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Can Video Games Really Affect Your Sex Life?

So there's this study that "proved" the majority of men prefer playing video games over having sex. I put "proved" in quotations because they used adrenaline as the determining factor (and I'm fairly certain there's a lot more involved with both activities, especially sex), and also because there were only 100 participants.

Believe what you will, but I believe it raises an important question: as gaming becomes more mainstream and as more and more individuals are becoming involved with the hobby, other forms of entertainment can - and often do - take a back seat to the interactive video goodness. Furthermore, given the vast increases in realism and authenticity, we've never felt more immersed or absorbed; the experiences are becoming more intense with every passing year. Now, let's tack on a few more elements as they relate to our current society: I think it's obvious that we are, as a country, in a critical state of health and there have never been more people who aren't physically capable of sex. Then there's the increased sedentary lifestyle, which far too many embrace, and such people tend to gravitate towards gaming...perhaps even more than sex. Lastly, I'm of the firm belief that an enhanced emphasis on the pseudo-communication via electronics has caused the entire society to become developmentally and emotionally stunted. Traits like charm and charisma seem to have all but died.

You may not agree with me on this last point (and many will not), but the bottom line is that we may be less acquainted with intimacy and closeness than ever before, which, in and of itself, has a direct impact on a sex life. And if we conclude that gaming is a hobby that tends to promote more sitting and less activity, along with its spiking popularity and the declining health of the populace, perhaps gaming does indeed affect sex and relationships, either directly or indirectly. Now, this may be using more of that nigh-on useless psychology degree of mine (and less of any gaming knowledge I may have), but perhaps it's worth talking about. As a topic of conversation, it's bound to be...interesting.

5/25/2010 9:35:03 PM Ben Dutka

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Comments (130 posts)

to_far_apart
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 9:58:26 PM
Reply

If you let video games affect your sex life, then I'm sorry. Gaming is a hobby to me, if you let it take away from some of the most important things in your life, then I don't know what's important in your life.

I understand people may have addictions to gaming along with the many other addiction in the world. And maybe your are at a point in your marriage or relationship where intimacy isn't the center fold of the relationship, but I wouldn't let gaming affect my life. Whether it be my social, work, or personal life. Addictions come in many forms, and I for one understand the psychological and/or emotional part of these addictions, and if that's a case, maybe the need to see someone about these addictions. As for those who pass up on sex with a person you care about, or any social interaction outside the 4 walls, then I would say you need to wake up, gaming isn't the world, it's fantasy, which undoubtedly is a key reason to the addiction.

But I'm not and expert on the subject, just thought I'd give my 2 cents.

Last edited by to_far_apart on 5/25/2010 10:04:43 PM

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arv1102
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:50:20 AM

the only thing is.. if you dont pay attention to your girl...LOL

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WorldEndsWithMe
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:06:15 PM
Reply

Got to agree that we are all on a social decline as an actual life and real world social skills get kicked down the road in favor of texts, tweets, and facebook. Want proof? When I was growing up you had to excuse yourself from your current engagement with some suitable pleasantry to take or make a call. Now people will answer a call mid-sentence. Makes me sick.

As far as the sex thing goes, I suppose anything could disrupt that, but I don't think games are likely to cause a big problem unless your woman particularly hates it when you play your games and wants to punish you. Then again if you lay around all day playing games and begin to approach the size of Gabe Newell, you might not get much sex.

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to_far_apart
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:27:30 PM

Totally agreed.

And you would be lucky if you could make that call, it was very uncommon to interrupt meals and so on. But you're right, the social aspect in life is being depleted by the second. Texts and Instand Messaging contribute largely to this, in my opinion. I don't know about anyone, but when I like a woman, I make it a point to see her, and if I can't I call her, nothing better than hearing a voice on the other side. Unfortunately, all you see today is a bunch of ignorant kids with no manners, disrespecting authority, stuck to their phones like if it was there livelihood, etc. Society is to blame, however, when social media such as television, movies, and music just make these moments and behaviors accepted in general society, not to mention the parents who don't take responsibility and let them run free and wild.

I don't know about anyone, but one good smack in the mouth or belt sure set me straight. Looks to me like we could use a little more of the "tough Love."

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:39:26 PM

I agree with all of it. Just as a note, though, I'm not talking about video game addiction. I'm just talking about if someone is an avid gamer, might it affect their sex life.

But yes to all the rest.

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laxpro2001
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:50:08 PM

And an extra big yes to being as big as Gabe Newell being bad for your sex life.. what a fat turd

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Qubex
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:01:47 AM

Loool World, poor Gabe... Shrek the 4th!

Q!

