How Twisted Metal Can Outsell Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

No, no it's not impossible. Not at all. Really.

It's very likely that Activision's new blockbuster will top the 20 million sales mark, as Black Ops has already done. As Twisted Metal is only on the PlayStation 3, more than 1/3 of the PS3 owners on the planet would have to buy it for the impossible to happen. That's the first big hurdle.

And here are some options for overcoming the other hurdles:

-- Put a crisp $100 bill in every copy of Twisted Metal.

-- Charge $200 per copy for Modern Warfare 3.

-- Tell Oprah to promote Twisted Metal.

-- If you beat TM, you don't have to pay taxes for a year.

-- If you play MW3 for more than two hours, your console will melt.

-- If you buy MW3, the clerk gets to throw rolls of quarters at your head for an hour.

-- Promote TM as a weight-loss product. Nobody will care if it doesn't make any sense.

-- If you buy TM, David Jaffe will come to your house and play a game with you. If you buy MW3, David Jaffe will come to your house and take a sledgehammer to every video game system you've got.

Anybody else have some bright ideas? We have to make this happen. Just because it'd be funny.

P.S. In no way am I ragging on Twisted Metal, and in no way am I saying Modern Warfare 3 will be a bad game. If you can't find the humor in this, you take things way too seriously.

Related Game(s): Twisted Metal

Tags: twisted metal, cod, mw3, modern warfare 3

7/1/2011 9:22:51 PM Ben Dutka

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Comments (52 posts)

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Riku994
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 9:44:42 PM
Reply

People could realize theyre buying the same crap year after year..

28 up, 2 down

TheCrazyMerc
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 4:08:47 PM

^This.

3 up, 0 down

Dreno
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 9:46:20 PM
Reply

If you buy tw, david jaffe will take you water boarding.

If you buy mw3, david jaffe will water board you.

21 up, 1 down

Dreno
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 9:55:28 PM

Oh I thought we were giving funny ideas. Although I could understand how some might not find my comment funny. My bad.

But when I said jaffe would take you water boarding, I ment like he'd take you wake boarding or somthing.
And for the other one I ment what it says.

But I ment it to be like a play on words.

But if you don't find it funny, I apologize.

0 up, 1 down

Dancemachine55
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 8:02:46 AM

I think the large number of thumbs up is a good sign there. :)

4 up, 1 down

Fabi
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 11:58:28 AM

Haha

0 up, 0 down

Lawless SXE
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 9:48:27 PM
Reply

Yeah... okay. Was not expecting that.

How about a counter promotion that states that MW3 degrades the brain? Or playing TM will guarantee a lottery win in the near future?

2 up, 1 down

Oyashiro
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:04:12 PM
Reply

Promise that if you buy TM, SE will maybe consider a remake of FFVII... If the fans want it that is.

2 up, 0 down

main_event05
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:10:54 PM
Reply

Everytime someone buys MW3, a Kitten explodes.

Everytime someone buys TM, Bill Gates gets explosive diarrhea.

When you buy TM, you get +25 exp points.

Last edited by main_event05 on 7/1/2011 10:12:47 PM

15 up, 0 down

main_event05
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:14:44 PM

Oh, I get it now.

they could package TM with real modified cars.

2 up, 0 down

Bugzbunny109
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:27:46 PM

Lol!

0 up, 0 down

Xombito
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:22:23 PM
Reply

If you buy TM you get a voucher for a free copy of the Twisted Metal Collection HD! If you buy MW3, Activision will charge you on top of what your already paying for the game for the transaction.

Last edited by Xombito on 7/1/2011 10:27:50 PM

14 up, 0 down

kevinater321
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:11:39 PM

wait a minute....that sounds like it could happen...

Last edited by kevinater321 on 7/1/2011 11:12:00 PM

9 up, 0 down

Temjin001
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:26:48 PM
Reply

As interested as I am in MW3, yeah, deal with it, I do want to play TM more. So, really, that's reason enough for Activisions cash cow to be toppled. Yep, the world revolves around me =p

1 up, 0 down

Bugzbunny109
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:27:05 PM
Reply

How about getting every retailer to tape Call of Duty as the title, and Twisted Metal as the subtitle on every copy? They will never know what hit them. (*Rubs hands together* Excellent...)

