Attention Gamers: Hot Girls Aren't Beyond Your Grasp
See Full ImageSee that over there? It's a picture of pretty girls. For gamers, especially veteran fans of the hobby, it can kick off a series of emotions that range from fear to anger to sullenness and everything in between. But I'm here to tell you that despite the common differences, the world still loves the often-disproved theory, "opposites attract."
But first of all, let me clarify that although I have experience writing dating and sex advice pieces (name and publication to remain confidential), my personal track record concerning women isn't anything even remotely impressive. You know how there are plenty of divorced marriage counselors? Yeah, same type of thing. But in focusing on the topic at hand, we must first admit to the standard differences between your usual gamer and your run-of-the-mill hot chick. It can be painful, but we need the truth:
1. Hot girls are hot. Gamers often aren't.
2. Gamers are often relatively intelligent. Hot girls...not so much.
3. Hot girls went to the parties in high school. Gamers didn't. Contra represented a Saturday night.
Now, while these three things can be considered major obstacles, there's one thing I've noticed that has been dragging gamers down for years. Look, we're just not confident enough. I worked at EB for several years, and of course, I spend plenty of time in GameStop, considering the work I currently do for PSXE. What I see is depressing: I see gamers of all ages who simply can't look someone in the eye. They mumble, stare at their shoes, look off in the distance, do weird things with their hands, and in general, appear very awkward and uncomfortable. Now, I'm here to tell you that this - this, right here - is #1 on a list of what women find unappealing in a man. And it's not that they associate this behavior with the word "geek" or "nerd" (although that may be the next association); it's that they immediately assume that a lack of confidence equates to a lack of...well, every other social skill.
You don't have to believe me. Look around; read those horrendously insulting fashion magazines. Eye contact is always one of the most important aspects of speaking to women, and as far as I can tell, gamers can't even look a cashier in the eye. The psychology of this phenomenon is simple, and it's not the gamer's fault: as you didn't go to those parties, and you didn't circulate amongst large numbers of people in social situations, your social growth was stunted. Sadly, you just don't have the charm and charisma required. But here's the good news: while looks, intelligence, and money often can't be easily acquired, charm and charisma is something absolutely anyone can learn. Want to override the aforementioned three differences? Want to know the three steps that may allow you to clear those hurdles? Look here:
1. Look people in the goddamn eye and speak in a clear, calm, affable voice.
2. Confidence comes with experience. Just try it more often.
3. Learn to relate to different people.
Oh, and let's not forget: learn to deal with rejection. Even the most successful men still get shot down 9 out of 10 times, but guess what? They talked to that 10th woman that night at the club; they didn't give up after the 6th flopped. It's a matter of honing your personal skills and before long, the large gap between hot chicks and gamers can be bridged. So the next time you and your friends are planning your weekend, and all the options include a TV, speak up and give yourselves a chance to learn. Go out. Go to where singles congregate. Wander around and talk to people. Think it's any more complicated than this? Think you need to watch that silly Player show on VH1 with the dude that looks like a chick? On your way to the club, purchase a spine, and do your thing.
I hesitate to quote "Swingers" lines, but this is for the benefit of all my fellow gamers: "you're so fu***** money and you don't even know it!"
P.S. Just because the PSXE boys own 350Zs doesn't mean that nice sports cars are required...but we have to admit...they don't hurt.
2/25/2009 Ben Dutka
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Comments (111 posts)
ps92117
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:08:53 PM
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2 up, 0 down
Neurotoxiny
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:15:38 PM
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I'm lucky.
0 up, 1 down
Orvisman
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:32:32 AM
My wife is smokin' hot!
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Xplicit
Sunday, March 01, 2009 @ 6:02:54 PM
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SerendipityDeus
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:15:47 PM
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Lmao I'm decent when it comes to girls, although it wouldn't hurt to get some more practice in here and there
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Scarecrow
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:20:58 PM
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I still agree though, that good eye contact and being less shy helps any gamer
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BigTonesAUS
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:30:17 PM
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1 up, 0 down
Xplicit
Sunday, March 01, 2009 @ 6:05:34 PM
Dating is mainly about being someone your not and trying to get girls to like you, with girls it should be her falling for who you are otherwise, once you stop acting you WILL get caught out and then DIVORCE and all that crap comes screaming in your face.
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somethingrandom
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:32:33 PM
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On topic: Most of the 'hot' girls I know own a gaming system. I don't know many chicks that haven't tried Rock Band or Guitar Hero.