"play.experience.enjoy"

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fluffer nutter
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:59:48 AM

If people are interrupting you mid-sentence to answer a call then I have to say that you're hanging out with the wrong people. That's just disgusting. If that happened to me, well, then that's just one person less that I need to associate with.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:04:00 AM

I meant their sentence but whatever, people are rude anyway. Answering texts all the time and whatnot.

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Bugzbunny109
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:07:47 PM
Reply

I personally think that men choose gaming over sex because it is more rewarding. For example, if you get past a boss you have been battling for 3 days straight, you will feel a sense of completion and elation. Sex is great and the excitement is great, but after the 5 minutes (yeah you all don't want to admit it. I can go for 30 minutes :P), you don't have that same feeling of completion. Well I don't... We don't have sex to complete having sex; however, we have sex for enjoyment, but that enjoyment does not last after the action. We play games for both enjoyment and completion, and when we are done, we can always think back about overcoming a great challenge. To me THAT is very rewarding. Still..........sex is great XD
Still, regardless, we men should not ignore our women because they have these things called “feelings” lol, I kid. But really, a game should not be as important as your woman regardless of how rewarding it is.

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bxshotboi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:35:58 AM

u prove a good point cuz sumtimes i have sex just to let loose but after that the funs all over and unless sumtin really interestin happend during a round of sex itll probably just be another regular night as compared to beatin a game that might have taken forever you feel relieved afterwards in a different way and honestly if a person has sex only for 5 mins there is sumtin really wrong

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nogoat23
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:16:46 AM

Maybe if there was a trophy system for sex it would be as enjoyable as gaming. ("Did you platinum that girl yet?" "No, I have to finish my speed run without getting hit. Then I'll be done.")

I'm kidding, of course. The above idea is pretty much the worst idea ever.

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bridgera
Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 3:08:24 PM

Well, when you're young, sex is exciting, after you had it 100x, well then it's less exciting.

And this next sentance has nothing to do with video games, but I just don't get the intellectual stimulation from sex, if I'm not challenged (at anything), it's hard for me to keep interest.

Other things do keep my interest, such as video games, but I can only have so much sex.

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Alienange
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:13:56 PM
Reply

I also believe that reading PSXE news at 10pm is having a detrimental effect on many people's sex life. I mean really, do you HAVE to release great articles like this during the "love hour" of the night?

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Bugzbunny109
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:21:30 PM

lol tienes razon.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:27:19 PM

Not sure about all that but I know for a fact that coming here and reading and posting cuts into my gaming time. But if I didn't stay up to date I wouldn't know about all the great games I have so ya gotta give to get. Hmm, a bit like sex.

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to_far_apart
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:29:27 PM

hahah good one

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:40:03 PM

Bah. Love hour is much later than 10, isn't it? You can wait. ;)

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Jawknee
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:02:47 AM

2am for me. :)

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ace_boon_coon
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:56:59 PM

9 pm for me then i'm knocked out

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totozero18
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:00:06 PM

WTF is with the stablished hours??? JUDAS PRIEST!!!

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ace_boon_coon
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:12:39 PM

the established hour happens when you're married or in a long relationship lol

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:18:18 PM

You guys only give love an hour?

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:29:51 PM

I heard it can be done in 30 minutes

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:07:14 PM

Is it the unions that make you take that much time off?

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Nlayer
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:40:41 PM
Reply

I do think it affects it. I mean, I myself usually play video games instead of talking to girls because they don't seem to be interested in what I have to say(Anime, Manga, Movies, Video Games; Girls don't care around where I am). And plus, all my friends have online girlfriends. Because it's more beneficial for them to have an online relationship, which means no sex for them.

Heck, I may even try to get an online relationship because it seems like it would be best to find someone with the same interests as me. Entertainment has driven me and my friends away from sex basically. =/

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bxshotboi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:38:48 AM

i dont really think thats the route u and ur friends should go cuz webcam suks your best bet would be to go to a anime or game convention cuz hey thats my first stop if things get worse between me and my woman

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DemonNeno
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:00:21 PM
Reply

I think gaming is just a piece of a small puzzle that does indeed hamper some peoples' sexual lives. However, most of those people have unlying issues that started far before they ever made such a decision. We have to face it, gaming does its share of hurt.. If it's used in the wrong manner.

I know, call me crazy! "How can gmaing" be used in the wrong manner, Neno?! Well, people veg out doing it. And only it. It's so easy to sit on a couch and game as long as you can, ignoring life around you. Like a misused drug.

Does gaming interfere with sex? I'd be one to vote nope! If my partner is with me and I know she's not fond of me wrestling a controller for hours, or at times for even half an hour, I move on. If you're having a problem putting down the controller to satisfy your mate, mentally and physically, then I'd venture to say that you're probably not that attracted to him/her.

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Dancemachine55
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:07:41 PM
Reply

Really? Games over your girlfriend/wife/significant other?

