PS3 Reviews: Tony Hawk: Ride Review

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Tony Hawk: Ride Review

More Game Info (Print This Article)

Graphics:

 

5.0

Gameplay:

 

4.0

Sound:

 

8.0

Control:

 

2.0

Replay Value:

 

2.0

Online Gameplay:

 

1.0

Overall Rating:       4.0

 

 

Publisher:

Activision

Developer:

Robomodo

Number Of Players:

1

Genre:

Sports

This, here, is the end of a franchise. The absolute rock-bottom. It is the equivalent of a Hollywood star getting caught slinging racial slurs, or going crazy and shaving their head. This is Tony Hawk RIDE, and from the moment the gaming world saw it, we knew it was destined for failure. It always sucks having to write reviews like this, because I know that somewhere within Activision someone is going to see it and get a bit miffed. And I'm not the type of person who enjoys hurting feelings, but I am the type of person who likes to tell it how it is. And quite frankly, Tony Hawk RIDE is a gimmicky joke.

Activision has taken this once great franchise and demolished it with a sledgehammer. Instead of doing what EA did with SKATE, Activision thought it'd be a better idea to bundle it with a poorly designed, barely functioning skateboard deck and tell people it's "loaded with technology". Except it's not. You get absolutely no joy in using this lousy excuse for a controller, because all you do is make lame gestures, most of which look nothing like the trick you're actually executing on screen. But it's bad enough that the experience is completely half-assed, but if you want to pull certain tricks off successfully, you have to refer to the list of tricks every time and see which gesture pulls off which trick, so you'll be pausing quite often. And then when you do resume the game, chances are you won't even get the trick you wanted. Wanted to ollie? Nope, how about a manual, instead? Still not what you wanted? Okay, a kickflip! No? Hmm...you just want to ollie, eh? Yes! Fifth time's the charm.

But perhaps the most frustrating aspect to this experience is the amount of lag between your motion and the actual execution on screen. It is seriously jarring just how slow this game is to react to your movements, which really makes the whole skateboard controller utterly worthless. Why spend $120 on something that doesn't even respond fast enough? Isn't this thing supposed to be loaded with technology? You know what's astonishing? I actually got better results when I lifted the thing off the ground and used my hands. So there you have it, the big and bulky skateboard controller is better in your hands, than your feet.

The game features a campaign mode...which is actually pointless to even talk about seeing as how the game isn't even playable. So why bother explaining a campaign mode that no one will even play? Speaking of things no one will play, because the game is such a commercial failure and so colossally bad, there is barely a soul to find online. So scratch that off the list too. There is no denying that Tony Hawk RIDE is an abomination in every which way possible. And if you want more proof of that, keep reading.

We then get to the aesthetic portion of the game, you know, the stuff that matters in creating a good skateboarding game: the skateparks. Now, between this sentence and that last one right there, there was a good three minute pause as I was trying to gather my thoughts on how I could best describe the level design. Unimaginative would be a bit of a soft word, because that would imply some sort of imagination was used, even if it was generic. Nonimaginative? Is that a word? I don't care if it isn't. It is now. And what exactly is the difference between Unimaginative and nonimaginative? Well, "nonimaginative" simply means no imagination was used, as opposed to "unimaginative" which is used to describe something generic. And instead of "uninspired", I'm going to go with "noninspired". Same concept, folks. Bottomline, these skateparks are a joke. They are devoid of any well thought out design, and absolutely devoid of any fun.

The visuals feel feel as if this game was designed around the Nintendo Wii and then ported up to the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. When I booted the game up, I thought someone was playing some sort of joke on us. Am I really supposed to believe that these low-grade textures and these poorly defined skaters are supposed to be something worthwhile on our current consoles? For the Wii this is acceptable, but on the other two this is a slap in the face. I honestly wish to do nothing more than to just cut this review off right here and tell you to stay away...but I still have one last thing to mention...

And that one last thing is the only good thing, the soundtrack, which is fairly typical of this franchise. RIDE boasts audio from bands like Chevelle, Beck, Queens of the Stone Age, KRS-One, The Raconteurs, Wolfmother, and a whole bunch of others. Even the bands I've never listened offer something solid. But clearly a videogame soundtrack isn't worth $120, we have the internet for stuff like that. Besides, the remaining audio sounds like recycled effects and the voice overs are annoying.