My older sisters are big fans of racing games, and my younger one sticks to games like the Sims. Of course, they do this mainly on PS2. :)
1 up, 0 down
monomilkman
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:35:17 PM
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definitely a good article and one i can relate to, i like how you guys have been interweaving life and games lately, makes this site even more interesting than it already is
2 up, 0 down
PS3_Wizard
Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 12:02:56 PM
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somethingrandom
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:35:23 PM
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Last edited by somethingrandom on 2/25/2009 11:35:47 PM
2 up, 0 down
www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 5:50:30 AM
If u haven't then that's some serious sh**.
U should be able to get a lotta hot girls with that Mustang since i dated some hot girls in the past hiring taxi cabs wherever i went to.
That Mustang is a big advantage.
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somethingrandom
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:32:04 PM
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Quincho
Sunday, March 01, 2009 @ 8:04:25 PM
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bxshotboi
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:45:36 PM
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2 up, 0 down
bxshotboi
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 11:47:31 PM
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1 up, 0 down
WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:43:46 AM
1 up, 0 down
JiggleBeetz
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:13:07 AM
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" all it takes is confidence "
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Advent Child
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:32:21 AM
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2 up, 1 down
DragonSphere
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:38:04 AM
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That explained all the "huh?"s I get sometimes when trying to explain something to people, which I then would have to repeat. It's not as bad now, but it does happen a lot more often than I'd like.
Last edited by DragonSphere on 2/26/2009 12:38:40 AM
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rell
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:50:46 AM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:45:59 AM
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Arvis
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:10:45 PM
I thought if people saw your lips, you had to kill them?
-Arvis
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Cpt_Geez
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:41:31 AM
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2 up, 1 down
Gone
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:23:42 AM
PS "Girls have cooties!" - Bart Simpson
1 up, 0 down
Ultimadream
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 2:26:04 AM
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1 up, 0 down
Fenrir
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:00:12 AM
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I myself never cared about feminism or womens sexual revolution or things like that. I always treated them like a gentleman should treat a lady (though some were bitches at all). But I was still aware, that I´m a, or better, the man. I was secure about my role and why women want a man, need a man.
That and my intelligence made it rather easy to have loads! of fun. Now I´m married and my wife and I are a really happy couple. (And she´s hot :-))
I would advice teens like: If you feel you don´t share the public attitude on partnership or sexual behaviour - just go your own way, don´t let them confuse you. Stay with your attitude. Because beeing consequent is also a big attracter for women!
2 up, 0 down
Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:15:10 PM
2 up, 0 down
Fenrir
Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 3:30:19 AM
I´m looking forward to what´s upcoming in social development in the future - I think it is damned time something happens. World has technically boomed the past 200 years, but socially we´re stucked to middleage.
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ceedot
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:00:55 AM
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ceedot
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:02:17 AM
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www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 5:22:53 AM
Here,the Nerds study A LOT n don't F with games or parties and the gamers luv the parties n don't perform well in class.
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Godslim
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 5:35:32 AM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:47:42 AM
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Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:12:59 PM
Personally, I think "loser" is a better term for those with the stunted social growth. It sounds harsh, but I think it's fitting because most of the people who fit this stereotype have given up on themselves and just kind of resigned to being nothing. Giving up on yourself makes you a loser in my book.
But, no, not every gamer is going to fit into one of these groups. One of my best friends is a gamer and he gets UNBELIEVABLE amounts of ass. And I do mean SIMPLY NOT BELIEVABLE. On top of that, he's the best FPS player I know. I mean, it simply isn't fair. Every time he would slaughter me at CoD4, I'd just be like, "Dude, this isn't right. You're not supposed to be good at video games AND get all the women."
I'm convinced he sold his soul to the devil.
2 up, 0 down
www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 2:54:45 PM
LOL!....Troy that's just what am saying,most of my peeps are gamers,there's this one who beat FFX in less than 2 weeks whiles i was still struggling,n i must admit that this same hardcore gamer gets more ass than me!
Heck Bow Wow,the Game etc spend so much time behind xbox live n psn respectively,but they aren't nerds.
Seeing as every site is worldwide,the word "nerd" can't apply to us all.Like you suggested "loser"...lol...that's kinda harsh and hilarious at the same time.
Next time i'll try not to let such articles bother me.
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Godslim
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:05:07 AM
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dveisalive
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:56:17 AM
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www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 5:40:25 AM
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I have to repeat this again,the nerds here DON'T touch games or party,it's all study for them.