I'll admit, I've never had a girlfriend before, but I do continue to try. I often feel a longing to spend more time with someone rather than time with something (my PS3).

I guess if you're at that stage of your relationship that the intimacy is near dead, then I can see a valid reason for some preferring video games over sex.

But using adrenaline count as a base to make that claim is completely wrong. You don't have to have a degree in psychology to know that drawing that conclusion from a study of 100 guys and measuring only adrenaline is completely unproven.

What about the rest of the masses who might have a PS2 and a handful of games who play it once a month?

What about the preferences of the participants in the study? What if they were to compare video games to sex based on preference?

And for a more accurate study, shouldn't the participants play the best game available, ie Uncharted 2 or Mario Galaxy 2, and have the best sex ever with a supermodel to make an accurate comparison? Followed by a playthrough of the worst or most unengaging game ever (Game Party on Wii) compared to sex with a highly undesirable woman?

That study would be far more accurate and would have far more participants willing to do it for free. :P

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Highlander
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:28:51 PM
Reply

Ben, I think you have hit the nail on the head. Truly I think this is a hugely important topic, possible one of the most important we face in today's society.

As we draw away from each other, and away from face to face communication, away from people and towards avatars we lose many things. I live in an ordinary neighborhood, but I couldn't tell you the names of *any* of my neighbors. The thing is, I'm certain the same is true of all my neighbors.

But, I think this goes beyond the health impact of sedentary hobbies, it goes beyond the impact on our ability to be intimate with each other (emotionally intimate). As we move away from each other, becoming more and more insular on our little electronic islands we cease to care about each other. We don't care about anyone or anything unless it affects us, and on our increasingly small island we become fearful of everything else, becoming more insular as time passes.

I've seen this change happen during my life time. I grew up before the internet, before video games and VCRs, before CDs and before DVD. When I grew up kids played outside, played with each other, and knew each other. Neighbors knew each other and even socialized. When something happened to one of our neighbors we cared.

Things have changed since then. And the electronic cocoon we have surrounded ourselves with stops us from making contact again. We have online friends that we talk to safely, safely knowing that because we are not even using our own name, we can anonymously flame the crap out of them without worry, and we can say whatever we want without anyone who knows us knowing.

This electronic cocoon has not, on balance, been a good thing, and I think that we are at a critical point where our physical and emotional, (perhaps our spiritual) well being are under threat.

What do we do next? Turn inwards and rely on our technology for comfort, and use our fear and anger to preserve us? Or do we turn outwards and use our technology in ways that build up and enhances our lives and our physical and emotional health?

A wise book talks of maintaining a balance in all things, perhaps we need to remember that when we are into our fourth hour of a gaming marathon?

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to_far_apart
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:49:54 PM

Couldn't have said it any better Highlander.

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Qubex
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:11:04 AM

I feel as you describe Highlander... I actually don't particular like the world out there that much, except for you guys here as there is a common understanding... there are probably plenty of us who feel similarly...

My biggest gripes are, that socially, I feel that it can be one huge waste of time and resources... it really does cost money and time, and as I age, I am becoming jealously guarded with my time (or the time I have left); making sure I don't have to do unnecessary things, create unnecessary pressures for myself, and cause unnecessary costs for myself too.

Time, money and effort... this you need to build and keep a social circle, or build and keep (and manage - because it is hard work) a going relationship... I really couldn't be bothered.

I don't mind a very close circle of 3-5 people, my close trusted friends.

Even though I don't interact with all of you on a social level in physical form, there is still a connection and respect, and that is why if we were all in one room together, it would be a great experience talking about our gaming experiences and hobby ...there would be an immediate connection, and deep friendships would be made... and I am sure hold the tests of time...

So many things can just waste your time, honestly... I think people need to really be decisive about the social structures they build around them, and the amount of energy and effort one puts in a relationship... because, if it doesn't work out... what do you have left?

Q!

"sex.over.rated"

Last edited by Qubex on 5/26/2010 12:12:07 AM

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Scarecrow
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:34:09 AM

Agree with every one of Qubex's points.
There's a lot of decision making in life. How much time and money one will dedicate to forming something meaningful with someone else. Babes surely waste you a lot of time and money, sometimes it doesn't even work out either.

Not to say that we wouldn't pursue future relationships etc. But at the same time I think some become more intelligent/intolerant of how a potential gf is just wasting them their time.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:58:41 AM

Well, Highlander, I think it's safe to say you are officially my long lost brother. ;)

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fluffer nutter
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 1:05:10 AM

I wouldn't blame technology for "making" people what they are today but would rather understand that people were like this and now we can see how clearly they are mostly ignorant, stupid, fat and lazy. I'd like to thank Technology for showing me who I should be in contact with and whom I shouldn't be so "Thank you, so very much". I can relax and enjoy life with people who don't waste my time. :)

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:00:24 AM

@Ben, well...now you mention it, do you have a liking for fine single malt whiskey and fast cars? They must be family traits... ;)

@Fluffer,
I think technology is neutral. Human nature drives us to exploit it the way in which we do. However, the point is that the seductive allure of the technology gradually pulls us in. There is a lot of research into various modes of communication, but in terms of the actual communication of information, the effectiveness of communication, do you know what the least effective is?

