Gran Turismo 5 (satire review) User Review
also you must install the updates witch will take a hour more. now after that the game starts with a relly long video with dumb music. at first you have no ida wat they are makeing but after a minute or to you realise its a car!wich is kinda cool. once you get in to the start menu you have for options, gt mode, arcade, course maker and gt tv. the modes are easy to get.now you start off picking a wall paper and color(like myspace) and driver. i picked black because that is like a ninja.
After that your dropped in to a vary confusing menu where you will have a hard time finding ANYTHING. that was the first of the many things wrong with gt5. i doubt that even after spending more then the 45 seconds i did looking around, you will get it. I was told that i need to buy a car, so i went to the dealer and looked at my favorite brands. i found a sweet charger that was 40,000CR. so i decided to go the the used dealer to get a used charger for half the price(because you only start with 20,000cr). This is were another flaw of gt apears.
Unlike the other dealer shop, you dont get to see every car at once. and as luck would have it, there was no charger. i then decided on a evo 7, which was about 19,00cr. cool right? wrong! another flaw shows its hed. it said you must be a level 7 A or B spec. so i went with what i thought would be the best that i could get, a fait panda super I.E. '90. I then went to my first race. The race was a rolling start, as i pulled over the start line i held the R2 button tight and ready to race. Little did i know that in "the real driving simulator" you push X for gas not R2 like better racing games! EPIC FAIL! LOL!
So now i know that X is gas, but i still didn't know L2 wasn't break. i slammed into the third corner at full speed. I thouhgt hey, i'll just rewind, nope! Not in GT5. And i really think this will be trouble with new players wanting to just pop in for a 4 minute race. After i found out that circle was break, things did not get any easier. slamming on the break at the last second causes you to spin out just like in GTA4. Another flaw. Needless to say i lost my first race. After that i went to 'gt auto' to upgrade my engine. after my engine overhaul i went back to the track and lost again. After a few very confusing minutes in the main menu i figured out that the 'tune shop' was the place to upgrade.
I spent the last of my cash on turbos and engine upgrades.i got 4th in my next race. Now i won't keep boring you with all the little details. For the next hour i just kept grinding on the first three stages. side note: if grinding is not your thing then you may not like GT5 as their is a lot of it. that's the only way i was able to get to the level i need to complete this review. After i reached A spec level 8, i felt i've seen all this game has to offer. It took me about 5 hours with license test and stuff. here is where casual players may feel that this game is to long. hello long story much? LOL.
I feel like gt5 gives you TO much. i mean you could have beaten COD black ops in the amount of time i spent grinding up to level 8. i'll only touch on the other modes quickly. kart mode is a joke, mario kart is much better and more tight, not for people who want fun kart racing. nascar was cool. to short. B spec, i hope you like watching races and not playing you're games. track maker, sucks. rally, not anything like motor storm where the physics in that were much better. i will close with saying gt does in fact try to much. they say it has 1000 cars but i would have much rather just seen about 70 cool cars like in shift. no one wants to drive a Minni cooper. This game is not for everyone and and if you need a racing game i'd say play shift or even forza 3.
[Please note: this is a satire review of how I felt people looked at GT5 while reviewing it. Reviews coming out only a day or two after GT came out was not fair time for this huge game. And yeah, the bad spelling and grammar were part of it. GT5 is in my top 10 games of all time.]
This user review does not reflect the views of the PSX Extreme Staff.