The gamers go to the parties n don't really enjoy studies.The gamers will usually talk about the parties and games they are playing currently, in school.In fact gamers here HATE books or anything to do with studies.
I have never and will never be a nerd.Iv'e gone to all the parties in high school.I got too many hot girl numbers on my phone than i can handle thus i even delete some.
Anytime i see such articles,am offended cause it's like am put in the same category with the nerds.
Just the heading put a frown on my face,though am sure it wasn't directed to me but some true nerds on this site.Hot girls are definitely NOT beyond my grasp.If there is anything i luv more than games is women but for now i put games first cause trust me, iv'e been there done that and i know women can sometimes be trouble,headache or pain in the bottom.
1 up, 3 down
Jackyl
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 7:45:03 AM
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If it is one thing to remember, is that those chicks, there looks are a dime a dozen. Vapid hot chicks are easy and aren't usually worth more than the casual lay.
I'm not saying it is cool to objectify these kind of women as sex objects/toys. But all too often what else are they good for and doing so makes it all the more easier to succeed in getting what you want out of them.
Last edited by Jackyl on 2/26/2009 7:45:37 AM
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chaosrunner
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 8:14:27 AM
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Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 8:15:41 AM
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Tim
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:10:41 AM
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chaosrunner
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:44:03 AM
Even a lot of socially able people have trouble when it comes to talking to girls, especially those with a high degree of physical beauty. Why is it wrong for a gaming site to explain to its audience (gamers) that they aren't out of reach.
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Tim
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:11:24 AM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:49:19 AM
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www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:05:13 PM
"Huh! Who said i can't date a hot girl?"....cause am a gamer and that heading is pointing directly at me.
I think it shoulda been...
"Attention NERD Gamers: Hot Girls Aren't Beyond Your Grasp"
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Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:22:17 PM
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The Stig
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:37:47 AM
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Dont get me wrong, the advice you are giving is good.
PS. The girls in the pic are skanks.
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Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:23:17 PM
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coverton341
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 2:01:03 PM
EDIT: not the blonde chick on the right she looks like she has been used once too many.
Last edited by coverton341 on 2/26/2009 2:04:53 PM
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raidtimedope
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:09:48 AM
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so you can pin point all gamers in this category
cuz most of my frends and me dont fit in this one,
"3. Hot girls went to the parties in high school. Gamers didn't. Contra represented a Saturday night."
i went to a lotta parties in high school matter of fact everyone of them, the girls are kinda surprised if i tell em i like to play video games a lot but that doesnt really matter cuz im upfront about it, i say i rather play a game than watch a movie
and like Thrax said is true
"I'd say back in the day that this could have been true. But now a days a gamer can range from being the shy never leave the house virgin type right up to out evey weeked gettin a different girl every night type."
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:27:21 AM
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Secondly, you can slam your head against the stereotype all you want and call it false. You all forget that I certainly don't fit the stereotypes, either. It's great that you don't fit the mold, but all I ask is that you stand in GameStop for a full day and watch the customers that come in and out.
...I'm sorry, but all stereotypes are grounded in truth, until the foundation is shattered. We're moving in the right direction, but it hasn't happened yet. Many avid gamers out there are still socially inept; step up, be a man, and just accept it. If you're NOT socially awkward, than good for you. Doesn't change the fact that what I see in GameStop (or what I hear online) doesn't translate well to any social scene.
2 up, 0 down
WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:52:54 AM
Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 2/26/2009 10:53:08 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:59:48 AM
1 up, 0 down
www
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:37:50 PM
I'm well aware your society is very different,honestly am SURPRISED the nerds are the gamers over there,am shocked.
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LimitedVertigo
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:37:39 AM
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0 up, 2 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:38:56 AM
1 up, 0 down
bdizzle
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:38:33 AM
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Ben, great article, guys go get'em
BD
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:39:29 AM
0 up, 0 down
Troy Powers
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:26:13 PM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:56:25 AM
Reply
Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 2/26/2009 10:58:37 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:58:45 AM
People put way too much emphasis on rejection. You don't know that person; you'll never see that person again; they're not going to run around to everyone you know and humiliate you. Bottom line is, they'll forget about it in 10 seconds and although it's harder to forget for you because it's more personal, just rationally view the situation. ...it ain't so bad, really. ;)
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Gone
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:05:53 AM
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Last edited by Gone on 2/26/2009 11:10:40 AM
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WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:11:15 AM
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Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 2/26/2009 11:14:41 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:15:30 AM
And THAT'S why I'M money.