Email.

Communication between human beings is about word choice, inflection facial expression, body language, subtle changes in tone and pace. And yet we use what form of communication most in the working world (and increasingly in the social world)? Email. Email only sends words. No inflection, no gesture, no expression, no tone of voice or pace, only the words. MIsunderstandings are easy. Not to mention the old "I didn't get the email" ploy. Worse still is texting where words are replaced by cryptic abbreviations. Even less information is transmitted because word choice is limited to words that are short or can be abbreviated.

Telephones at least allow tone of voice, inflection, and pace to be discerned. Even though it's an order of magnitude better than email, the phone still misses the most important element of communication. Facial expression and body language.

How do you know if someone is lying to you, or trying to mislead you, or be completely honest, or any of a million other modes of expression without being able to see them?

If I remember correctly, the person presenting this information rated each mode in terms of how effective it was. Face to face is 100% effective, phones are less than 25% effective and email less than 10% effective. To be honest I think the %s are immaterial, it's clear when you consider how much you sacrifice going from face to face to telephone and then on to email and texts.

The point being that electronic technology for communication has made it possible to communicate with people all over the world. Unfortunately it's made it possible to mis-communicate all over the world because so much is lost by using email. Imagine how much worse it gets when the people communicating use different languages and the text has to be translated.

Any way, my point is that the technology has allowed us to strip all but the most necessary elements from communication, but in doing so we remove the human element.

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AcHiLLiA
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 8:33:32 AM

Agreed (reply on the first post), + considering all the lazy overweight people we have in this world.

Last edited by AcHiLLiA on 5/26/2010 8:37:44 AM

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:13:38 AM

@ Highlander *raises hand* big scotch family over here!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:17:20 AM

Highlander: Well, I don't drink, but I did have that 350Z for a while. ;)

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:22:41 PM

I thought Ramza was your long lost brother Ben ;)

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totozero18
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:56:00 PM

*GASP* 350Z *bows*

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:03:31 PM

I wish a 350Z was in my purchasing plans (or rather a 370Z) however being a parent means I have to have less lofty goals...

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Qubex
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 8:59:37 PM

Thanks Scarecrow... yes... it does take half ones life to release certain things... but when that light goes on at the back of the brain... your decision making processes, tolerance levels and general attitude toward life evolve radically... you do eventually become... a different animal!

Q!

"dinosaurs.evolved"

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Shams
Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 2:36:09 PM

Highlander, very good piece on human communication and technology. My absolute favorite so far from you...My favorite bit was you're conclusion: about technology not allowing us to communicate all over the word, but allowing us to miscommunicate all over the world. I genuinely LOL'ed.

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SmokeyPSD
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:30:17 PM
Reply

I dunno, maybe it's cause of my age and my group of friends, but this kindof talk is working against what gaming is in society right now, approaching the mainstream and acceptance. Just another way to pass the time. Sex is apart of a healthy normal relationship, why would gaming cut into that? it certainly doesnt into mine.

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Scarecrow
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:30:22 PM
Reply

It's like World says, it's not entirely on games. It's more of a society problem. There's the whole cellphone era/instant messaging era that's really detrimental to social life.

No longer are face to face moments important. Now it's about how creative you can be through text messages. A lot of times babes seem to prefer IM than a phone call, weird I know.

But it's not entirely on games either. The media has a lot to do with it as well. There's too much influence from all the reality shows and all the bull you see in movies.

You know what v-games affects? Crime. There's a lot more people shooting it up in Call of Duty than on the streets. Don't quote me on this though, just what I think.

V-games is a hobby, people mostly engage on it when they have time for it.

Overall it's society which is at fault here with its "let's do everything through technology" mindset.

Last edited by Scarecrow on 5/25/2010 11:32:02 PM

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wakkaoaka
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:46:04 PM
Reply

Video games improve your coordination. Coordination is crucial if you wish to be a demon in the sack. If you turn into a wow addict... that will definitely eliminate your sex life though. Balance gaming with life like a hobby instead of an addiction :)

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Milonakis
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:50:15 PM
Reply

I don't have a sex life, but when I do I guarantee you my female ManBearPig is getting it bear style and the game will wait.

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Scarecrow
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:58:03 PM

lol "manbearpig" and "bear style" haha!

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:00:24 AM

Does a bear f*ck in the woods?