7 up, 0 down

Kiryu
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:42:22 PM
Reply

Twisted Metal another Epic PS3 Exclusive on the way!

2 up, 0 down

Kiryu
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:44:10 PM
Reply

I have got an Uncharted 3 Beta code from my Infamous 2 buy.Anybody want it?

Last edited by Kiryu on 7/1/2011 10:44:19 PM

0 up, 1 down

mexgeo86
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:54:18 PM
Reply

Alright I think I know:
Step 1: Make enough copies of Twisted Metal
Step 2: Have a helping of bacon
Step 3: ????
Step 4: PROFIT!

8 up, 0 down

main_event05
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:23:11 AM

I actually had an audible laugh at that.

0 up, 1 down

Killa Tequilla
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 10:55:03 PM
Reply

If you buy Twisted Metal you get a mini Justin Bieber barbie.

0 up, 15 down

sirbob6
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:07:53 PM

I do believe that your demographics are ever so slightly off.

8 up, 0 down

556pineapple
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:00:15 PM
Reply

If you buy MW3, you'll have a sub-par, short, single-player experience and be forced to play online with a bunch of (most likely) immature, over-competitive gamers which will suck all the fun out of it.

Oh wait...

16 up, 0 down

jdt1981
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 3:00:11 AM

Dang, you beat to it. Well said.

3 up, 0 down

Jawknee
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:25:50 PM
Reply

Sony would be wise to do a PS3 Twisted Metal bundle.

9 up, 1 down

AcHiLLiA
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:38:30 PM
Reply

hahaha at that line, "If you play MW3 for more than two hours, your console will melt" could happen on the 360.

12 up, 0 down

BikerSaint
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:50:10 PM
Reply

If you buy COD, you'll be making Dickie Kotex "Mr games hater" alias "Mr I'd jack up prices if I had my way" even more filthy rich!

If you buy twisted metal, Jaffee will start on another game that much sooner!

Last edited by BikerSaint on 7/1/2011 11:51:15 PM

11 up, 0 down

Crabba
Friday, July 01, 2011 @ 11:53:53 PM
Reply

If you buy MW3 you will have to pay a subscription fee for premium online services. Oh wait...

If you also buy MW3 for the console that will likely sell the most copies of said game you will have to pay an additional $50 per year just to play it online. Oh wait...

7 up, 1 down

NLCanada
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 12:08:50 AM
Reply

Very funny article. Twisted metal in all seriousness should be a decent game and sell fairly well. COD on the other hand will continue to sell like crazy. In no way am I a huge call of duty fan, but I am a fan. It's so easy to just hop online and have fun with friends for an hour. Man, I love the Chopper Gunner.

0 up, 0 down

kingjose
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 12:12:35 AM
Reply

I think tm will do great a lot of ppl wait til the last min to reserve it and then those of us who just walk in

0 up, 0 down

LimitedVertigo
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 12:16:45 AM
Reply

The COD crowd has beaten me. I've grown too old(wise), become too busy, and now too cynical to invest the time it takes to comprehend why such a mediocre game like MW can sell millions with each new installment.

It's bad enough losing my favorite genre of gaming(rpgs) to this action/platforming rubbish. Now my 2nd favorite genre(fps) are all wanting to replicate MW in some way. @#$#!@#%

Last edited by LimitedVertigo on 7/2/2011 12:16:51 AM

8 up, 1 down

SnipeySnake
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:32:38 AM
Reply

"Promote TM as a weight-loss product. Nobody will care if it doesn't make any sense."

LOL that is hilarious, made my day right there.

Here's one: Have common sense.

1 up, 0 down

Milonakis
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:34:32 AM
Reply

Make the cover of twisted metal Obama riding a jet ski with spinning gold rims.

1 up, 0 down

BTNwarrior
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:35:34 AM
Reply

I am sorry but no matter how many logical ideas we can come up with MW will still sell more. Why? Because logic has nothing to do with MW being successful

5 up, 2 down

FatherSun
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:46:20 AM

Your absolutely right. Its not Logic.. Its dark magic.