You know, if Tony Hawk RIDE at least offered the option for controlling the game with a standard controller, it'd have fared a bit better. But because you're paying $120 for a door stop and a game disc, you're essentially left with nothing to actually play. So we're not sure what the purpose of Tony Hawk RIDE is. It's a product with a worthless peripheral, for sure. It's also running some sort of dated graphics engine transforming your powerhouse console into a Nintendo Wii. Times like this I wish I had a shooting range somewhere nearby and a shotgun...that'd give me some use out of the skateboard controller, even if it lasts for all of 10 seconds. 

12/10/2009 Arnold Katayev

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Comments (45 posts)

Superman915
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:36:52 AM
Reply

Well at least I still have fond memories of Tony Hawk 1 and 2; which should be on PSN, Sony. I'd get 10x more enjoyment from them than this peripheral porqueria.

Agree with this comment 6 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Alienange
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:12:47 PM

TH2 FTW baby!

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

eLLeJuss
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:45:49 AM
Reply

Lol. i saw a dog using the board on youtube

Last edited by eLLeJuss on 12/10/2009 12:46:02 AM

Agree with this comment 5 up, 2 down Disagree with this comment

Naztycuts
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:46:01 AM
Reply

I feel sorry for all the people who are getting this from their parents/grandparents for the Holidays, just because they'll see the skateboard and think "Ooh Jimmy will like this!"

Last edited by Naztycuts on 12/10/2009 12:47:12 AM

Agree with this comment 9 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

www
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 8:47:47 AM

Yea that s**t sucks. I was damned when I was bought DAMNATION as a gift.

Last edited by www on 12/10/2009 8:48:03 AM

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Orvisman
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 9:23:32 AM

My six-year-old nephew wants this because he is a fan of the Tony Hawk games.

My sister knows I bought my twin six-year-old nephews and seven-year-old-niece a PS3 for X-mas, along with about seven kiddie games (I'll also download the 80 or so PSN games I have on my hard drive).

I told her it has been getting poor reviews, but it is the only thing he wants for X-mas. I suggested she wait a few months and pick it up in a discount bin for $40 or so because it isn't selling.

Agree with this comment 4 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:51:02 AM
Reply

LAAAAAAAWLZ

It's just...that funny.

Agree with this comment 11 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

fluffer nutter
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:58:34 AM
Reply

Holy sh**. That review just took this game and shoved it up Tony's wazoo. I hope he'll be able to sit one day.

Agree with this comment 5 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

NeoHumpty
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:11:47 AM

Atleast the sound scored them something here. Xplay gave it a 1. Seriously, what the heck would it take to get that low of a score on here? I think Arnold is being too generous.

Last edited by NeoHumpty on 12/10/2009 1:12:40 AM

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:43:21 AM

X-Play has a scale of 5, we have a scale of 10. But the scale itself is a bit different, and there 1 doesn't exactly equal our 2 - it's not that simple.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Random_Steve
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:13:02 AM

thing is with reviewers like that, they dont take stuff like sound into consideration if the games really bad, they'll just give it a rubbish score :/

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NeoHumpty
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 8:49:04 AM

Rubbish score for a rubbish game. I wasn't criticizing the score, just surprised something unplayable got the equivalent of a 40%. Still a major failing score, though. Hope parents kept the receipt. :D

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

WorldEndsWithMe
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:00:06 AM
Reply

ouch. Take that Activision.

Last edited by WorldEndsWithMe on 12/10/2009 1:00:42 AM

Agree with this comment 10 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

___________
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:33:32 AM
Reply

when a company is not giving out review copies thats when the alarm bells start ringing.
knew this would be a flop as soon as it was announced at E3.
please can we go back to the good old originals.
1 and 2 i think it was were a hell of allot of fun, not exactly realistic but they were ps1 games.
developers are forgetting that these days.
fun has gone out the window and everything has to be ultra realistic, even if it makes the game as boring and painful as humanly possible.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

556pineapple
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 10:51:25 AM

Bobby Kotick also wanted to take the fun out of playing video games.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

OriginalSin
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:36:21 AM
Reply

Why couldn't they just stick to the tried and trusted method????

I will miss the good old days of Tony Hawk...

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

cLoudou
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 1:40:11 AM
Reply

What's the lowest scoring game for PSXExtreme?

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ben Dutka PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 10:19:00 AM

A 1.6 for Riding Star on the PS2.