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Milonakis
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 1:04:34 AM

Oh you know I do it in the woods, as well as on the farm, and in the sack. It's a sweet life.

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coverton341
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:52:35 PM
Reply

I think that the fact that my ex-fiance wanted to sleep with other dudes had a detrimental affect on my sex life. Four years out of the dating game and trying to get back into it while juggling a full time job and working on Med School has a way of making you re-realise your virginity.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:00:43 AM

ouch man, just ouch.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 1:00:06 AM

...why do I keep thinking that abstaining from sex somehow encourages the brain to work better? It CAN'T be true, and yet...

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:08:17 AM

Well Ben, there was that one Seinfeld episode where George got really smart...

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:18:02 AM

LOL I was thinking about mentioning that episode in the post!

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coverton341
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:46:51 AM

I think abstaining makes me personally more distracted and therefore less intelligent by default. Maybe not less intelligent but I sure can't concentrate with all the beautiful women in my classes.

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totozero18
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:03:50 PM

That's just cuz of the sex drive, abstinence has nothing to do with it, well not nothing...but man I've had huuuuuge dry seasons, it may take a bit to get used to but, once you do it, you can use the time you used chasing girls and intercourse on something else like reading books learning karate or playing guitar,...which, will get you to meet a girl and...you see where I'm going, it's a vicious loop :S

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donfelipe
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:52:58 PM
Reply

Its the other way around, sex infringes on my gaming time. I have to come to bed at a decent hour if i want some of that sweet sweet lovin'.

But I can't play anything overly violent when the kid is awake either. Decisions decisions......

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:02:05 AM
Reply

So it seems that if you don't have a sex life currently, gaming may cut into it because you may be gaming instead of trawling for mall ass or whatever your past time is. But if you have a significant other then you make time for both. That sound about right?

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:07:43 AM

Hmm, that depends on what kind of sex one is having. Love-making or tying somebody up and attempting to split them in half.

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:45:43 PM

I was never a fan of "The Nutcracker".

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maxpontiac
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:07:02 AM
Reply

This all comes down to the choices an individual makes.

For example, when it comes to having a healthy long term relationship, sex is all but one piece of the puzzle.

If you allow video games to interfere with your partner's needs, there will be consequences in the bedroom!!

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Jawknee
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:07:28 AM
Reply

I can honestly say i have only chosen games over love making maybe twice in my life time and it was only because i was stuck on a hard part and was determined to complete it.

For the most part though it has not damaged my "relations" with my wife. I can see how it can, but i have enough self control so far to know when gaming time ends and the loving time begins.

Last edited by Jawknee on 5/26/2010 12:08:25 AM

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:14:47 AM
Reply

My top 5 in order of importance....

1. Sex
2. Gaming
3. Sex
4. Gaming
5. Sex

Then I'll have a cigarette, & try to sneak in another gaming quickie!



Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/26/2010 12:16:19 AM

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coverton341
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:49:41 AM

High five!

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:56:49 AM

I've never really enjoyed gaming quickies. It always gives me that unfulfilled feeling.

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bxshotboi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:28:52 AM
Reply

well i start off by sayin im 20 with a good job a newborn son and live wit my girl and gaming does affect my life tremendously!!!!!! not necessarily my sex life since i would never turn down my chance to have fun but my over all relationship is being destroyed because of it..... I'm like many others that relax by playing games since its my #1 hobby. i like to get home after a night of work and play games to relieve the days stress and because of it i hear my girls annoyin ass botherin my and getting on my last nerves. now im stuck askin myself if im wrong to go home and play games and relax or if my girl is a crzy woman who doesnt understand me and is looking to kill me....ALL BECAUSE OF GAMES

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Scarecrow
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:37:24 AM

Something common is that babes that are not into games see v-games as a "kid's hobby."

This is what can kill a marriage/relationship. She basically doesn't respect your choice to play v-games after working your ass off all day.

Yet, if you were to call her stupid for watching 2 hours of dumb TV shows she'd get mad.

There's a lack of respect and understanding going on there.

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bxshotboi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:45:34 AM

cuz i know theres times i need to spend family time and i do but when she complains about me playin anywhere between 2-4 hours every day i lose my temper and would much rather go for a walk alone and besides im mad i cant have sex yet since she still hasnt recovered from the pregnancy

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fluffer nutter
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 1:01:20 AM

Wow. Someone has issues.

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:39:39 PM

lol do what I did. It worked wonders.... WONDERS.

Instead of getting mad at someone for not understanding, conduct an exercise that assists in developing a mutual understanding of free time. Actually, as a rule, never react to your partners presumable lack of understanding with anger. It won't accomplish anything. Nothing worse than developing an environment where everyone is on edge when you get home because she feels she can't talk to you when you play games because you'll just get angry. Similarly, avoid situations where you'll feel angry or short-tempered at something as minor as her talking to you while you play a game... all because you each assume the other will react a certain way and are entitled to their own version of rights.