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BeezleDrop
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:25:47 AM
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BTNwarrior
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:58:30 AM
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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 12:34:25 PM
1 up, 0 down
maxpontiac
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:05:04 PM
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In my 16 years of marriage (happily), I have learned this -- Make sure the woman (aka - object of your affection) will accept you for who you are. If she is someone you feel the need to lie to, or cover things up with, in all reality she is not worth the time.
1 up, 0 down
Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 2:44:44 PM
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maxpontiac
Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 10:35:22 AM
I just felt that what I posted should have been included in your "Dear Abby" article.
Anyways...Killzone 2 is GREAT.
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Arvis
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:29:39 PM
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I had next to nothing in the way of attention from females all through high school. In college, I got a date with "the prettiest girl EVAR" but screwed it up completely because I betrayed my insecurity like a wuss. We she dumped me after one date, it was like waking up. I asked myself "Why do I care so much about what girls think of me?" So I stopped caring. Subsequently, zillions of college girls mistook my indifference for confidence, and I couldn't keep them off.
And before you ask, I am by NO MEANS a good looking guy. Imagine a cross between DJ Qualls, Neil Patrick Harris, and Casper the Friendly Ghost. That's what I look like.
Anyways, amazing how you can strike up a conversation with ANY girl for no other reason than, deep down inside, you just don't give a crap how she'll react.
-Arvis
1 up, 0 down
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:36:27 PM
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Arvis
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 2:51:33 PM
Tricky, but doable.
-Arvis
Last edited by Arvis on 2/26/2009 2:52:02 PM
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Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:20:36 PM
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Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:34:56 PM
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Take some time to watch the Discovery Channel. And look at the mating rituals of mammals. As you will soon find out you have to be able to protect the women from the saber-tooth tiger. And the females know who can fight this beast. They have muscles, chiseled chin, they are tall, and are obnoxiously confident(serves as mating dance).
And guys look for the woman who is most suitable for producing healthy offspring. They know this(from instinct) that the lady must have large breasts(for feeding), nice butt(sign of being able to retain healthy fat) and several other things that there are plastic surgery for.
Happy Hunting!
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bigrailer19
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 1:41:57 PM
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@Xeele yea isnt it great how girls go for ass holes then u hear the complaints.
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LimitedVertigo
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:11:41 PM
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coverton341
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:45:50 PM
I don't think anyone can force themselves into being something other than what they are. I for one can't imagine being homosexual, not that there is a damn thing wrong with it I am all for choice and am very vehemently anti-homophobic but I don't think that any one lifestyle is easier or harder. I have good friends that are gay and one of them complains that the only thing out there for him are hook-ups and party boys, and he would much rather have a long lasting relationship that was meaningful and not a one-nighter. I also have a friend who has fallen victim to AIDS from party boy mentality. This is not to say that these things do not plague the straight people I am just saying that with any lifestyle choice there are inherent and equal hardships.
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smileys_007
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:45:44 PM
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same thing with me, i never had a girlfriend since i was born.. i hope i can find my first girlfriend this year.. sigh.
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Bugzbunny109
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 3:56:06 PM
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ShamRock
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:01:17 PM
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LimitedVertigo
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:11:26 PM
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1 up, 0 down
ShamRock
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:13:08 PM
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BeezleDrop
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 4:56:23 PM
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1 up, 1 down
SplendidBlended
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 5:01:08 PM
I'm sure it's very easy to pick up one of these girls.
I mean, all you need is confidence, right?
Who cares about intelligence. Psh!
0 up, 0 down
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:24:26 PM
sorry, don't hit me!
plus, they're not THAT hot anyway.
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Dewi47
Monday, March 02, 2009 @ 1:27:29 PM
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LimitedVertigo
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 6:48:57 PM
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SubjectiveTruth
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 7:10:46 PM
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I don't see why playing games has to change the rest of your life. So what if I play games? I also,love dirtbiking(over all else),snowboarding,skateboarding,drinking etc.,just hanging out,swimming, watching movies, etc.,etc...
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ps92117
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 9:42:26 PM
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If you don't like her than why marry her? I'am not marrying my gf anytime soon but I would imagine that in order to marry her I would have to still be liking her, else only economic purpose be involved in the marriage. I would think such a marriage would be a dull one. Lol but I have very little experience in this things so you might be correct.
Last edited by ps92117 on 2/26/2009 9:46:32 PM
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LimitedVertigo
Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 10:54:58 PM
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Scarecrow
Reply
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 10:56:07 PM
Haha gotta think of of a FPS game
You gotta Killzown them!
I agree with Ben completely