't dream of attending way back when. They could've tried, but if they had brought up gaming ("Hey, you know I beat Shinobi today?!"), they would've been punted out the front door by one of those insufferable jock types. The girls would all laugh, and you'd run home to tackle the impossible Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts. Oh, it's okay to look back on it now; you're a mature, fully grown adult who has since had his fair share of women, right? Okay, if not, pay attention.
Many of those former jocks and cheerleaders are now playing the hell out of Guitar Hero: World Tour and Rock Band 2. Now, a party isn't a party unless there's some virtual interactive music experience, and yes, the women are participating. You may think you need to practice in order to impress the chicks, but if so, you've learned nothing in your years of maturehood, my friend. It doesn't matter if you suck; all that matters is that you like what she likes, and nothing is sexier to a woman than beating a guy at a music-based video game. If you don't believe me, you simply haven't tried it. Furthermore, as time goes on, it becomes clearer and clearer that these music games act as gateways to other titles, which means those girls are more likely to compete in something that doesn't include a plastic instrument. Never before in the history of gaming has there been a time when women factor more into the audience. They're here; you just need to know where to look.
This isn't difficult, guys. Not only is gaming a shadow of its former self - in this particular case, that's a good thing - but its newfound mainstream appeal can really help you get lucky. Before, gamers would have to find a way to circumvent their favorite pastime in order to get close to a girl ("oh...you play video games...?" followed by the insulting giggle). These days, they just wanna know if you have Guitar Hero at your place. Hell yes, you do! The modern-day Player still needs the traditional standbys like wine, soft music, candles, and the like, but he doesn't ignore the changing times. Get yourself one of those chick magnet games we're talking about, put it in a corner, and leave it there until you need it. Those things are instruments all right...in more ways than one.
10/28/2008 Ben Dutka