Anyways, in terms of that exercise, do what I did. Jess (my wife) thought games were childish and I think she might have even expected me to sort of stop playing when we got married. I think she thought it was just a college activity for me. lol. Nope. I've been playing games since I was 4. Not stopping now.

Anyways, I would often argue with her about it. She would claim it's childish, and I would say it's far more productive than some of her shows she watched. So we compromised. I had to spend 2 hours watching shows she likes, and she had to play 2 hours of games with me.

The shows were "John and Kate plus 8" and "Say Yes to the Dress". You all think the first is lame... the latter was painful. At any rate, I didn't insult her shows (don't do that.), but I asked passive questions the whole time. Like... "So, basically the show is about selling and finding the perfect wedding dress?" "Why would they spend 5k on a dress?" (My wife spent under $150 at a store in Arizona. It was beautiful.) And my favorite question which generated the best discussion... "Why do you watch John and Kate if it makes you so mad?"

In the end, she asked me what I thought. I avoided saying things like "It's stupid." and put together much more convincing arguments about what the shows teach, and commented on how I'm no further ahead in my own cognitive development than I was initially.

Guess which game I picked for 2 hours?

Common guys. It's easy!



Figured it out yet?

Heavy Rain. (Obvious, no?)

Anyways, she LOVED it. In fact, we ended up playing through the whole game from start to finish within a week. Now, she respects the fact I occasionally need alone time, and because I appreciate that, I make more of a point to spend time with her BEFORE playing games.

I definitely don't recommend going straight to the games. Every day you should greet your partner with a hug n' kiss. It doesn't hurt to say you missed them or thought about them at some point. Also, ask them how their day was and then get this.... listen.

Believe it or not, putting in that time to focus on the things that actually matter most will result in more leisure and game time. Plus, you'll enjoy it without having to get your back up.

Edit: Also, my sex life is better with marriage than before. I don't think my methods are off kilter.

Last edited by Underdog15 on 5/26/2010 2:43:43 PM

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totozero18
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:34:30 PM

@Underdog: Heavy Rain vs Say yes to the dress???
C'mon man that's pretty unfair, seemed more like pro-gaming brainwash as I read through your comment...HIGHFIVE

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Scarecrow
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:31:09 PM

Underdog's a genius!

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:26:29 PM

@totozero
ya no kidding, eh? Hardly a fair fight. I was pretty confident. I knew all about the shows she watched, but she had never invested time into seeing what my games were like. No doubt she would /sarcasm/ LOVE /sarcasm/ what I wrote there. lol

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Hezzron
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:46:36 AM
Reply

What are we trying to do here? Keep the stereotype alive that gamers are nothing but a bunch of basement virgins?

Hey PSXexteme! I'll have you know, I happen to live on the SECOND floor of my parent's house!

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:58:54 AM

HA.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:04:17 AM

hahaha

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:57:55 AM

But does your mom bring you pie?

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:16:18 PM

Hezzron,

Sounded like me too at one time.

I'll bet you also keep your bed spring's well oiled & your girl muffled like I did, so your parents won't hear you two break-dancing under the sheets.

I had to to take off the headboard too, cause we were becoming indirect percussionists.
Although I must say, the headboard had a nice heavy metal beat going as it was also banging away to all of our rhythms.

I knew it was time to move out when my parents commented about some strange long climatic drum roll they kept hearing all night.

Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/26/2010 12:17:17 PM

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Robochic
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 1:31:44 AM
Reply

U could always game and have sex @ the same time? multi-tasking its great to know how to do it LOL!!

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nogoat23
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:33:11 AM

Is that why the Play Station Move is shaped like that?

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King James
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:34:55 AM
Reply

Wait...doesn't that depend on how good the sex is?

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Club80
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:55:29 AM
Reply

If there are ever any Hentai games with PlayStation Move support, I wonder if the problem will get better or worse? Hmmmm

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Godslim
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 5:38:42 AM
Reply

tbh there are lot of people who play games like me who go out with mates and stuff every weekend and enjoy games sumtimes but i feel sorry for those who are way too much into gaming that they dont do anything else i actually know someone whos like that its like ps3 has taken over his life

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JackC8
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 8:14:48 AM
Reply

I don't know if video games effect your sex life, but marriage certainly does.

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gumbi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 8:51:14 AM

HA, after nearly a decade... I think I have to agree. Although when I think about it, and it's a bit ironic, having kids affects your sex life far more than that little ring on your finger. Nothing kills the mood quite like *knock knock* 'daddy, i ha a bad jeem'

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:03:12 AM

@gumbi

LOL! Spot on!

Four words that can halt you in your tracks;

"Is the door locked?"