6 up, 0 down

FatherSun
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 1:38:30 AM
Reply

Microsoft gets a 360 Twisted Meta Bundle and Sony gets a......wait for it....A PS3 Modern Warfare 3 Bundle.

Last edited by FatherSun on 7/2/2011 1:40:09 AM

0 up, 7 down

souljah92
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 2:17:59 AM
Reply

if you buy mw3 david jaffe will send a sasquatch to molest you, if you buy tm david jaffe will send jennifer lopez to molest you

6 up, 0 down

jdt1981
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 3:11:51 AM
Reply

If you buy MW3 you'll be locked in a room for 4 weeks where you're forced to listen to Justin Bieber 24/7.

6 up, 0 down

Zorigo
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 3:17:33 AM
Reply

TM?
Um, get like half of ps3 owners to buy U3 and thats a better idea!

1 up, 2 down

___________
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 3:52:37 AM
Reply

how about if you play MW3 your not allowed to play anything else but DNF for the rest of your life?
i cant think of anything worse then that!
in fact id rather fall victim to a nutcase like jigsaw then ever touch that atrocity ever again!
randy should be ashamed for putting his name on that, and even more ashamed to let the first series he ever worked on reach fans like that!
putting your name on sh*t is one thing.
but letting sh*t out that you started your career off.
thats just stepping over the line!
by 1000 miles!!!!!

2 up, 1 down

Nas Is Like
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 5:42:04 AM
Reply

This was one of the best articles I've read on here. Judging by the title, I thought it was a serious article and I went in expecting some good attempts at convincing me that Twisted Metal to actually outsell Modern Warfare 3.

Kudos, Ben. Great read, and the replies have made it even better.

4 up, 0 down

RebelJD
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 6:19:52 AM
Reply

LOL, love the humor, I really do. *high five*

1 up, 0 down

Excelsior1
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 6:24:53 AM
Reply

i do worry that this game won't sell.

2 up, 1 down

sunspider13
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 7:41:52 AM
Reply

If you buy MW3 you win a swift kick to the head.
If you buy TM you get to give a swift kick to the head to the person who got MW3.

5 up, 2 down

Deathb4Dishonor
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 8:00:51 AM
Reply

If you play MW you get exploding diaharrea...
If you play TM, Kotick gets crabs

5 up, 0 down

Dancemachine55
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 8:05:28 AM
Reply

Jaffe just has to say this...

"You can still shoot things in Twisted Metal, but now there's vehicles to ride or fly around in, and bigger maps!!! Why pay for the same thing again when you and your friends can do something similar yet very very different?"

0 up, 0 down

Dancemachine55
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 8:06:51 AM

Buy Twisted Metal, win a golden PS3.

Buy MW3, get a first gen Xbox 360 with a red ring.

5 up, 0 down

nogoat23
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 11:26:34 AM
Reply

Haha, I clicked on this article expecting some rational arguments about how it could happen. These are better.

2 up, 0 down

Nas Is Like
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 12:47:28 PM
Reply

Let me give it a try.

If you buy MW3, there's going to be a squad of paintballers shooting you every time you play it.

1 up, 0 down

Veitsknight
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 2:58:18 PM
Reply

This made me laugh.

How about if you buy TW, you get PSN+ for free for a year but if you buy MW3, you will be charged with the CoD prestige thing for 2 or 3 years and gets extended with every new CoD title and the catch is you can not cancel the prestige thingy.

2 up, 0 down

NiteKrawler
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 9:21:24 PM
Reply

Nah. Still won't work. ;)

0 up, 0 down

Jian2069
Sunday, July 03, 2011 @ 4:02:56 PM
Reply

-- Charge $200 per copy for Modern Warfare 3.

I honestly dont think this would be a very effective strategy. Grubby little douchebags would still buy the shit, it would just make 3 times as much money...

0 up, 0 down

nilos95
Monday, July 04, 2011 @ 3:16:41 AM
Reply

If you buy Twisted Metal David Jaffe comes to play with you. If you get Modern Warfare 3, you become friends with Kottick(before he sells you as a slave)!

1 up, 0 down

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