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

BikerSaint
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:06:10 AM
Reply

AHA, I knew it and that's why there was an overwhelming odor of s*** every time I past one of those controller at GS.

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Alienange
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:15:50 PM

Maybe... but it's hard to tell with all the BO.

Agree with this comment 4 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

coverton341
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:25:53 AM
Reply

Whoa damn...You, Arnold can be a brutal man when it comes to crap games but that is why I trust this site. You and Ben will tell it how it is and not hold back.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Deleted User
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:30:01 AM
Reply

I liked most Tony Hawk games, all the way to Proving Ground. Sad to see Activision make it into one of their new money making schemes...or try to anyways, very glad it blew up in their face.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ultimate_Balla
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 4:13:07 AM
Reply

LMFAO!

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Banky A
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 5:11:00 AM
Reply

Haha a "Door stop"

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ZettaiSeigi
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 5:35:27 AM
Reply

And Activision c/o Bob Kotick have the nerve to even tell Sony what to do? The PS3 is now going from strength to strength. Sony's first and second-party developers are more than capable or coming up with games that do not even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as this crap. To Activision, the tide has already turned. And it's definitely not on your favour.

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

RekeHavick
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:30:32 PM

Awesome - exactly what I was thinking!

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Ricochet
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 6:13:02 AM
Reply

Ah, the fact of Activision's once beloved franchise just went down the toilet with their "milking" strategy just brings music to my ears.


I shall await a "Modern Warfare: Shoot" peripheral and end the exact same way!

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Wage SLAVES
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 7:18:06 AM
Reply

Damn, Tony Hawk just met his last 'bail'.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Diggity Dan
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 7:46:10 AM
Reply

So, is this game pretty good then?

Agree with this comment 7 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Imagi
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 8:44:29 AM
Reply

No surprise with the review Ben, I was expecting it to be a low score but not as high as 4. Looks like this game was created to sell a peripheral, not to create a unique game experience.

Anyway this is another game franchise that Activision has laid to rest, now that it has milked it so much the teets run red.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 8:56:20 AM

My name is Arnold.

Agree with this comment 10 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Imagi
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 9:24:34 AM

Sorry Arnold, my mistake.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

mexgeo86
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 9:06:40 AM
Reply

Isn't a real skateboard < $120?

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

556pineapple
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 10:54:36 AM

Yeah, most are, but those aren't "loaded with technology." Of course, you can also skate with a real skateboard.

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

ArnoldK PSXE [Administrator]
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:43:02 PM

Hahahaha, nice.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Alienange
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:17:46 PM

Real skateboards roll so you can't use them as doorstops.

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

whiskeytango74
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 10:59:36 AM
Reply

I CANT WAIT TO GET THIS GAME!!!

Agree with this comment 2 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Juanalf
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 11:03:01 AM
Reply

What could have Activision been thinking with this mess.I though all prior Tony Hawk games were excellent the way they are and Proving Ground is still my favorite(and only) skate boarding game of his gen.

Agree with this comment 3 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Highlander
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 11:17:41 AM
Reply

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely what awaits all game franchises that Activision holds.

Agree with this comment 5 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

JackC8
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:24:27 PM

Agreed. Kotick will get his millions and everybody else can go to hell.

Agree with this comment 0 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

RekeHavick
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:32:44 PM

Sad but most likely true. Hopefully Treyarch will be left to do what they do best.

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Alienange
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 2:25:56 PM
Reply

Well we all saw this coming. I actually think a 4 is quite generous. I foresee a "Lair controller patch" in its near future.

With DJ Hero and now this, we can safely say that Activision is under poor management. Also, anyone notice how those weirdos who bought the MW2 Prestige Edition are nowhere to be found with their "my nvg are so awesome" statements? Because it's pants! That's why. Stupid Activision adding plastic peripherals to raise the prices of their games.

Last edited by Alienange on 12/10/2009 2:26:13 PM

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BeezleDrop
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 3:34:09 PM
Reply

I'm glad I can actually skateboard. I didn't expect much of this game, it just looked, awful.

Agree with this comment 1 up, 0 down Disagree with this comment

Danny007
Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 6:03:48 PM
Reply

I'm sorry you had to play this poor game Arnold.

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BikerSaint
Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 1:02:31 AM
Reply

AHA!
STUPID ANTIVISION.

"IN YOUR FACE, KOTECK!!!!!!!

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