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fluffer nutter
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:26:37 AM

My kids have never interupted us. I guess I should be thankful.

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 11:03:08 AM

We've trained ours to knock and wait...just in case.

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:01:12 PM

Knock and wait? How many times have you had to clean the floor in front of your door?

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:19:58 PM

Marriage made it better for me. We're still Dink's (Double Income No Kids), so can't speak on that one.

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gumbi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 8:59:38 AM
Reply

You nailed it Ben.

And Highlander, you're the man. You can trust that many of us feel the same way, and share similar opinions, but few can put it to words like you do. Props.

The decline of real communication skills has been a hot topic to me for some time now. I offer a toast and a firm handshake to both of you.

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TheAgingHipster
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 9:33:21 AM
Reply

Of course, let's not forget those of us whose wives have fallen into the dreaded "no sex rut" and thus play video games to fill the sexy void.

Oh, Heavy Rain, how your interactive lovin' fills my lonely nights....

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fluffer nutter
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:28:00 AM

Put on a Ronald McDonald costume and head to the bedroom. I bet that'll get her engine reving again.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:29:41 PM

No, try a Santa Claus costume.

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TheAgingHipster
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:07:27 PM

Well, clowns terrify her, and she hasn't responded to my Yuffie costume, so maybe Santa will have more luck.

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NoSmokingBandit
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:08:43 AM
Reply

Of course. Anything can negatively affect an aspect of your life. Hell, having too much sex can negatively affect your sex life.

Like all things in life, gaming should be taken in moderation.

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Deleted User
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 10:38:54 AM
Reply

I consider gaming a hobby, I play every now and then. If a game is affecting your sex life, then man oh man, drop the controller, go for a jog, and come back ready to go with your woman.

To much of anything isn't good for you.

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nogoat23
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:12:51 PM
Reply

I love 'conversation starter' articles like this one. It always leads to interesting comments.

Can gaming affect your sex life? Sure. The simple fact of the matter is that when two things compete for the same resource, they can't help but affect one another. The resource here being time. If you spend all day doing one activity, you will have less time for the other.

However, I don't believe that gaming is the cause of our society's increased isolationism. Do you remember that window of time when gaming existed, but the internet didn't? I didn't spend my time watching youtube videos or updating the statuses on my various social network profiles. I spent it at the neighbors house seeing if we could get the blood code to work in Mortal Kombat. Gaming helped me be social.

People spend so much time on the internet these days. That is what I believe is negatively affecting our society more than anything else.

The internet is a great thing. We have more information at our fingertips, and it is easier to keep in touch with friends from around the world, but the internet is also relatively new. (I mean in the grand scheme of things. When you look at inventions that have changed our society forever, cars, electricity, etc., the internet is a pretty recent thing.)

I imagine that when television was invtented, all people did all day was watch tv. It was new. It was fun. It was exciting. It used up all your time and left less time for friendships. Then when people got used to it, they were better able to moderate how much tv they watched.

I think it's the same with the internet. People are so excited about it that they want to spend all their time on it, and that can negatively affect relationships.

There's no replacement for human interaction, and soon we'll go back to that place (if most of us are not there already) where telling people face to face about what is happening in your life is preferred to updating your status online.

Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:03:58 PM

Oh, agreed, it's not gaming itself that causes the isolation that is occurring. But I do believe that more recent aspects of gaming - specifically online play and chat - facilitate the isolation of people. Of course it's not gaming alone, it's all the newer 'super efficient' kinds of communication. Internet, email, cell phones, fax, etc... All these technologies that reduce or remove the need for face to face human contact.

One of the key elements of developmental disorders such as autisum is the inability to understand social cues and read the emotions & facial expressions of people. With the increased isolation and accompanying decrease in face to face human contact I wonder whether we are breeding a generation that's so stunted in their emotional growth that they could - in this way - be considered developmentally delayed.

I am not sure what the answer is, I suspect some will say that more technology, or perhaps more mature technology is the answer. I don't think so. I think the answer is more human contact. However in this hyper efficient world where we are all tiny cogs in the great machine that continues to accelerate it's pace whether we like it or not, I don't know how we can increase the amount of human contact.

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nogoat23
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:40:49 PM

Agreed. I liked your earlier post about effectiveness of different types of communication.

Personally, I like email the best because a) spell check is slowly teaching me how to spell; and b) when I forget everything that I was just told, I can refer back to the email to remember.

However, I must agree that email cannot come close to the nuances of communication contained in a face to face conversation.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:17:32 PM
Reply

Well, I'd just like to say I'm wearing one of my favorite t-shirts right now; plain white and in simple black lettering:

"Some people have a way with words. Others not have way."

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:23:32 PM

"All your smart shirts are belong to Ben"

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:30:34 PM

I'm both of those people sometimes :)

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:05:06 PM

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't. Which are you?

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:32:03 PM

I'll give you $15 for your shirt.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:00:50 PM

No way. I wear it proudly.

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Qubex
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 9:01:03 PM

That is actually a very good saying... you should take a picture of that shirt Ben and put it up!

Q!

"play.experience.enjoy"

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BikerSaint
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:21:55 PM
Reply

Nogoat23,
Certainly agree with your "internet" comment.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:36:19 PM
Reply

What about my video game sex life?

Honorable mentions go to:

-Madison, Heavy Rain
-The massage scene in FFX-2, Yuna & LeBlanc
-Aphrodite and her handmaidens, GOWIII
-Tifa, FFVII (Yup, after you spend that first night in the bar a lady outside says she "saw you two together" the night before.)

And I wouldn't have minded the view Sazh got of Vanille when following her up (The fool turned his head) but it was worth a giggle :)

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:52:58 PM

For some reason, I want to add that tavern barmaid from Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance...she never did anything but still...

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:06:43 PM

Shion, white shirt, Xenosaga 3. 'nuff said.

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Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:32:02 PM

Um...can I take KOS-MOS instead? Shion always felt...illegal.

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Alienange
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 3:32:45 PM

"handmaidens" indeed.

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Highlander
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:09:04 PM

@Ben,

LOL! Bad man. Shion's supposed to be in her 20's.

As for KOS-MOS, not sure she had any scenes in the games, but I know she's had some scenes in the minds of gamers. If we're simply listing babes in games that we're quite partial to then I have to list Shion, KOS-MOS, Sophitia, Cassandra, Ivy, Xinghua and many, many more

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TheAgingHipster
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:09:17 PM

Well done, Alienange. I approve.

Ben, every female character in every JRPG ever made feels illegal. (And for the record, maybe "feels" is the wrong word? ;) )

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TheAgingHipster
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:10:03 PM

@TheHighlander: Jiggle physics make me blush.

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:54:08 PM

Jiggle and bounce physics in anything DOA= premium content.

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FlyingKickPunch
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 5:34:28 PM

@ World - you also scrump Tifa after Cloud's coma when everyone goes off on their own, and Cloud and Tifa stay at the airship and sleep together, and Tifa gets mad that the other members "were watching" and gets all embarrassed. At least that's what I got out of it. ;)

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:15:20 PM

You're right Tao, almost forgot about that scene.

As far as Shion goes, I dunno why but I dig chicks with glasses.

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KNG201
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:20:08 PM
Reply

@pic....nice shoes...very sexy!

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KNG201
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:23:08 PM
Reply

im a advid gamer and i will be d@mned if I dont get me some...if i could have sex all day I would never play video games like I do....

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CaptRon
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 4:27:07 PM
Reply

all I know is I have been gaming my whole life and not bit of it has affected my sex life. I've put in my time with too many crazy chics, so now I just use them for sex...I've never had trouble getting any action just because I play games. But maybe that's jus me...

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FlyingKickPunch
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 5:55:55 PM

In your avatar, are those the beer goggles you used?

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WorldEndsWithMe
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:15:57 PM

lol, good one.

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Underdog15
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 6:27:31 PM

lol... u use chicks? Isn't that like... manipulative solicitation?

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Alexeon
Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 1:06:35 PM
Reply

I dont have much of a sex life as it is but I can say that it has affected the common alternative to it, if you know what I mean. I have had many days where Id rather play until Im too tired to do anything and just go to sleep.

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Richy
Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 4:45:57 AM
Reply

hello ...

sorry for being late, been a bit off everything.

i believe in giving priority to what's really important in life.

After reading all the comments here, i can say that i have hope for humanity, it's easier to fight an enemy we know & works best when we are motivated.

a particular hat off to comments :

TheHighlander
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 11:28:51 PM

&

Underdog015
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 2:39:39 PM

I consider myself lucky that my wify doesn't see gaming for kids (she plays on the PC while i'm on the PS3 LOL!) .. we do find time for each other.

as for the impact of technology on social life, well like a few mentioned already, nothing is good when in excess.

it's our task as parents of today or tomorrow to make sure our kids don't fall into that trap.

cheers!

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iSayuSay
Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 7:45:41 AM
Reply

Of course video games can affect my sex life. With all hot women: Bayonetta (i dont like the games too much though), Lightning, Vanille .. it's really hard not to be affected by their presence on your flat screens

While you look at them .. wow, they're hot, sexy, wear tight pants and most importantly .. they are badass who kicks villain's face out of their butt

So, yes .. video games female characters are fabulous, we can do a lot of fantasy about them .. and please be sure of this: your girls will never be as good looking and badass as bayonetta

Last edited by iSayuSay on 5/28/2010 7:46:23 AM

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